Did you learn anything major after living with your SO that you didn't know befo

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

He usually won’t do chores unless specifically asked, like cleaning out the litter boxes or doing dishes.

He uses way too much toilet paper and subsequently clogs the toilet more than a normal person should.

He likes his coffee very strong and avoids using a coffee maker… he uses a French press or makes pour over coffee.

He takes longer to groom himself than I do. He has all sorts of shaving products, beard lube, mustache wax, special brushes… you name it, he has it. But he also usually looks much better than me!

He’s also very snuggly, which I love 🙂

Post # 47
Member
3790 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

DoubleD :  We are both really social and love going out and doing things. He was living in a big city with a ton of friends to call at any given moment, with an active night life and a bunch of friends who get together to play music (his passion). He moved back to the town he grew up in where all his friends either moved away or had children, where everything closes at 6pm, and no one to play music with. He spent most of his evenings and weekends by himself, with no one to call or anything to do. He said sometimes he just got in his truck an drive around just to get out of the house. It just breaks my heart thinking about it because I know how awful that feels (I think this upsets me more than it ever upset him lol)! We still sometimes hop in the truck and go for a drive just to DO something, but at least we have each other! 

Post # 48
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I knew that my SO was tidy because his house with his roommate was always quite clean, but had no idea how tidy. I had heard complaints from the roommate before but just assumed he was a slob. Turns out SO wants nothing less than an immaculate house. He cannot relax unless the house is spotless and we have to do the dishes exactly the moment we finish dinner or it will bother him tremendously. He vacuums daily because we have 3 cats who track litter and hair through the house.

Thankfully he does the majority of the cleaning, in particular, what I would deem to be unnecessary cleaning. But I’ll be honest, it has been a really hard thing for us because I have OCD…previously it was the cleaning kind (I grew out of it into intrusive thoughts instead) and seeing compulsive cleaning can be stressful for me. I like a tidy house too but not a model home.

I am wondering how he will adjust to having a baby in the house with the extra mess they make. He grew up with two perfectionist parents so really he had no chance lol. Anyway, we moved in 2 months into our relationship and it has been 3.5 years now so we’ve made it work. It wasn’t that shocking a discovery given that we were just getting to know each other anyway, but I don’t know how much of a glimpse I would have gotten at the cleaning having lived apart.

When we were not living together we never hung out during the week because he worked 60+ hour construction weeks and pretty much passed out after dinner every night and I lived across town. I was relieved that we still got to see each other, even just for dinner, while living together. (He works trades now and has Fridays off so thankfully he is no longer as exhausted all the time). 

Oh, I also learned that he is incredible at house decorating lol… we have lived in 5+ places together and each time we have thrown together a more “chic” look than the last. Everybody looks forward to the housewarming parties because we literally revamp the look each time.

Post # 49
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Marriage was never really discussed when we decided to buy a house. Not that it wasn’t an option but wasn’t required because we both just knew we wanted to be together. It’s only been in the last 6-7 months that we’ve dicussed marriage and will be engaged soon. 

I haven’t discovered any deal breakers and I am actually very happy with our situation. Like living with anyone it took alittle adjustment but overall it’s been great! 

Post # 50
Member
3590 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I learned very quickly that he just cannot spend an entire evening chilling out. He has to get at least one productive thing done every da, preferably more. It took some getting used to because I absolutely loooove being lazy and can easily spend an entire evening just vegging out.  When we first started living together I would feel really bad if I was being lazy while he was doing something productive, but over time I’ve gotten over that since he isn’t at all judging me and as long as I’m not sitting on the couch eating chips while the kitchen is an absolute mess and the dog hasn’t been for a walk, he doesn’t care if I want to spend an entire evening binging Netflix.

Post # 51
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

DoubleD :  I didn’t learn anything new that was important enough to know before getting married. It just confirmed that he is a gentle soul and we do match. However my mother didn’t live together before married and she wishes she had. My biological father was an abusive man and she never knew that side till after the fact. While they were dating, he was acting all sweet but it was all a facade. 

My grand-father never cohabitate before marriage with his first wife. They were happily married for many years. After she passed away, he started dating another woman. They moved in together only after their wedding and he found out all her lies and he felt it was too late to undo it. They eventually got divorce. 

Post # 52
Member
753 posts
Busy bee

He has a bunch more clothes and shoes than I do. 

Post # 53
Member
882 posts
Busy bee

thesecondwife :  Same. I learned that my Fiance has 86 pairs of socks and 11 orphaned socks.

Post # 54
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I learned a lot! We moved in after long distance dating for 1 year though. I honestly don’t know how people get married without moving in together first. We ironed many little things like division of bills, household duties, getting a joint account. I don’t regret it one bit. I think some women blame moving in with their SO for not getting a proposal after so many years. But honestly, that should have no bearing. If a man really wants to commit to you, he will. Plain and simple.

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