Post # 1
I recently got married and kept my last name. This is definitely a rarity in my family and circle of friends. All of my adult bridesmaids are married, and all took their husband’s names, as have all of the married women on both sides of my family. (What can I say, I’ve always been different. LOL)
I’ve also seen bees say that they work in a profession or come from a family/culture where women do not tend to change their names. So what about you? Did you make the same decision as others in your family/group of friends (whatever that decision that may be), or did you go against the grain?
Post # 3
I’ve never personally known a woman who kept her maiden name. Every married woman I know has taken her husbands name or went the hyphen route. Honestly, keeping my maiden name never even crossed my mind. I always knew I would take my husbands name. I guess it’s just what we do. 🙂
Post # 4
Just about all of my friends and family took their husbands name. Off the top of my head, the only person I can think of who kept her maiden name (besides a few people I know from work) is my aunt, who got married 22 years ago.
Despite this fact, I have yet to hear negative comments (at least to my face) about me keeping my name. Even DH’s family, who is far more traditional and conservative than mine, seems fine with my decision.
Post # 5
I agree with CaitMarae, not changing my last name never even came to mind. I’m big on tradition, as is my family and friends. …I’m also super excited to get rid of my last name (I’m not a fan of my dad’s family and would like to not have the same last name)
Post # 5
As far as I know, everyone in my family did the tradition drop their last name/take his last name. Same with all my friends, except my Maid/Matron of Honor. Both she and I took our husbands last names, but dropped our middle rather than our last, and now use our maiden names as middle names.
Post # 6
It is very common among my friends and colleagues for women to keep their last names. My mom changed her name the first time she married (to my dad), and then kept that name when she remarried, since it was my name by then, and she had developed her professional identity under it.
It’s less common in my FI’s family – I’m pretty sure all of them take their husband’s names. But they were great – they actually asked my Fiance what our names would be after the wedding, rather than just assuming I would be taking his last name.
So yeah. I’m keeping my name, which is the norm among most people around me, but definitely not the norm for the culture at large.
Post # 7
I’m going against the grain by hyphenating. My family and the women I grew up around tended to either keep their maiden names or change completely, and my friends seem to be mostly doing the same, with a few exceptions — a couple of hyphenations, a couple of Herfirst Herlast Hislasts, and a few more unique situations, like a husband and wife who both took both names and a couple who made up their own totally new last name. I don’t think there’s anyone else in my family with a hyphenated last name.
Post # 8
Everyone I know has changed their last name, with the exception of one friend that hyphenated. I’m still trying to decide whether to just keep my last name or hypenate, but I’m not going to outright change it. FI’s family will most likely be the only ones that have a problem with it.
Post # 9
I’m going against everyone else and taking my mothers maiden name or ‘creating’ a new last name that no one else will have… No one in my family has done that and I don’t have many friends so I’m not sure what they plan to do.
Post # 10
The vast majority changed their last names. Oddly, many people asked me if I was changing it–maybe because I’m an older bride?
I use my husband’s name socially, so many friends/family don’t even know I didn’t change it.
Post # 11
@UpstateCait: that’s the exact same for me
Post # 12
For me it’s a 60/40 split. Abuot 60% of the people I know changed their name and the other kept theirs. I only know one hyphen and that’s FI’s mom. I’m keeping my name and that’s not uncommon in our circle. Although I am trying to convince Fiance for both of us to change our name to something new. So far he’s not biting.
Post # 13
My husband and I are combining our names to create a new one.
Post # 14
@mightywombat: That’s awesome that they asked what you were doing instead of just assuming. Most of our guests that gave us cards or checks (and one that gave us a monogrammed towel) assumed I was changing my name.
ETA: Don’t get me wrong, I’m still super-grateful for all those gifts, regardless of what they called me!
Post # 15
I changed my name for my first marriage because it wasn’t as common then to not do so, and I have no relationship with my father and couldn’t wait to get rid of my unusual last name.
I loved my exhusbands last name, and even though it’s easy to spell, it was very uncommon – if you type it into Facebook, only my exhusband, his wife, his brother and me show up!It was often pronounced wrong, but I still loved it. My career started with that name and I really didn’t want to lose the credibility I had built with that name.
I reluctantly took my maiden name back only because there was going to be a new mrs. so and so the DAY AFTER our divorce and I just couldn’t deal with that. Thankfulyl I moved 2000 miles away, so it didn’t really affect my career.
Changing my name was never really a decision I had to struggle with, Ican’t wait to get rid of my last name. FIs is super common, but maybe for once in my life I won’t have to spell it or say it for people 😉