Post # 1
I have asked my cousin, his wife, and their three kids to bring up the gifts for our wedding. Now I’m unsure if I should invite them to attend the rehearsal.
I feel like I could so easily tell them they don’t have to come to the rehearsal because bringing up the gifts is an easy job, and doesn’t really require rehearsing. However, I can also understand inviting them because they are technically “in” the wedding.
The problem is that it would unfortunately also mean expanding the rehearsal DINNER guest list. I feel bad adding five people to the rehearsal dinner guest list which already includes our 16-person bridal party, 3 readers, everyone’s signifant others, and our parents. My fiance’s parents are paying for it, and I feel bad. It also adds kids into the mix which changes the dynamic.
To those of you have had or are having a Catholic Mass, did you invite the gift bearers to the rehearsal / rehearsal dinner?
Post # 3
deleted- looked it up myself.
Post # 4
Yes we did, but they were my Grandparents so they would have been there anyway
I would say yes, you should have them at the rehearsal so they know their cues.
ETA: During our rehearsal the priest asked for the gift bearers specifically and walked them through the motions. He also asked where they would be sitting.
Post # 5
We are not planning on it unless the priest tells us it’s absolutely necessary. Our gift bearers are already very familiar with a Catholic ceremony, so they’ll know what to do. We’re in the same situation; it adds too many people to an already oversize rehearsal dinner.
Post # 6
we did for the purpose of inviting them to the rehearsal dinner as a thank you… i don’t think you have to as long as they are comfortable going ahead with it
Post # 7
@jg780806: I have no idea who will be bringing up the gifts so no, they will not be invited.
Post # 8
Tough spot. I’d say, don’t ask them to bring up gifts if you can’t invite them to the dinner, but it’s too late for that now.
Etiquette says they should be invited to rehearsal and dinner. Althought YOU think it’s an easy job, they may feel uneasy not have a rehearsal or practice.
With that said, expecting your in laws to pay for a 25 person dinner is a lot.
My advice? Take a step back. Can your in laws afford it? Do they have financial difficulty? Did they verbally give you a person limit? Did you already give them a head count?
Perhaps, your fiance, can call his parents and ask them if they wouldn’t mind having 5 more people to the dinner–or even offer to pay for them ( they will probably refuse you paying, but its a nice gesture)
I had about 20 people at my dinner.
Post # 9
@littlemisst08: Same here. Our Maid/Matron of Honor and best man brought up our gifts so they were invited but would have been there anyway. I would say if they are part of the ceremony they should be at rehearsal and be invited to dinner.
Post # 10
The coordinator at the parish we are getting married at said we have to have gift bearers at the rehearsal or they cannot participate in our ceremony. Anyways, I think we will opt for someone already in the wedding party to bring up the gifts. They actually suggested we do it.