(Closed) DId you invite his/your ex? What happened next?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: DId you invite his/your ex that one of you hates? What happened next?
    Yes & it upset me but we felt we had to because he/she is a part of our group of friends. : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Yes but he/she didn't come. *phew!* : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Yes but I was so busy & there were so many people, that I didn't even notice he/she was there. : (2 votes)
    5 %
    No and it wasn't a big deal. I don't know why I got so stressed about it. : (30 votes)
    77 %
    No but It caused a lot of problems with our other friends. Maybe we should have invited him/her... : (0 votes)
    No. The ex was pretty hurt & upset but hopefully they'll understand someday... : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    1381 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I invited my ex (whom I’m still friends with) and his current gf.  He politely declined, then later messaged me on FB that they’ll be away on vacation around my wedding date….. aaaaaand that his little lady felt awkward about going to my wedding.  I’ve never met her before, but he apparently talked about me enough to make her uncomfortable.  Oh well, it is what it is.  We needed to cut down our guest list anyway! 😛

    Post # 33
    Member
    983 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I’m friends with one of my exes and SO keeps in touch with all of his. I expect at least 4 of our collective exes are considered close enough friends to be invited. His most recent ex (5 years ago) is the mother of his child and she told me that she’ll be very upset if she didn’t receive an invite to our wedding and that she better get one, whenever it may be. well, okay then. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @distracts:  + a million

    Unless you’re great friends, exes don’t belong at your wedding (or any event). Both Fiance and I have shitbag exes, so that’s a no. We have a friend who literally does not understand why we aren’t friends with our exes–at 30, she has never had a bad relationship/breakup and is still friends with all of her exes. She doesn’t understand why I hate FI’s psycho ex, or why I hate my own, for that matter. Considering our exes are both crazy and emotionally abusive? I’m shocked none of his friends knew that, since they all hung out with her pretty frequently.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m quite lucky in this sense- it hasn’t been an issue. Neither of us are in contact with our exes, nor do we have mutual friends. There is one person my Fiance briefly dated who is friends with someone in our circle, but not close enough to come to our wedding.

    My ex was emotionally, verbally, physically and sexually abusive so if he turned up, my father would probably murder him.

    Post # 36
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Circumstances alter cases and that’s a topic that is different for everyone.  I would not be comfortable with it and I know my Fiance wouldn’t be either.  There’s no reason to invite them.  Your celebrating your new life together as a family, why bring previous candidates into it??

    Post # 37
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Other: he dated this girl for like 4 months in college. It wasn’t serious and they never even had sex. I’m actually friends with her and her sister and their whole group of friends. Sounds like she’ll probably come, and I hope she does, she’s awesome! She and fiance just weren’t good in a relationship, so hey.

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