(Closed) Did you learn a lot about your SO after you were married?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

He’s sloppier than I thought, apparently he always cleaned before I came over. At least he let me keep my cleaning lady I hired for my old place when wedding planning stress got to be too much.  He can’t for the life of him put his toothbrush in the holder, he didn’t have one before so I guess laying it on the counter is ingrained in him.

Post # 4
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I haven’t really been surprised by anything, but we were also together for 5 years. We didn’t live together before we got married, though, and still no real surprises. I guess if I HAD to pick something, I’d say he spends more time playing video games than I realized!!

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re not married yet, and we’ve lived together for a while now. I thought I knew just about everything about him, but the other night I was saying how the caterer and I were planning a smores buffet for the wedding and he told me he hates smores. What?! Since when?! I make these oven smore bars things all the time, I guess he’s just always pretended to like them?! LOL! It’s a little thing, but it caught me off guard 😉

Post # 6
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Thankfully, no! We were together for about 3.5 years before we got engaged and we’d been living together most of that time. I feel that we still do learn little things about each other all the time, which is freaking awesome… but luckily he didn’t keep any big secrets from me and then drop ’em once we said our vows.  😉

Post # 7
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I watched that show too.  It was pretty jarring how much they didn’t know about each other, but then again, those couples were either together like 1 year, or LDR the whole time, and never lived together or even spent the night.  They just came off to me as so YOUNG.  It seemed like they were just starting to figure out how to communicate and problem solve with each other. 

Not to toot my own horn, but I have to figure Fiance and I will be starting out our marriage light years ahead of that stage, having been together a long time and lived together a decent stretch, and already been through some of life’s ups and downs together.  We learned a lot more about each other when we moved in, but since then it’s just been little discoveries here and there.  I imagine that’ll just continue after the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Like Bakerella, I live with my Fiance and occasionally learn very unexpected things. Like after I got all sorts of great baking stuff at my shower, I planned to bake him a bday cake (my fave thing to make) and he told me HE DOESN’T LIKE CAKE! Ah! I guess all the other times I made cake he ate it and thought it was fine but really wanted pie. Sigh.

Post # 9
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

mm, nothing too major. Just some little things. Like I learned he likes pick up trucks and Jeep Wranglers which really surprised me because he’s a city boy! We were LDR for 4 years before I moved in (though since we were LDR, he’d stay with me for about a week each time he’d come visit, and vice versa, though I did spend an entire winter break at his place once). Then we lived together for a year before actually getting married. Now we’re one day away from our one year anniversary lol Really though, no surprises.

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re getting married in 6 weeks, and I JUST learned that one of his wisdom teeth “didn’t grow in right,” and is stuck *inside his gums,* above his front teeth! weird.

ummm….??????

Post # 11
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Unless he changes, that won’t happen. We’ve been together for 6 years, have lived together for about 1 1/2, and talk about everything. We’re kind of an odd couple – we’ve always had our separate friends, but since we grew up together, we spend a lot of time together. Besides that, I’ve known him for nine years total now, which is just a little less than half of my life. 

Post # 12
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’ve been together nearly 5 years and have lived together almost 2 so no, there aren’t any real surprises at all. As a young couple, we have gone through many things that couples our age don’t usually go through and through this experience we have learned a lot about each other. It helped to make our foundation stronger.

Of course, you constantly learn about each other no matter how long you have been together and whether you lived together or not prior to marriage.

I personally think anything too shocking should signal a red flag. Some things were obviously overlooked then.

Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I just saw that episode last night and I think those were really extreme cases. 

Couple 1 = extremely religious and never even kissed until their wedding day (not that there is anything wrong with that, but definitely a non-common situation nowadays)

Couple 2 = long distance their entire 4 years and didn’t feel the need to talk about the basic things like money before the wedding (what did they talk about on the phone all that time?!)

The episode drove me a little nuts. Particularly when the wife from couple #1 asked PERMISSION to get a part time job and the husband responded “how do you think this will affect me? will i have to do housework?” UGH. 

Anywayyyyysss… I’ll be pretty surprised if I learn much new stuff after we’re married. We’ve been together several years, we live together, we share pets and finances, not too much will change for us. 

Post # 14
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

We didn’t live together before we were married, but there weren’t any huge shocking things once we got married and moved in together. It’s crazy that there are people who hide credit card debt and finances and things like that until after they’re married…like their SO won’t marry them b/c of their debt. They’re there to help you through things!

Post # 15
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We were together for 7 years before we moved in together and we set EVERYTHING straight beforehand. He told me he doesn’t do “heavy cleaning”, but he would hire a cleaning lady if I didn’t want to. I told him I don’t cook but I can wash the pots and pans and load the dishwasher if he cooked. He told me he’d hang up his wet towels if I put my water glass in the dishwasher instead of leaving it on the nightstand.

It was all about compromise, but now there’s no surprises! 

Post # 16
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’ve been together for 3.5 years, living together for 2.5 years and married for 8 months.  I really didn’t think I could be surprised or learn anything new about him but that wasn’t the case at all.  I learned A LOT about him this past weekend and almost none of it was good.  It wasn’t fun.  Fortunately it was just the first, of I’m sure many, “hiccups” and we will work through it.  As much as you think you know a person, there are often still things that haven’t yet been uncovered. 

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