(Closed) Did you live with your SO before you got married?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you live with your husband-to-be before you got married?

    yes, and our parents weren't happy about it

    yes, and our parents didn't mind

    no, we're voluntarily waiting til we're married

    no, because we're long distance

  • Post # 77
    Member
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I am living with my Fiance. We have lived together off and on for 6 years but finally settled again haha 

    Nobody cares or cared and quite frankly, I could never marry someone unless I lived with them first. I couldnt even get engaged to someone without living with them first either………People are different when you move. You learn habits and quarks. People change. I would need to make sure I can actually live someone that I already love before I commit my life to them.

    Post # 78
    Member
    1889 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Yes, and parents didn’t mind.  I think we had been together a year before we actually rented a place with both our names on the lease, but pretty soon after we started dating, we were staying together either at my apt or (usually) his place every night.

    Post # 79
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We moved in together about a month after dating. We just couldn’t stand to be apart plus at the time it was only about a 5 min drive to work for both us. His mother was thrilled. She was just beyond happy he finally found a good girl. My mother on the other hand, not so much. I think if we had waited more than a month, it would have been fine and she would have been okay. But it took her a year into us living together to finally accept that he was a good guy. So we’ve lived together over 2 years now and it’s been the best decision we ever made.

    Post # 80
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    we didn’t because of long distance (and military). but we talked about living together before getting married and when he got out of the military (when marriage was something we thought we’d wait longer for).

    my parents don’t really like the idea of living together before marriage, but they also see the benfits of it too. when my brother and his girlfriend moved in together they (mostly my mom) were very upset, but i think it had more to do with the fact that my brother sprung it on them out of nowhere, while his girlfriend’s mom was very involved in the whole process.

    when i mentioned to my mom that my husband and i were talking about living together first, she was surprised, but not mad. she’s said that she wishes she and my dad had lived together first, so she could see what she was getting herself into.

    Post # 81
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We lived together for most of our relationship. I think his parents preferred we waited, but we’re both in our 30’s. They got over it.

    Post # 82
    Member
    11500 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    We did not live together prior to marriage. 

    Not only were we long distance for our entire relationship, but also our beliefs are such that we would not have ever wanted to live together before we were married.

    What’s kind of humorous (in hindsight, certainly not at the time) is that we only were able to live together part of each week for almost the entire first year of our marriage, since I had to keep working in my city/state until I could sell my house and quit my job and relocate to be with my DH full time.

    Post # 83
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

    He just moved into my place in November of last year on the agreement that we would be getting engaged very soon. We have been dating 4 years and will be living together a little over 1 year by the time we get married (if our wedding timeline holds true). So… about 5 years total overall 🙂

     

    Post # 84
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @lealorali:  Yes. I owned my home, he was renting an apartment. We had been together about 14 months when he moved in. Our parents didn’t say anything. We are older (Im 29, he’s 28) and are both financially independent from our parents and have been since we graduated college 6-7 years ago. Neither one of us have lived i our parents house since we left for college in 2001 (me) and 2003 (him). We are both successful in our careers and live hours away from our parents. We felt it was our decision of what we wanted to do with our living situation since we are not reliant on our parents in other parts of our relationship.

    Post # 85
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We moved in together full time unofficially 7 months after we got together and moved in together officially when we bought a house together at 10 months. Our parents helped us move in and, from what I can tell, were pleased that we were living together before diving into getting married.

    Generally it’s seen as more responsible here to have lived together first. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We didn’t live together until we were married. We went to the same college and both stayed in the dorms, so no males & females living together allowed (at least at the university we went to). We had to be out of each other’s dorm by midnight, lol. 

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