(Closed) Did you lose friends by getting engaged/married? (Venting)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
9479 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I did, but mainly because they were guy friends and they all liked me.  It sucks, but I guess things happen for a reason.  I was never really friends with girls so I can’t say anything about them.  My one girl friend is a lesbian and I’m pretty sure she had a thing for me.  She’s pretty much upset I’m engaged to her arch nemisis (not really, but we joke around about it).  They used to work together and Fiance is a ball buster.  She’s an easy target when it comes to that so she hates him for it.  Hah.  Oh well.

Post # 33
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is happening to me, and I’m OVER IT. I am 33, and my friend the ex bridesmaid is 24. All of her friends (from high school) married in the last year. She was in 5 weddings last year as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when I got engaged…at 32?!

She is one of those “friends of convenience”..meaning she always borrows money, needs a ride, etc etc. We put up with this because WE LOVE HER. We’ve had long talks about getting her life together. She just wants two things-to get married and stay home.Which is what I do now, so maybe that was another straw….

She was dating this loser that lied to her about his income, she cheats on him, she has even asked who at my wedding she can “hook up with if he doesn’t come” …she complains about him not being rich, etc etc. My friend (other bridesmaid, 34 years old) and I always try to tell her to learn from our experiences (we are older and wiser? maybe…) and not to rush into things, you have your whole life, etc etc. Now they are engaged. Big surprise.

She said things during my early wedding planning like, “you’re not having dancing? What is the point of us coming? Are we even going to drink?”

She stopped talking to me right after she got engaged. (she didn’t call me to tell me she even got engaged!! I saw it on fb of course) She ended up telling our mutual friend (my closest friend, the other BM) that I am “not in her wedding because I live so far away”. Up until then she was my bridesmaid!! She was in my wedding!! Finally she put a lame post on my fb saying she had a dream I actually called her and she knew that would never happen..what? Just text me back or call me..I thought that was weird..so I said, haha I had a funnier one that I was in your wedding…joking..maybe passive aggressively..but whatever, my feelings were hurt!! Then she UNLEASHES on me on fb. Get that out of here, girl. I deleted it because I won’t put up with childish stuff..I mean FIs entire family is on there. So then she unfriends me on fb..starts ranting about me on twitter. I block her on fb because it’s so ridiculous. I unfollow her on twitter before I realize she is still following me..I have to block her! She is still ranting, weeks later…everyday something about my “age” and how I should be “mature”..(our mutual friend reports this) 

Maybe it was there all along and I kept on giving her chances? Better to thin them out now then a week before the wedding..but still…OUCH!!

Post # 34
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I did. I had a good friend, who loved wedding relayed things as much as I did. Then I got engaged. I think she became jealous, and she just started becoming really rude. We don’t talk now.

Post # 36
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honey, you just outgrew them.  Now it’s up to you whether you want to feel bad for that or move on to the next part of your life. 

Post # 37
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@mrsSonthebeach:  Ew….she sounds like a total douche.

Post # 38
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I lost one friend and grew apart from a few others. The friend in question was a drama queen at times, but also a really fun person, until we graduated college and she got bored. I happened to work with her after college, and she started to obsess over her lack of a boyfriend, her lack of a career direction, and basically kept telling me she just wanted to get married and have babies.

I was single as well, and not too bothered by it. Yes, I wanted to get married and have a kid or two, but it was not something I worried about. She was always trying to get me to date mutual friends and acquantainces because she thought I was a prude.

Eventually, I agreed to a date with one of her friends. We ended up dating seriously in a long-distance relationship, and found we were unexpectedly perfect for one another. We never knew because… well the same mutual friend had seriously skewed our personalities when she talked about us. From the moment she found out that we had gone on more than 3 dates, the drama started.

She immediately told her best friend (who was his ex from high school and apparently still liked him) that we were “serious” and then told me that she didn’t like having to choose between two of her best friends, but the other girl was her choice. THEN she started trying to turn all our mutual friends against me. It was a rough couple of months, but thankfully she got another job, and I moved to go to school.

Honestly? I think she was super-jealous that I was in a relationship with a great guy, and she had a thing for my Fiance once upon a time (found this out later). Girl was CRAZY and I’m just glad I found out waaay before I got engaged and have not talked to her since. Good riddance!

 

 

Post # 39
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is a great thread.  Not that it’s great that so many people have issues with this, but good to see that you are not along!!!  I think no matter how old you are, SOME people are just caddy, jealous and self centered and it takes an event such as a wedding (funerals, illness, etc can do it too!) in order for the truth to come out.  I have pretty much lost 2.  One stopped talking to me since I didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid and one was a bridesmaid and has pretty much alienated me from her “single” life. Crazy, but it happens and you just have to move on. 

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