(Closed) Did you let your BF have free range of choosing the ring??

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We looked at rings together so that he could see what I liked. We narrowed it down to a few different options, and he chose from those. 

Post # 62
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

I’m just like you. I don’t think I’d be able to sit well with a ring he picked out for me if it wasn’t my style. I’m quite particular. I’m glad he listened when I told him I had to choose the setting myself!! I was pretty adamant about getting the Brilliant Earth petite vine setting. He was not ok with getting it online, so we went to a store together to customize a replica. Worked out well for both of us! 

Post # 63
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

Fiance was searching through my Tumblr because he knows I would post anything I found online that I liked and was compiling a GoogleDoc, he was going to get me an art deco ring when he was starting to think about proposing. I guess a few months later we were talking about wedding stuff (because we had been talking about marriage for about almost 2 years when I showed him a picture of me wearing a diamond ring – my late grandmother’s engagement ring that my aunt has been holding on to, to pass to me. I said “This is it, I want this ring.” I explained my aunt had it and that it had been my grandmother’s.  I have been wearing the wedding band from the set on my right hand for almost as long as we’d been seeing each other.

Easy peasy!!! He probably would have picked out a lovely ring…

Post # 64
Member
3802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I had no idea he was even ring shopping and hadn’t told him anything specific.

Post # 65
Member
1598 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
martinson18 :  Personally i would be anxious as well. At the end of the day i wouldn’t want to wear something I hated and was in a style that was nothing near what I would like. 

I didn’t choose my original e-ring that I was proposed to. My fiancé did some stealth snooping and knew I wanted rose gold and a solitaire, which is what he got me. He felt that it had to be something that I loved. Unfortunately it was faulty and had to be returned, my heart shaped e-ring was made together and custom. 

Why don’t you pin a list together that shows a variety of what you would love and let him choose from those? That way you won’t know what your getting but it’ll be based off something you would love. 

Post # 66
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
martinson18 :  Trust your instincts and insist on going shopping together! Yes, there’s meaning behind the ring, but this way you will also love it aesthetically! Why not enjoy it for multiple reasons?  Also, because I’m a grammar snob, I want to mention that in your title you say “free range” but you mean “free rein”.  The eggs I buy are laid by free range chickens, but giving free rein is about giving up control (like a horse back rider leaving slack in the reins).

Post # 67
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes proposal and ring were total surprise.

Post # 68
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Bwahahahah. My first ering chosen by my then BF (now DH) was a badly cut sapphire marquise, bowtie shaped, hot mess. My husband would go to work in his grubby BDUs (army camo pants) and tie-die shirt. His sense of style is a bit to *ahm* eclectic for me.  I don’t expect my husband to be a mind-reader. This whole idea that the asker, who likely knows nothing about jewelry and your style, will be able to magically get you something ‘perfect’ is pure romance-novel/movie creation. It puts men under unfair pressure and expectations and really only works if a recipient truly just does not care. If you are lucky, they ask a friend or mom for advice, but you’ll find that often is just as bad. Just search around this board for the number of people who hate their ering. I recently asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday, he said “I’d like a more durable tablet. I’ve been looking a X brand with some tweaking of their specs. Would you like me to send you the details?” (to which I gratefully said “yes” not being a computer expert). He’ll get exactly what he wants.How is a ring any different? You know your BF, so you need to figure out how to make sure you get what you want, not what he wants.

Engagement is about a promise. It is the promise that matters. That is where the surprise and emotion should be connected. The ring is just a symbol of that promise for YOU to wear. Your ring, your choice.  

Post # 69
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My whole proposal was a surprise and I wouldn’t change it for the world because everytime I think back to it, it really was so special how he planned/chose everything.  We never went ring shopping together.  I never went ring shopping period.  I knew I wanted a cushion cut on a diamond pave band in platinum.  We talked about it and I showed Fiance some pictures on Pinterest.  Honestly, I don’t think I could have picked out a better ring that reflects both of us.  My fiance also went to a very reputable, small, family-owned jeweler that he has been going to forever.  There’s not an ugly, poor quality item in the store and he showed the jeweler some pictures and worked in his price range.  Not exactly “free range” since he know what I liked and wanted, but he did technically pick it out alone.  

Post # 70
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

We never discussed an engagement, I never even went to a jewellery store with him. He bought something that he thought I would love and he was right

Post # 71
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Where I live the tradition is for him to pick the ring by himself, I can’t imagine me telling him what to get me or going ring shopping together. My Fiance asked me a couple years ago what style I liked and I told him I love halos, but that was it, he went and chose the ring he liked, so the proposal was a huge surprise for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He did an amazing job tho, I love my ring specially because he says that he knew it was the one when he saw it ^^ 

Post # 72
Member
961 posts
Busy bee

Partially. The only things I said years ago is that I wanted was something that sat up high and a lot of metal. The size of the stone did not matter.  Oh…I wanted a princess cut. So glad that part was ignored. 

Post # 73
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My Fiance asked me for inspo pictures…I sent him 3 and he went off and had it designed and made bespoke for me. It is absolutely PERFECT!! 😊 was nervous about letting go of the reins but I am so pleased I did! 

Post # 74
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My Fiance was nervous about choosing something I’d wear for the rest of my life so he really wanted my opinion. I told him I really liked ovals, cushions, white gold, but he couldn’t decide on what to get so we ended up choosing together and a completely different style than I ever imagined myself with. A beautiful three stone. He really liked the “past, present, and future” aspect.

Post # 75
Member
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

H, then BF asked in casual conversation what cut and setting I liked best. I think we were talking about friends’ rings. Other than that, I had no part in it. 

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