(Closed) Did you invite your FMIL to get ready with you?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did you invite FMIL to get ready with you?
    Yes : (51 votes)
    42 %
    No : (71 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    i got ready with fmil my two SIL, my two sisters. they stayed at the hotel the night before and paid for hairdresser and the makeup artist. my mom didnt stay over and got ready at home. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    4167 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    futuremrsm3:  I do not plan on having her get ready with me. She is a sweetheart, but she has no understanding of personal space. She will be on top of me all day and will drive me crazy. I get very tense when my personal space is invaded for long periods of time.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2098 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Never in a million years would that even have occurred to me. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

     

    View original reply
    lavender-reveries:  I am the same way! I am marrying her eldest son and she has no daughters. I couldn’t imagine not inviting her!

    Post # 35
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I did especially since she doesn’t have a daughter but she preferred to get ready on her own.  I think extending the offer though made her feel welcome and further bolstered our relationship.

    Post # 36
    Member
    7265 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yes, for part of it. We had all the moms (MIL, my mom, & my stepmom) come for hair/makeup – they all went first. Then they all went and got ready at their places. I wouldn’t have cared if my Mother-In-Law stayed, she’s a hoot and fun to have around. My friends and family LOVE her. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    I haven’t decided yet, but this thread caught my eye. Now thinking about it, I might, just because my Fiance is her only child, she’ll be coming in from out of state, won’t know anyone else, and to be honest, she’s actually not all that much older than me (I’m 5 years older than Fiance, and his mom had him YOUNG – at 15) so she’s only ten years older than me. I have a cousin older than her, and while I know age doesn’t mean anything, I may end up asking just because, like I said, otherwise she’d be completely alone (her parents have passed away, she doesn’t have any sisters, so its really just her and her husband, FI’s step-dad). 

    Post # 38
    Member
    6518 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    futuremrsm3:  i did but she declined, politely – reason being my mother has made my Mother-In-Law uncomfortable, she didn’t outright say that but I know just from past experiences that is why. My mother is a very jealous person. She is jealous of the great relationship I have with my Mother-In-Law. My mother and myself do not have the perfect relationship, we have had a lot of ups and downs. She did come to the salon to get her makeup done but she didn’t come back to the house with us to get dressed and what not. I know my Mother-In-Law and I know that she didn’t want my mom to feel like she was over stepping boundaries, she knows what its like to be the mother of the bride so she wanted us to have that time alone. Little does she know the evil shit my mother pulled the morning of!!!!

    Post # 39
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I think this is a personal decision, and you are fine either way. 🙂  I don’t thing you are under any obligation to invite her, so it depends on what you’re comfortable with and if you’d like her to be there.

    I hadn’t thought of this yet, but now I am! I probably will invite her to join us for at least part of the getting-ready portion of the day, but will probably decide as it gets a bit closer, as we start to flesh out the schedule of the day.

    Post # 40
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee

    We’re not having a bridal party, and FH and I are getting ready together, so we’ll probably invite both of our families to join us. We’re doing some things super non-traditionally though, so it really depends on what you feel comfortable with. I’m sure your Future Mother-In-Law would be fine just getting ready with her husband or any extended family members/friends who might be attending, if you feel like it would be stressful to have her get ready with you. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    3441 posts
    Sugar bee

    Before I made my makeup/hair plans, my Mother-In-Law asked for a recommendation of a place to get a blow out, so I gave her one and then just did not talk about my getting ready, nor did she ask. Tons of her side of family flew in for the wedding so I rightfully assumed she would rather spend time with them than watch me get my fake eyelashes applied.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1594 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    View original reply
    futuremrsm3:  No, I didn’t. That sounds like it could have been a nightmare and I don’t regret it.  

    If she’s that opininated, I wouldn’t have her get ready with you. 

    I actually had my mom and aunties get “ready” at home, then come to the hotel where my sisters and I were and get their makeup done and change into their dresses. I adore my mom, but I didn’t want to be fussed over the entire day. It actually worked out great, becuase she brought a late lunch for us and I had already gotten my makeup done and was moving on to hair. It just kept the day from getting too overwhelming for me.  

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  .
    Post # 43
    Member
    1016 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Yes, she was there, especially because her daughter (my SIL) was a bridesmaid. I included all the bridesmaids, my mom, Mother-In-Law, and aunt in our getting-ready group (all of the bridesmaids had the option of having the makeup and hair artist work on them, so it only made sense to also give my mom, aunt and Mother-In-Law that same option).

    Post # 44
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I invited my Future Mother-In-Law because Fiance is an only child and she doesn’t get to do the mother/daughter stuff. She likes being a part of everything, and I don’t mind because we get along well.

    Post # 45
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I am planning on inviting Future Mother-In-Law because I think it will mean a lot to her. I have a related dilemma though – she asked how she is going to have her hair done/if I could book a hairstylist for her. Future Mother-In-Law has a “dome perm” for lack of a better term and she doesn’t want to pay $90 to have my hairstylist “do her hair”… not sure what to suggest other than to give her the names of some of the salons in town. 

    The topic ‘Did you invite your FMIL to get ready with you?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors