(Closed) Did you invite your FMIL dress shopping?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Invite FMIL?
    Yes : (51 votes)
    37 %
    No : (68 votes)
    49 %
    Go shopping just with family first, invite her the next time when we have it narrowed down. : (20 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t invite mine, and I wouldn’t invite yours.  It seems like a nice gesture but I don’t think it’s necessary.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    23620 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I didn’t invite mine either, and she didn’t really expect to be invited. What I did was I sent her photos of the dress I finally ended up picking, so she could be involved!

    Post # 5
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I invited mine. I had tried on dresses two times before with my mum. When I found “the dress” I was with my mum, sister and Future Mother-In-Law. My mum was actually the one the suggested I go with her. So we went tried some on then went to lunch. After lunch I went back with Future Mother-In-Law tried the dress on again and paid for it. She seemed to have fun and I’m glad she was there. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I didn’t invite mine because I wanted a small group. I didn’t invite any other BMs besides my Maid/Matron of Honor who is my only sister. It was just her and my mom that came with.

    Do what will make you MOST comfortable!

    Post # 8
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you plan on going shopping more than once, I would invite her at least once. It will probably mean a lot to her, and will give your mother and her a chance to get to know each other. Honestly I would be more likely to invite her to the first shopping experience, because your less likely to be buying during that visit, and won’t feel influenced on your final decision by her presence.

    I shopped once with my mom and sister, but it was way before my wedding when I just happened to be in my hometown. The rest of my dress shopping I did alone, until I went with Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law to pick out FSIL’s bridesmaid dress. I ended up buying another dress even though I hadn’t planned on it. It was nice to have someone who knew me along, and they’ve both been great to our family (I have a 5yo son and FH and I have a daughter together). I think inviting your Future Mother-In-Law would be a nice gesture but you should do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

    Post # 9
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I invited mine for one of the reasons you give: FH is an only child, so I thought it would be a nice gesture to let her do a “daughter-y” wedding thing. I also just really like her, she’s a swell lady! She politely declined, because she didn’t want to make my shopping entourage even bigger. 

    I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable. If you don’t think you’ll be able to be yourself entirely around her (which I completely understand), maybe leave her at home until a fitting, or an early trip when you’re more just browsing. That way she can be involved, but when the stakes/pressure are a little lower. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

      I didn’t invite mine. I only went shopping one day, and it was just my mom and I. I know my mom would have done whatever I wanted, but I know that this was really special for her. I have a younger sister, but she will more than likely not go down a traditional route when she gets married. I wanted to keep it a small group, too.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I went on a few dress hunting trips, and my Future Mother-In-Law came once. I’m not close with my own Mum, and I’m pretty close with Future Mother-In-Law.. plus, none of FI’s brothers’ fiancées/wives asked her to go, so I figured it would be a nice gesture.

    Post # 12
    Member
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I didn’t because I wanted that to be a special trip with just me and my mom.  DH has two sisters, so I know Mother-In-Law will get to go shopping with them when it’s their turn.  Do what would make you most comfortable!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I didn’t invite mine, but I stopped by her house afterwards to show her pictures of the dresses I tried. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I invited my Future Mother-In-Law since her only daughter died I wanted her to feel involved with some of the wedding stuff. Plus we have a pretty good relationship! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My mom couldn’t come, so I didn’t invite Future Mother-In-Law. I thought it would be weird to have Future Mother-In-Law and not my mom. I ended up going once, and then buying a dress used (that was similiar to the dresses I had tried on) so I emailed both of them pictures before I made the purchase. I had already decided that I was getting it regardless though. Future Mother-In-Law saw my dress on a recent visit, which was nice, but she is concerned about it clashing with the venue (dress is blush/champagne, venue is red). I think it will be fine though and I’m not changing either one. I’m really excited for my mom and my sister to see the dress when they come for graduation. I plan on kicking Fiance out of the apt for a little while so I can try it on for them. When I went dress shopping I brought my sister, Maid/Matron of Honor, one Bridesmaid or Best Man (the one who is local) and my dad (because he wouldn’t lend me the car and I was visiting and left mine at home). (MOH and Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t know they’re  in the wedding yet.) It was nice, but my dad was really really emotional so he left. I think it finally clicked for him that I’m getting married while I was trying things on.

    Post # 16
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I only invited my mom, and at the last minute invited my sister who’s also my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I wanted as little “hoopla” as possible, and felt more comfortable with a small group.  Afterwards at the next family function, I showed my Future Mother-In-Law as well as some of the other bridal party members.

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