(Closed) Did you know that you grind your teeth? Urgh……

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
855 posts
Busy bee

I would say you’re looking at this unrealistically.

He’s not pointed out a character flaw – he’s pointed out something that you do whilst you’re unconscious and unaware.

That’s a little different to your example of pointing something out to him that he is aware of and self consious of. But if you talk about things in your therapy that may help him, you absolutely should suggest it. Why would helping him hurt his feelings?

I grind my teeth at night. Always have done, I guess. My Fiance laughs at it and says it’s annoying, but it’s nothing I can really help and isn’t really a big deal.

I definitely think you need to work on the way you associate things with past issues. You’re not going through that patch again, and if I’m honest, I can’t even see why he would associate a comment like that from when he last said it years ago.

Post # 4
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t know that I grind my teeth at night until my dentist told me I did.  If my husband had been the one to point it out, I doubt I would have taken offense to it.  It isn’t like you’re doing it on purpose to annoy him, he’s merely pointing out something that you didn’t already know.  I wouldn’t get too upset at him about this, and I might even thank him & schedule a dentist appointment because there are things you can do to reduce/eliminate grinding.

Post # 5
9953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@weightwatchers152:  I think you are looking at this unrealistically, very much so.

Don’t you think he told you you’re grinding your teeth in your sleep because he loves and cares about you?  It’s not healthy for your teeth to be grinding them long term.  If he thinks it may be a side effect related to your meds, then maybe he’s right and it’s worth checking into.

I don’t understand why you’re hurt and upset that he told you something he thinks will help you. 

But, absolutely you should explain to him CALMLY why it upsets you, and then LISTEN CALMLY to his explanation for telling you about it. 

It seems as though you’re taking that he told you about the teeth grinding as an insult to you.  Why do feel that’s an insult to you?

Post # 6
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wait…what?  You’re upset he told you you grind your teeth?  Or are you upset about something else?  I’m confused.

I tell my Husband to please wake me up every time I’m grinding my teeth so I will stop.  It’s very bad for your teeth and I often wake up and spit out blood after a night of grinding.

He’s just trying to help you…you are definitely overreacting.  You should actually be thankful that he’s looking out for you.

Post # 7
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Sometimes grinding is so loud it wakes people up, and it definitely IS a big deal to know about and to have corrected. You can start breaking teeth and wearing them down, creating more issues for yourself than you might believe. You can have jaw pain and headaches and loose teeth from it, but you should be happy he told you so you can do something about it. This is not something to find insulting or to read more into except he felt you should know…and he is right.

Post # 10
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I WISH my hubby had told me that I was grinding my teeth– I would have been able to be a bit more proactive on my “issue”.


Now I have to wear a specially fitted mouth guard when I sleep.  I’ve worn away most of the enamel on my back teeth.  I have to be really really super anal about flossing every single day and my dentist is keeping an eye on my teeth, however, due to my years of teeth grinding, I will most likely have to get dentures someday.  That’s gonna be a given for me.


So look at this more positively, and please mention to your dentist that you are grinding your teeth.  it’s better to take care of this sooner rather than later.

Post # 11
8692 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. I’m sorry you’re hurt, but this is really a silly thing to be upset about IMO. I grind my teeth too and I wish my hubby was a lighter sleeper so he’d wake me up when I do it!

Post # 12
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry this is upsetting to you, but he is not telling you this to make you upset.  I actually ask my husband to tell me if I’m grinding my teeth at night because, like PP’s said, it’s really bad for your teeth/jaw, causes headaches, and most of us who do it are not aware that we do.  It sounds like your husband is just concerned about your well-being–I honestly can’t think of another reason he would be telling you this.

It would be one thing if you husband told you something like, Your skin is oily and you have nasty pimples, or You crack your knuckles all the time and it drives me crazy.  Teeth grinding is an unconscious, unhealthy habit that can be fixed and if not fixed, can cause more problems down the road.  Are you on Adderall or something that makes you jittery?  It could be causing it.

Post # 13
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, you are seriously overreacting. He isn’t telling you that you grind your teeth because he’s trying to get under your skin, upset you, make you feel like shit, etc. He’s telling you because you grind your teeth, and it is really bad for you. Grinding your teeth is typically a sign that something is wrong–usually stress. Most people don’t know unless someone tells them. I clench my jaw when I sleep when I’m stressed and wake up with awful headaches. I had to get a mouth guard to stop it.

Post # 14
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I grind my teeth too and have nightmares pretty much every night these days. It sucks, but that’s depression. During the day I usually do not so badly.

I wouldn’t get offended if I were you. Not any more than if he told you you had developed a bit of a limp or had gotten a scary looking mole on your back. I know you might have a bit of a stigma toward it since it can be associated with mental illness symptoms, but my dentist also said that a lot of people just do it, a lot of times because their teeth aren’t aligned correctly. It’s really nothing to be ashamed of.

Post # 15
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I realize that this is how you feel and you’re entitled to feel whatever you like but your Darling Husband was just telling you that out of concern not spite or to remind you of something bygone.  Sometimes it is hard to take criticism because most people go into defense mode; and, right now, I think that is the route you took – you got defensive.

Post # 16
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@weightwatchers152:  I am hurt, but I don’t think he understands why.

i’m not really sure i understand why either. grinding your teeth isn’t a character flaw- he was telling you because he is worried about your well being. grinding your teeth can be really bad for you! comparing this to his little quirks and saying “he isn’t perfect either” is like comparing apples to oranges. he isn’t criticizing you- it can’t be criticism if you aren’t even aware that you are doing it. poor guy.

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