(Closed) Did you keep change or hyphenate?

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 48
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m taking his last name and dropping mine. I never really considered doing anything else. I like the traditionality of it.

Post # 49
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Loribeth:  Wow. Interesting! I had NO idea certain states would not recognize or permit (without additional paperwork/expense) the type of name change (First Maiden Newlast) that I made.

Post # 50
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I haven’t changed it. I might later.  The only bummer part is that you are still a Ms. to the postal service but that’s fine with me. 

He wants me to change it but hes being nice about it.  Its my name so I get to pick if and when I’m ready.

Post # 51
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

At first I wanted to use hyphen for my new last name but it will be too long because I have a long surname and so does he.  It would be total of 20 letters + hyphen.  So I will use my last name as my middle (I never have a middle name) and use his last name as my new last name.

Post # 52
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m taking his.

I’ll be moving up in the alphabet!  Yay!

Post # 53
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MissTatas:  I’m doing this too!  I’m happy about this.  My sister thinks it’s uncomplicated and unnecessary, but I refuse to drop my maiden name and I’d like to go my FI’s name.  So I will have 4 names too!  That’s what will work best for me. 


Post # 54
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I haven’t had time to change my name yet, but I am planning to change it to his. I told him a long time ago that when I married him “I am all in” and that means changing my name!

Post # 55
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Taeyers:  There’s no need to be snarky. You’re right, I don’t agree with it, but I have not been rude to anyone. I’m just asking for clarity. So you shouldn’t be rude, either.

The thing is, everyone who says they want to be one family unit seems to automatically decide to do that by taking the husband’s name. But why? No one has answered that. It’s tradition, yes. But if men traditionally took the woman’s name, that would be what’s happening today. But because that’s not the case, no one is doing it (you can quote to me one or two people, I’m sure. But by and large, I have never come across a man who is willing to give up his name for his wife’s). Which I find sexist!

I just think some traditions could stand to be challenged.

Post # 56
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I took his name as my last name, but I moved my maiden name over to be my second middle name. I have four names on my ID, but only one last name. Darling Husband kinda hates it, but it’s my name, and it’s what I felt comfortable with.

Post # 57
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I took his last name

Post # 58
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@SupermarketGirl:  I didn’t think I was being rude, I was honestly wondering why you’re so upset about it. It’s easy to imagine rudeness when you’re reading an opinion different from your own. You seemed to be really worked up about an option that didn’t affect you and wasn’t being forced on anyone. How would you have phrased my question differently? You can challenge traditions all you want, but you seem to want women to just stop taking their husbands’ names, and I don’t think it will stop because some of us like to do it. There was a thread a while ago asking women whether they looked forward to changing their last names, and most of them were, often because they liked his name more. Men have done it too, but if they don’t want to, that’s not the fault of their wives, and I don’t see why you think women have to answer for ther husbands’ decisions. It almost seems like you think women who take their husbands last names and setting feminism back, and I don’t think that’s fair. 

Post # 59
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

@SupermarketGirl:  I changed my name because I wanted to do it. Maybe it has something to do with tradition, because I did grow up during a time that it was considered odd if a woman did not take her husband’s name, but that isn’t all of it.

When Darling Husband asked me to marry him, he wasn’t asking to become a part of MY family–he was asking me to become a part of HIS family. He wanted to share his name with me, and I feel incredibily honored that he wanted to share that with me, because he didn’t have to ask me to marry him. 

I love my husband, and giving up my maiden name to share his last name was not something I considered a sacrifice. I didn’t consider it an outdated tradition. I considered it an honor to share the same last name as the man I love above anyone else.  

I hope that explains why at the very least why THIS woman took her husband’s last name. 

Post # 60
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I kept my last name. I’m 100% happy with my decision. Darling Husband is 100% supportive.

Post # 61
6 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

I plan on changing my last name to his. I was thinking of hyphenating my name, but his last name and my first name are already really long together that a second last name would just be too much lol

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