(Closed) Did you know you're NOT supposed to bring gifts to the reception…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: I totally

    knew that it was an etiquette faux-pas.

    had no idea! Oops!

    I had no idea but would NEVER publicly admit it

    Cookies!

  • Post # 77
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @photogestelle:  Not everyone lives in a place where everyone will be driving.  Some people have their weddings nowhere near their homes.  Some people live in a city where most people will take cabs or public transit. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Lol, I see this is still a great topic… and going strong

    Let’s see if I can’t clear up some of the misconceptions that I’ve seen in replies.

    ETIQUETTE

    As I stated earlier, this whole concept of BRINGING or NOT BRINGING GIFTS whatsoever to the Reception is more of a regional / local custom than a set in stone Rule of Etiquette.  And is more dictated by circumstances, such as… WHERE one buys the gift in many instances… OR WHERE the Wedding is being held (ie Hometown vs Destination Wedding for example)

    TO –

    View original reply
    KatieLu:  you said,

    Supposedly you are to bring the gifts to the shower and money to the wedding but I don’t think anyone follows that anymore. We had a ton of both at our wedding and loved it.

    This info is not 100% accurate.

    From an Etiquette POV, it is true that Showers are for Gifts and NOT money.  But Weddings can be for whatever the Guest wishes to do… Boxed Gift, Money / Cheque in a Card, Gift Certificates… or even NO Gift whatsoever. 

    TO –

    View original reply
    Swizzle:  you said,

    I always give $200 when i attend weddings….you should always cover your expense and no doubt my Fiance and i will cost $200 for food and drink.

    Altho nice, this is not infact a Rule of Etiquette.  There is no requirement that one should “cover their plate” at a Wedding.

    TO –

    View original reply
    Nautigirl: and to others inquiring about SHIP TO ADDRESSES…

    The “norm” as per Etiquette is to send any Wedding Presents to the Bride’s Home or the Home of her Parents… this is usually determined based on WHO is hosting (such as the RSVP Reply Address)

    IF someone would prefer that the Gifts go elsewhere, then this is the kind of info that could be put on one’s Wedding Website (in the same discreet way that one would find to mention Gift Registry info on the Website)

    Store to Store Shipping where avaiable is definitely an acceptable way of forwarding Wedding Presents as well.

    TO –

    View original reply
    AB Bride:  – Thanks for fielding the Questions on SHIPPING IN CANADA in my absence from this topic

    YES folks, Canada Post and our Courier Companies CHARGE A FORTUNE !!

    A regular stamp here now costs $ 0.61 CDN, one to the USA $ 1.05, and for Internatiional $ 1.80

    A Parcel is CRAZY Money… and Courier Companies typically charge even more.

    You all would be no doubt shocked to discover that “the latest thing” in Canada is for us to actually have Internet purchased goods from the USA sent to a US Mailing Address (like a UPS Store… who in turn charge a HOLDING FEE)… just across the Border in America… and then we go over there to pick up our goods.

    This has come about because… currently the Canadian Dollar is stronger than the US Dollar (so our money buys us more), Many US Retailers WILL NOT ship to Canada, and those that do are having to deal with our EXPENSIVE Postal & Distribution Networks (an issue that isn’t about to change as I said earlier, BECAUSE of the fact that we have to provide extensive services across such a VAST Country with such a SCANT Population).

    The ability for Canadians to pick-up goods / parcels in the USA is a win-win for both us as Consumers, and Foreign Companies as a way to increase their customer base

    Seeing as most Canadians live in our biggest cities, and many that are aprox 100 Miles from the US Border… places like Saint John NB – Quebec City QC – Montreal QC – Ottawa ON – “the Southern Ontario Corridor” (Kingston thru Windsor ON) – Toronto & “The Golden Horseshoe” – Sault Ste Marie ON – Thunder Bay ON – Winnipeg MB – Regina SK – Calgary AB – Vancouver BC – Victoria BC… it makes sense for many of us to make a quick trip across the Border for Shopping & Errands.

    I infact, will be handling a lot of my Wedding Purchases this way…

     

    Post # 79
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    View original reply
    @mrsSonthebeach:  Exactly.

    There is nothing wrong with bringing a gift.  Gift = good.

    Post # 80
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I always bring a card, because I always thought “who wants to take a blender on their honeymoon” haha

    Post # 81
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I can’t believe so many people are arguing over this. Who cares…..

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Bringing gifts is totally common where I live. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    758 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @Pinkmoon:  same. 98% of my wedding gifts were brought to the reception. It was no problem at all to transport them even though my wedding was out of town. 

    If I ever went to a wedding and found out the bride/groom were offended that the gift I just spent a fortune on was brought to the reception, that would be the end of our friendship. Seriously. 

    I don’t get it. Every venue we looked at showed us where the gift table is usually set up. It’s THAT common here to bring gifts to the reception. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I feel like we should all just stop arguing about this and accept that it’s a regional thing.  It seems very common in some areas to bring boxed gifts to a wedding whereas in others, it’s considered rude.  Maybe there’s no “right” answer – it’s just different strokes for different folks! 

    Post # 85
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @AshleyR83:  I second that!

    Post # 86
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @This Time Round:  Thanks for the tips.

    So, in our case, where we are unlikely to have a wedding website, perhaps we’d be best to have our RSVPs go to my FMIL’s house. She’s close, and we could pop by every week to collect them.

    The topic ‘Did you know you're NOT supposed to bring gifts to the reception…’ is closed to new replies.

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