(Closed) Did you know you're NOT supposed to bring gifts to the reception…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: I totally

    knew that it was an etiquette faux-pas.

    had no idea! Oops!

    I had no idea but would NEVER publicly admit it

    Cookies!

  • Post # 47
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    This is one of those things I think people get too worked up about (like guests having the nerve to so much as have a white ribbon in their hair). Every single wedding I’ve been to has had a gift table. Why is it so hard to organise a car or two to take gifts to someone’s home? It’s really not a big deal. Otherwise you’re expecting guests to pay for postage to your home, which is just an added cost. If I were expected to pay postage, that cost would come out of the money I’d spend on a gift.

    Post # 48
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    People say you should send the gifts before the wedding, but I think people have became use too having people bring them to the wedding they just added in the gift tables

    Post # 49
    Member
    2623 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t know if it’s faux pas, but in my experience at most weddings there is almost never a gift table, and most people tend to send the gift before or after the wedding, and bring a card to the wedding.

     Most of the time I never even go into the store as I just order a gift online. I think it just makes it easier for all invovled. I don’t have to lug a gift which is even more annoying if it’s out of town wedding and I am not driving. THe bride and groom don’t have to worry about what to do with it, or who would be in charged of the gifts.

    Post # 50
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Supposedly you are to bring the gifts to the shower and money to the wedding but I don’t think anyone follows that anymore. We had a ton of both at our wedding and loved it.

    And I have no idea what PP is talking about “at most weddings there is almost never a gift table,” I’ve probably been to 80 weddings in my life (seriously….really large extended family and lots of friends) and every single one of them had a gifttable., Even the ones up North, South and Midwest and one in Cali.

    Post # 51
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Oh and our friends that were coming from out town and flying on a plane mailed us our gift beforehand. Just ordered online and Macy’s sent it directly to us.

    Post # 52
    Member
    7382 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Another vote for it’s regional.

    If a couple is having a gift opening the next day that isn’t at their place, I think it makes sense for the gifts to be brought to the reception.

    As for being required to ship it to the home, I think that’s ridiculous that it’s considered a must.  Why is in store pick up considered rude?  If the couple is busy preparing for a wedding there’s a good chance they have to run off to fed-ex or whatever anyway, and most of the stores have better hours than shipping companies.

    Post # 53
    Member
    7382 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @oneofthesethings:  Sending a gift (mailing) can quite easily be as expensive as a gift itself.  I think most couples would prefer that their guests don’t spend half the gift cost on shipping.

    Post # 54
    Member
    3138 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    We had a gift table, and most of our guests brought presents and cards to the reception. My neice and nephew took care of securing the gifts upstairs in the tea room of our venue after everyone was seated.  Then we just packed them up and took them home with the help of a friend. 

    When my mom and dad were married, they had a HUGE gift table and everyone brought gifts to the reception. They opened a few of the gifts at the reception, and then they had people who were in charge of the gifts unwrap the rest and record who gave them what in their wedding book.  Then the gifts were put on display for all the guests to see. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    It’s definitely a regional/country specific thing. Here in NZ it’s very unusual (in my experience) to take a present to the reception. They have always been sent to the couples house, or to the bride’s parents. We are registered with a big department store here and they will send our presents to my parents whilst we are on honeymoon and when we return we will open them there.

    Post # 56
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @MissFireFlower:I’m excited that our venue has a way to deal with all the gifts without making anyone feel awkward. As people are coming into the reception and setting gifts on the gift table, once a few gifts pile up, they are taken by an attendant and placed in a “backstage” room.

    I like that! No giant pile of gifts making people feel bad for either bringing or not bringing a gift!

    Post # 57
    Member
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MissFireFlower:  Before wedding bee I did know that you weren’t supposed to bring a gift to the reception and have never done so.

    Post # 58
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I have never ever heard of this. Usually the bride and groom have someone transport the gifts to their house. 

    The only reason i dont like buying off the registry is because its a pain for me to get the gift to the wedding. 

    I think this is crap. 

    Post # 59
    Member
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Swizzle:  What’s wrong with shipping the gift to the couple’s home?

    Post # 60
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @AshleyR83:  Why would you add that additional expense when you can bring it to the reception?

    I honestly dont see the issue. I have been to tons of weddings and they have all had gift tables. Maybe its just where i am from i dunno. 

    Post # 61
    Member
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Swizzle:  Yeah it must be a regional thing.  If you’re balking at paying shipping expenses then it seems kind of cheap to me!  The gift will probably be in the range of 75 dollars to 100 so I don’t care if I’m paying an extra 5-10 dollars for shipping.  

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