(Closed) DId you invite his/your ex? What happened next?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: DId you invite his/your ex that one of you hates? What happened next?
    Yes & it upset me but we felt we had to because he/she is a part of our group of friends. : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Yes but he/she didn't come. *phew!* : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Yes but I was so busy & there were so many people, that I didn't even notice he/she was there. : (2 votes)
    5 %
    No and it wasn't a big deal. I don't know why I got so stressed about it. : (30 votes)
    77 %
    No but It caused a lot of problems with our other friends. Maybe we should have invited him/her... : (0 votes)
    No. The ex was pretty hurt & upset but hopefully they'll understand someday... : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3969 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MorningStar_Smiles:  We did not invite exs. We do not currently talk to them so there were no hurt feelings. Honestly, I don’t think exs should be invited and I don’t think they should take it personally. I wouldn’t even want to go to my ex’s wedding! However, if you remained friends I could see it being harder to decide, but I would think if your ex is a true friend, s/he would understand the position that would put them in.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No… why would you invite an ex? I don’t speak to any of my exes and neither does my fiance. Why be concerned with their feelings? The relationship with them is OVER and long done, everyone needs to just move on.

    The ONLY reason I can think of to invite an ex is if you share children with the person, but in that case hopefully everyone is mature enough to get along anyway.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3082 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My MOH is DH’s ex.  They dated and lived together about ten years ago.  They still work together, but she is my absolute best friend.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Why would you consider inviting an ex unless they were currently dating one of your other friends??

    Post # 7
    Member
    5012 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Erm… Other. We both invited exes. Mine came all day with his girlfriend and helped carry my chair in the Horah; his came in the evening and wished us well having obviously put a lot of effort into her outfit and hair.

    I’ve just realised it was exes that one of us hates… yes. He invited one of his exes who I hate but she didn’t come. She’d asked us to come to her wedding… as vendors… for free. This after she’d asked him if he still had naked pictures of her and then got pissy when I gave her an earful (I don’t care if he does, but she shouldn’t bloody ask).

    Post # 8
    Member
    9237 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    We’re inviting one of my exes and his wife because they are some of our best friends. I think if you think of the guy as a dear friend it’s fine – if he’s just an ex and there’s anything awkward, no way.

    eta: Just saw your poll asks about an ex that you hate. HELLLL NO! I wouldn’t invite anyone that one of us hates, let alone an ex. Who care what anyone else thinks – its your wedding and you shouldn’t have anyone there you hate.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4607 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    FH mentioned inviting one of his exes, but I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with that. She’s tried to get him to sleep with her on several different occasions and she’s always making off handed comments about how great their relationship was versus my relationship with him. Needless to say, she won’t be getting an invitation. I feel like she would cause a scene if she did come and I’d just rather not have that.

    Post # 10
    Member
    157 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m inviting my ex and his ex is one of my bridesmaids.  His other ex is also invited as well.  We’re gonna have a super awkward wedding! haha

    Post # 11
    Member
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I used to work with my ex and I will be inviting a lot of mutial friends, however I do not intend to invite him. I feel like everyone would be more shocked if I did invite him. We do not get along very well and It is always awkward when I hang out with that group of friends and he is there. My FI does not have a bad relationship with his ex FI, but I would not be comfortable having her there. She lives far away now and he hasn’t talked to her in years, so we would never have thought to invite her. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2227 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I invited my ex since we’re still good friends & she’s been with my MOH for 4 years; it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t invite DH’s ex since neither of us talk to her/that circle anymore. It wasn’t a big deal either.

    Post # 13
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    A friend of mine got married and had two of her exes and one fling at her wedding it was just so wrong and I couldn’t understand it myself! Each to their own but personally I wouldn’t do it!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    8044 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @MorningStar_Smiles:  I would not invite an ex. If it was a DISTANT ex, like 10+ years and you were still friends, then maybe… but unless you elaborate further, I have no idea how not inviting an ex could cause more problems than inviting an ex.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    627 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it depends on your relationship with the ex. I dated a guy in like gr 9 for like a month, he’s my best guy friend.. he was actually in our wedding party. Does that count as it was so long ago? I also dated another guy on and off for a long time and he was at our wedding. We’re friends, it would have been weird not to invite him. If your ex is someone who you are both friends with, then yes totally invite them. If you’re not friends, don’t hang out on a regular basis and it would be awkward to have them there.. then don’t invite them.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would never invite an ex. Fi & I recently discussed this because fsil is inviting my brothers ex to their wedding. And her ex and his kid. Fi felt very strongly that he doesn’t want anyone at our wedding who he can trade bedroom tips about me with! Those were his words but I get it. 

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