Post # 1
I had an interesting conversation a couple weeks ago with a sales rep from one of the telephone/internet company’s out here…
I mentioned that I had a fiance and will be moving to another town to live with him. “Oh, you two don’t live together?” Well, no. “Huh, Oh yeah… how do you think that’s gonna turn out?” whilst giving me a look that said, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” The conversation got even weirder from there yet… but I digress.
I know its very common to move in together before getting engaged, nevermind married. I was quite surprised that this random dude that has no idea who I am and what my relationship is like to totally judge me for not living with my Fiance before marriage. Really shows how times have changed…
I’m certainly not against it. Heck, my parents had me a year before getting married, and I have quite a few friends that live with their BF/GF’s. Circumstance has prevented Fiance and I from living together, not preference.
So, just out of curiosity, when did you start living with your DH/FI/BF?
Post # 3
Yeah, we lived together before we got engaged. I dont think I would have it any other way. Every one is different and has their own set of beliefs, so there is no cookie cutter way to do things. It worked for us though 😀
Post # 4
We aren’t. His family is 100% against it, even though everyone in my family lived together first. It didn’t really bother me, although there are lots of days I wish we were. I think in a few weeks I’ll be so happy that not only do I get to marry my best friend, but we will have this whole new experience together.
I’ve heard there are statistics that show if you live together first you’re more likely to get divorced…not sure at all how true this is (plus, hell it’s just a statistic!!!), but those days I wish we were living together I’m trying to just remember that 🙂
Post # 5
Fiance had been engaged once before, a few years before we met. She moved in with him shortly after they got engaged and all hell broke loose. So obviously he was all for living together before popping the question this time around.
Post # 6
He bought a house that we both moved into. We both knew that we were in it to win it and marriage was in our future. He proposed about a year and a half later and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Post # 7
I moved in with my fiance 3 months before we got engaged. We were only together 9 months total when he proposed, but I have known him since we were 4 yrs old 🙂
Post # 8
Moved in with my fiance 4 months after we started dating, I wanted to wait till we were at least engaged but those first few months living together were hell and I’m glad we got it over and done with 😉
Post # 9
we bought a house together before we were engaged! we both pretty much knew it would lead to marriage and we had to take advantage of the housing tax credit or we’d lose a great opportunity. We pretty much knew we would use the money from the tax credit toward the wedding/engagement preparations, so I wasn’t too worried.
Hubbs had been married before, and he had a stipulation that he wouldn’t marry again unless he lived with the person. I’d lived with several people I’d dated previously, so it wasn’t a big deal to me, but I always knew I’d never marry a person unless I lived with them first. IMO, there’s only so much you can learn from a person without living with them; habits and idiosyncracies are an important part of the marriage equation and should be addressed before the “I do.”
Post # 10
@travelerkate: I’m in a similar boat as you. Future Mother-In-Law is the one preventing us from living together… but not in a bad way! Without making this sound like my Fiance is a complete loser that can’t live on his own, he lives with Future Mother-In-Law in the family home. When Fiance decided to move back home and take over the family farm, Future Mother-In-Law and him decided that he would live with her again and when the time came that Fiance found a suitable wife and was ready to settle down, Future Mother-In-Law would move out and Fiance and said-wife (that’s me now!) would live in the house and yard.
Post # 11
We moved in together while we were just bf/gf and a little less then 2 months later got engaged. This worked best for us & I wouldn’t of had it any other way. Its really a personal decision and I dont think there is any wrong or right answer 🙂
Post # 12
I respect everyone’s right to decide what’s best for them. In my case, I have not lived with my SO, and will not, until married.
Post # 13
we actually lived together as soon as we started dating (we were living overseas and saved money that way) and now we’ve been long distance for 2 years… so we did things backwards! i mean, we know we get along living together and it’s not a preference thing either – just circumstances.
Post # 14
We both wanted to wait until we were married because that way it would be a new and exciting adventure to us, instead of just a weekend where we come home to what we’ve always done.
Post # 15
we didnt live together until after we marred and all good here
Post # 16
Nope. We didn’t live together til we got married.