(Closed) Did you make the same last name decision as most of your friends/family?

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve never personally known a woman who kept her maiden name. Every married woman I know has taken her husbands name or went the hyphen route. Honestly, keeping my maiden name never even crossed my mind. I always knew I would take my husbands name. I guess it’s just what we do. 🙂

Post # 4
2443 posts
Buzzing bee

Just about all of my friends and family took their husbands name. Off the top of my head, the only person I can think of who kept her maiden name (besides a few people I know from work) is my aunt, who got married 22 years ago. 

Despite this fact, I have yet to hear negative comments (at least to my face) about me keeping my name. Even DH’s family, who is far more traditional and conservative than mine, seems fine with my decision.

Post # 5
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with CaitMarae, not changing my last name never even came to mind. I’m big on tradition, as is my family and friends. …I’m also super excited to get rid of my last name (I’m not a fan of my dad’s family and would like to not have the same last name)

Post # 5
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

As far as I know, everyone in my family did the tradition drop their last name/take his last name. Same with all my friends, except my Maid/Matron of Honor. Both she and I took our husbands last names, but dropped our middle rather than our last, and now use our maiden names as middle names. 

Post # 6
5092 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is very common among my friends and colleagues for women to keep their last names.  My mom changed her name the first time she married (to my dad), and then kept that name when she remarried, since it was my name by then, and she had developed her professional identity under it.

It’s less common in my FI’s family – I’m pretty sure all of them take their husband’s names.  But they were great – they actually asked my Fiance what our names would be after the wedding, rather than just assuming I would be taking his last name.

So yeah. I’m keeping my name, which is the norm among most people around me, but definitely not the norm for the culture at large.

Post # 7
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m going against the grain by hyphenating. My family and the women I grew up around tended to either keep their maiden names or change completely, and my friends seem to be mostly doing the same, with a few exceptions — a couple of hyphenations, a couple of Herfirst Herlast Hislasts, and a few more unique situations, like a husband and wife who both took both names and a couple who made up their own totally new last name. I don’t think there’s anyone else in my family with a hyphenated last name.

Post # 8
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Everyone I know has changed their last name, with the exception of one friend that hyphenated. I’m still trying to decide whether to just keep my last name or hypenate, but I’m not going to outright change it. FI’s family will most likely be the only ones that have a problem with it.

Post # 9
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m going against everyone else and taking my mothers maiden name or ‘creating’ a new last name that no one else will have… No one in my family has done that and I don’t have many friends so I’m not sure what they plan to do.

Post # 10
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The vast majority changed their last names.  Oddly, many people asked me if I was changing it–maybe because I’m an older bride?

I use my husband’s name socially, so many friends/family don’t even know I didn’t change it.

Post # 12
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

For me it’s a 60/40 split.  Abuot 60% of the people I know changed their name and the other kept theirs.  I only know one hyphen and that’s FI’s mom.  I’m keeping my name and that’s not uncommon in our circle.  Although I am trying to convince Fiance for both of us to change our name to something new.  So far he’s not biting.

Post # 13
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband and I are combining our names to create a new one. 

Post # 15
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I changed my name for my first marriage because it wasn’t as common then to not do so, and I have no relationship with my father and couldn’t wait to get rid of my unusual last name.

I loved my exhusbands last name, and even though it’s easy to spell, it was very uncommon – if you type it into Facebook, only my exhusband, his wife, his brother and me show up!It was often pronounced wrong, but I still loved it.  My career started with that name and I really didn’t want to lose the credibility I had built with that name.

I reluctantly took my maiden name back only because there was going to be a new mrs. so and so the DAY AFTER our divorce and I just couldn’t deal with that. Thankfulyl I moved 2000 miles away, so it didn’t really affect my career. 

Changing my name was never really a decision I had to struggle with,  Ican’t wait to get rid of my last name.  FIs is super common, but maybe for once in my life I won’t have to spell it or say it for people 😉

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