(Closed) Did you live with your parents…

posted 11 years ago in Beehive
Post # 32
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - Ceremony at a cement and stained glass cathedral and reception at a boutique hotel ballroom

Yup! Mr. Eggie and I both lived with our respective parents until we were wed. I think it’s a cultural thing; our parents would’ve taken it as an insult if we didn’t live with them. They would’ve thought that we didn’t want to be with them so badly, we’d actually pay money not to. The whole independence/boundaries thing just doesn’t make sense to them.

Post # 33
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I got my own apartment right after graduating from college.  I had accepted a job offer, but hadn’t actually started work yet – so my folks helped out with the rent until my first paycheck.  My husband also never lived with his parents after college, although he generally had roommates rather than living alone.

We have two kids (his from his previous marriage) and we’ve discussed what we think is right for them – they are 18 and 21.  We’ve agreed that we expect them to move out when they are done with college and that, like my folks, we will help them a little with expense if necessary in order to make that possible.  They probably will have to have roommates, or if they don’t, they’ll probably live in tiny little apartments that aren’t that nice and without much furniture – just like we did.  And they’ll probably have to do without a lot of things (250+ channels, Tivo, ski vacations) just like we did. 

But we both think that the actual experience of being independent is pretty valuable.  For women particularly, I think it’s good to really know that you can take care of yourself and support yourself.  Once you know that you don’t really need a man for that, you can perhaps make different kinds of choices in a relationship.  And for guys it’s equally important to understand what it takes to keep a house clean, cook a real dinner, and all those other things that sort of magically got done by your mom. 

Plus, honestly, we want them gone.  I have all kinds of respect for those of you who have managed to live with your parents past the age of 20 and really make it work – you are obviously extraordinary women.  Both DH’s kids are good kids – they’re smart, funny, good students, and don’t get in trouble. But they are also self-absorbed, not that considerate, and with not a lot of respect for other people’s things.  We love them, but they aren’t good roommates – which is my basic criteria for sharing a house with another adult.  We’re hopeful that they act differently with people who are not their parents.

Post # 34
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I did – mostly. I really wanted to move out of my parents home and on my own, but rent was too expensive for me. But I still looked, and after breaking down the monthly damage with me (FI is the money savvy one), he told me to wait a year, and that he promises to move in with me – knowing that I didn’t want to move in with him until AFTER we’re engaged.

But what ended up happening was he moved in with me and my parents 5 months before we got engaged. And he proposed 1 week after we moved into an apartment together. 

I think everything worked out perfectly. My parents are pretty cool and understanding – but, I think they already considered him family…we have dated for almost 8 years now! 

Post # 35
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Pier Sixty, Chelsea Piers

I lived on my own and with roommates for a few years and then moved back to my parents’ when I started to save to purchase an apartment. Mr. C and I got engaged, so we were both saving for our apartment… and the most logical solution was to both move in with my parents. We had separate bedrooms! And my parents were still uncomfortable with us living together until we were officially married!

Post # 36
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I live with my mom. My son and I moved back home with my mom after my dad passed on. I have always said that I was not going to live with another man until I was married and to be honest it is only because of my boy. So after I am married I will still be living with my mom and hoping that my then husband will change his mind and move in with us. See we cannot get a house until June due to the mortgage we are getting, and we are getting married in May. So I hope all works out well for us! 

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