Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
Hey Bee’s! Happy Friday! 🙂
I’m curious. Did you involve anyone from your family, bridal party or otherwise in the making and creating of your seating chart?
I don’t mean the one you place at the reception for guests to find their seats, I mean the process of deciding who sits with whom at what table, etc etc.
I had decided long ago that I was going to handle the seating chart on my own. I knew I would ask both my mother and my Future Mother-In-Law if there were any ‘need to knows’. For example; if Uncle Billy cannot sit at a table with Aunt Jane because they had a nasty divorce. However, the final decisions about what tables and where people would sit were going to be up to my discretion.
However at dinner the other night the topic of one particular guest came up. She is the sister of my Future Mother-In-Law and apparently is going to decide if she is coming to my wedding “at the last minute”. When I asked what that meant, I was told it meant this guest would decide the week of my wedding if she was going to be in attendance. My RSVP date be damned. And not only that! My Future Mother-In-Law expects me now to; “work with me on the seating chart, so we can have someone at the family table be swapped out if she decides to come”. [insert inner screaming here]
So I guess I came curious how much involvement other Brides had in their seating chart arrangements? Did you let others have their say in seating whomever they felt like it? Did you ask questions about situations to avoid and go from there? Or did you just handle it all yourself?
Post # 2
I got all my RSVPs by three days ago and my seating chart is already made. I involved no one, even though my Future Mother-In-Law insisted she be involved, but she’s a monster. I told my fiance that I got this, he trusts me, and I did it and this is the way it’s going to be.
Because my parents are paying for the entire reception, my mom asked to just peek and it and I let her this morning, but she had no input or questions or comments. She said it looked great.
So, onward I go 🙂 Remember, the second you hand the seating chart to your wedding coordinator, everyone who wanted to give input no longer matters. Assume your fiance’s aunt is coming. Your fiance needs to tell his mom that you got this. Just hand it over and enjoy your wedding XD
Post # 3
Nope, we just picked the seating arrangements ourselves. We found that making all the decisions between the two of us kept everything planning related a lot easier and less stressful.
Post # 4
Nope. I did it myself, no input except from my husband.
Post # 5
Myself and my husband did it, but we didn’t assign specific seats. We had long tables, so all of his dad’s family sat at one table, all of my mom’s family sat at another, my friends were at a table, he had 2 tables of friends, etc. It was so much easier, because people got to sit by who they wanted and we didn’t have to worry about it.
Do NOT let you Future Mother-In-Law have any choice in this, just do it yourself, assume the aunt is coming, and if she doesn’t show, NBD. (FWIW – I have 2 cousins that are farmers, and they were unsure if they could come until the last minute. We assumed they would be there, they couldn’t make it in the end, NBD. We didn’t mind paying for them if they weren’t there because we were so close with them, and every wedding will have no-shows, so its just something you need to roll with)
Don’t let her have input, and don’t show it to her until right before the wedding, if you HAVE to show it to her. If you do show it to her, make sure she knows that there are no changes that are able to be made. If she asks you about it, just keep saying its in progress and it will be done before the big day.
Post # 6
I did the majority of it myself, but I did ask my parents who they wanted me to put at their table, and my in-laws who they wanted me to put at their table. They each got to pick a total of 8 people to sit with. I also talked to my husband about how to group his friends. For the most part, the groupings were pretty natural and it wasn’t too difficult.
Post # 7
I did it all myself, but did ask for input from my parents. We had a few “awkward” couples (didn’t know anyone else in attendance) and wanted to make sure they would be comfortable where they were sitting.
I think your Future Mother-In-Law is being completely ridiculous and you shouldn’t “work with her” and definitely shouldn’t allow this guest to decide the week of the wedding if she wants to come or not. Rude.
Post # 8
We asked for input on a few tricky situations. Both “family” tables (parents/grandparents) did not make a full table, so we asked for input on who they would like to fill out their table. We also asked for advice on particularly sticky family situations or difficult relatives. I actually wanted the support of my in-laws and my family on this, because if a guest had an issue, they understood our thought process and backed us up. But my in-laws are easy so I’m lucky.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I did it myself. No one but Darling Husband got a say in who sat where because it was our wedding so it was our decision to make. Period. Don’t let the rude aunt bully you via your Mother-In-Law.
Post # 10
We assigned tables not seats, so it was just a list. My husband and i made what we thought was a good list and then sat down with our parents to see if they felt the need to move people. They offered their suggestions. Some we took, some we didn’t. Outs not their wedding it’s ours
Post # 11
My husband did the seating chart for his friends and family, my mom did it for my family and my best friend did it for our group of friends. So I didn’t actually do any of the seating chart.
Post # 12
My husband got input and my parents who footed the bill. My sisters tried to interject and it made things so hard. I had to redo it 3 times and it was awful.