(Closed) Did you include your step-parent(s) on the program?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would skip the programs.  Given that your mom raised you, which I assume most people will know, you will look like an ingrate.   

Post # 17
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My parents are divorced and my dad is remarried. If I remember right, we had a section in the program where we listed the person’s name in one column, and then next to it in another column a description of their relationship to us. So my dad and stepmom were listed together, and to the side it said “father and stepmother of the bride.” My mom was also listed as “mother of the bride.” My in-laws were listed as “parents of the groom.” I hope that makes sense and something similar might work for you.

Post # 18
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I think it works best to include everyone! One of my friends has divorced and remarried parents, but his wife doesn’t. They wrote out each title separately and used the & sign to show couples. e.g. Joe & Jenny Smith – Father & Stepmother of the Groom. For her parents (who are married but have different last names) they wrote, e.g. John Brown & Lucy Ball, Father and Mother of the Bride.

Post # 19
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

MelissainNC:  I could have written your post, although I am very close with my stepmom and 100% wanted her listed on the invite. In my case, my dad/stepmom foot the bill for half the wedding (we paid the other half). Because of that I used the traditional “Mr & Mrs Bride’s Dad request the plesaure of your company at”. I didn’t include any other parent’s names on the invite because frankly I would have been annoyed to put my mother on there like she’d been a host when she never offered a cent or any interest, and also because Darling Husband also has divorced/remarried parents and it would have been a laundry list of names on the invite.

I did list all of our parents on the program. My stepmom is really important to me, and I wanted to make sure she had a vital role in the day and was not overshadowed because she’s not my “mom”. I even made sure to let our photographers know that she is the primary mother figure in my life because I wanted our photos to reflect that. 

Post # 20
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

Include her. “Together with the parents”. 

Post # 21
Member
6004 posts
Bee Keeper

As a step-mom myself, I would only be hurt if it was something major that made me feel excluded, as in “Can you not come to the wedding?” or “Can you not sit with Dad?” (which I don’t foresee my step-daughter doing!)….. but I have a good relationship with my step-daughter, didn’t raise her, and her mom’s actively involved in the picture, so if she included my name on a program it would be sweet, but if she didn’t it would be no big deal. And I certainly wouldn’t want my inclusion on a program to cause any drama or hurt feelings.

You may want to go the ‘together with parents’ option or specify in the titles ‘mother of the bride’ and then ‘father and stepmother of the bride’. I think either is fine and anyone not fine with either of these options is frankly making too big a deal of things.

Post # 22
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy

Ukulele4You:  I agree 100%. She may not have “mothered” you as a child, but she certainly has been there for you as an adult. I don’t see why you can’t list all three of them as parents. Also, if she and your dad have been married 25 years, I would think it’s safe to say he’s using some marital funds to pay half your wedding. I think including her would be the decent thing to do and why risk hurting someone that has been there for you?

Post # 24
Member
3294 posts
Sugar bee

MelissainNC:  Oh my goodness. That is funny. You could put Mary Doex2. I also live in NC and had a summer wedding. I have out fans and they were used quite a bit by the guests. Good luck! 

Post # 25
Member
1388 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We did this for my husband:

 

Parents of the Groom

Joanna & Bob Perkins

Clark & Patricia Miller

Post # 26
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

depends on your relationship. I didn’t have any with mine =/ 

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