Did you just know he was 'The One'?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

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sankwa :  I know what you mean! My fiancé and I always said how “natural” it felt to be together. Even very early on.  It was like we had always known each other. 

OP:  I was not ready for a relationship when I  started [inadvertently] dating my [now] fiancé . (I was very recently divorced and had just moved to  Miami to begin my doctoral degree. I knew my fiancé through an orchestra we both played in in South Florida. He was more of an acquaintance.  After I first moved, we hung out a few times since he was the only person I knew in Miami. We completely clicked but I was not ready for him. We decided to just go with it and not label anything and just hang out when we wanted to and not deny ourselves the fun we were having. No need to talk about the future or anything like that, we were just taking it day by day. He was separated and I was divorced so we didn’t want to rush anything. Although we did discuss if we were going to date other people and neither of us wanted to. I wouldn’t even admit he was my boyfriend for months because just that label scared me even though we were spending every waking moment together and had already told each other “I love you.”  Eventually I got over the fear and totally gave in and it was the best decision ever. We just got engaged on July 1 (four years and two weeks after I moved to Miami) and we couldn’t be happier.  

Post # 17
Member
9998 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t believe in “The One” but we had a very strong connection very early on. We felt very comfortable and safe being ourselves with each other pretty much immediately. It just felt like meeting someone who was instantly your best friend. We didn’t start dating until a month after we met but I think we both always knew it was headed there. 

Post # 18
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

A few things. I knew we were going to be great together immediately as neither of us played games. We hung out (not really a date!) for the first time at his place, and I just desperately wanted to go over the next night. I text him to see if he was free and was just so cool about it, and said of course. Many guys would do the ‘wait 3 days’ thing.

I then knew I was going to be in this for the long-haul when I got flu at his house after only a month or two of dating, and couldn’t get out of bed for 3 days. He looked after me, cooked and didn’t care that I was there constantly, didn’t try to make me go home to my own place. On the fourth day when I finally managed to get myself up, he had written ‘I love you’ on the bathroom mirror for me to find. It was the first time he’d said it. 

And finally, how I knew he was the one to unconditionally love and support me. We’d been together about 8 months, and my stepmother died very unexpectedly aged 50. When my dad called to tell me, the pain was unbearable and I lost control, fell to the ground and just screamed and screamed. He knew exactly what to do. He called in sick for work, he called my boss and explained everything, and he spent the next few months doing everything he could to help my family heal. That was the real moment I knew he was absolutely the only one I would ever need – in good times and bad. 

Post # 20
Member
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We both knew. Fiance says he felt something different the first time we hung out. He was the first guy I ever said yes to when he asked me out. There was just something about him that I couldn’t get enough of. Now once we started dating, I started to feel unsure, because the first time dating someone can be scary, because it’s so new. But after a couple weeks together, I got over the awkwardness of the new experiences, and I started to fall head over heels. We made a year yesterday, and we’ve been inseperable for the entire year.

Post # 21
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

I don’t believe there is “one” person you should marry and anyone else you will be miserable! BUT when I met my fiance, I told my girlfriend the same night I think I will marry him. Not that I was that much in love, but I saw he was different to everyone I had met and being with him was so easy and happy to me — like no one else. It was not at all the same for him. He held back because he had his heart broken by a girl he thought was “the one” before. Even now he is sad because he feels he is forever just “catching up” to me in the love department. I am always ahead. He asked me to give a list of things he could do to show me love. I tried this, and it became a list of all the things he does already. Long story short, we are each others ones, but I am the only person who “just knew.”  

Post # 22
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Yes and no.  I knew he was very special to me the second I met him, like I knew exactly who he was within before I was even fully aware of his physical appearance.  It took getting back together years later to understand he was my earthmate, the person I am supposed to be with in this life. 

Post # 23
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t put a lot of stock into whether or not people agree with “the one” or “love at first sight”.

All I can speak to is my experiences and my experience is that my Darling Husband is absolutely, unequivocally, hands down “the one” for me. I met him shortly after my divorce and the way our paths crossed, and the values and connections we share, down to very small intimate details of our lives isn’t something any Joe Blow could fulfill. I don’t think, for me, there’s bazillions of other options available to me that would make me as happy as I am with my husband. At my age, with the amount of shit I went through to get to him, I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t think he was The One.

Post # 24
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

First time I met SO… hmmm.

“Met” him when I was around 14. As in went to highschool together and was in a program together for 3+years. Ironically side by side that whole time. SO close but never talked (I was painfully shy with anyone). That plus he was always dating someone and me vice versa and I kinda sorta thought he was slightly pompous. I am not even sure we ever really held a conversation that entire time lol.

So I think back and find it so odd we are together planning to get married 14 years later. So I would say it was SLOW haha. Would have NEVER thought (then again I was a child) that he was the one back then. 

Post # 25
Member
769 posts
Busy bee

Bizarrely, yes. We met online and exchanged emails and then texts for a few weeks before I agreed to meet him. After the first time we met I messaged my friend and told her I was going to marry him. 

Post # 26
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

Surprisingly, yes I did. I’ve always been pretty rational/realistic/non-romantic in relationships so I was VERY alarmed when it happened.  I hadn’t been out of my previous relationship very long and I was in a place where I was very happy being single so it was very strange..

We met/made out at a staff party when he first started working for my company, so at first I tried to keep it quiet. But I remember on our second date lying in bed with him with a huge shit eating grin on my face and my head spinning with ‘i love him. I’m going to marry him,’ while simultaneously thinking I’d LOST my mind. I told my sister I was going to marry him after a month, and turns out I was right because we’re now engaged! 

One of the funniest things about it was that a lot of things that would normally be a ‘big deal’ in the relationship just felt like a given. Like the first time he told me he wanted to marry me (2 months in) mentally I was like – ‘well ya, of course! duh..’. Or when we first said ‘i love you’ (1 month in) and when we moved in together (3-5months in) I actually was kind of embarrassed to tell my friends because it was so insanely out of character for me. I was always the slow and steady type before this.. 

Post # 27
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee

Nope.

Post # 28
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

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sankwa :  “Yes, I had the feeling that I had known him all my life, a feeling I have never experienced before nor have I experienced it since. It started out as a comfortable feeling… and it grew into that feeling of having known someone so long you automatically recognize them.”

This! Honestly it was the most bizarre thing. We just *thunked* together as though we’d always been together, but at the same time it was exciting. I’m normally emotionally guarded, and even though I’m comfortable around people and have gotten excited over guys i’ve dated in the past, it normally takes a long time for me to feel like we know each other or like we fit into each other’s lives.. 

Post # 29
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I knew pretty quickly he was very special. Early on we jokingly called each other “husband” and “wife,” haha. But I don’t really believe in “the one” as a concept that much. I think he and I go together really well, we make a great team, and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, BUT I don’t think that means he is a magical person that was meant for me by design. I’ve learned through our relationship that loving each other is a conscious choice we keep making every day, and I know we’re right for each other because we’ve happily continued to keep making that choice no matter what. Not to get all sappy on y’all 😉

Edited this to say that I don’t think that believing in the idea of “the one” is wrong or bad! Love looks and feels different for us all. 

Post # 30
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I definitely didn’t know he was “the one” on our first date, but I always knew he was a super sweet guy. 

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