(Closed) Did you make the same last name decision as most of your friends/family?

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 31
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@PinkMagnolia:  That’s exactly why my husband and I combined our names- we didn’t want our kids to have a different name than one of us.  I do feel kinda bad that it’s going to be a little long (no hyphen though, so that helps a little), but at least it’s pretty cool (both of our last names have actual obvious meaning).    =)

Post # 32
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Miss Pinup: seriously? You were “miffed” when you saw ladies wanting to keep their own name? Ugh, people can be so closed minded sometimes….

I am keeping my last name because it just suits me. I don’t think anyone that knows me is surprised, they all assumed I would keep my name.  hen my fiance and I talked about it he was surprised I even considered changing my name. He says he is supportive of my decision either way.

I have no problem either way 🙂 I think it’s great that women want to take their husbands name and I think it’s great that women want to keep their own last name.  It really just depends on the person!!

Post # 33
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am going against the grain of both of our families and I will not be changing my last name. I love my maiden name, it is a wonderful gift from my father and I intend to keep it all the days of my life.  Many of you have said that not changing your last name was never even a thought in your mind and for me changing mine was never an option. I will and always will be a “my madien name” I am just marrying a “his last name”.

Post # 34
Member
4335 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just about everyone I know changes her name when she gets married, as will I. The biggest exception is my sister-in-law, and one of my aunts goes by her maiden name.

Post # 35
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

My mother was married almost 20 yrs before she changed her maiden name. Growing up those everyone referrered to her as “Mrs. MyDadsLastName”. I never even knew until I was older that my mother didn’t have the same last name. I guess for that reason, even if you keep your maiden name noone pays attention to it once you have a family. I do not know any other woman that kept her maiden name. I never even thought about not changing it, although I used to tease my husband and say that I was keeping my maiden name.

Post # 36
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I kept my maiden name which is common in asian cultures.  although when my mother and aunts all immigrated here, their last names were automatically changed to their husbands as that was the norm back then in north america.

in hubby’s family, everyone changes their last name.  of my friends, majority have changed their last name.  and my sister is the only hypenated last name in our family.

Post # 37
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m keeping my name ass a second middle and using it as an unhyphenated double last name on everything but offical things. FH’s last name is very common while mine is very not- my cousin with the same last name as me, who married someone with FH’s last name, did the same thing. Everyone else has taken their husband’s last name as their only.

Post # 38
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m unusual everyone I know has NOT taken hubbies name. I am the only one who plans to.

Post # 39
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Knubbsy-Wubbsy:  How funny that you and your cousin are marrying people with the same last name (they’re not related, are they?) and that you’re doing the same thing with your names!  =)

Post # 40
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think I read in Slate a few years ago that the vast majority (more than 80%) of women drop their maiden name nowadays. Apparently the practice of keeping your maiden name peaked for college-educated women in the 90s and it’s been fading away more and more every year. Obviously it’s pretty regional though.

The circles I run in are even much more traditional than that, we’re at 100%, including me. I don’t mind, though, I love FI’s name!

Post # 41
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

even my own mother was shocked that i kept my maiden name – changing it is something i never even considered doing to be honest. i was shocked when my nephews wife changed hers as shes so anti establishment that i thought she would keep it but im in the minority

Post # 42
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Ambrocked- I meant ‘miffed’ as in surprised, wrong choice of words sorry. I never realised people actually kept their maiden name, as I have never known anyone to do so.

@crayfish- I never said it offend me or implied it, all I said was that I don’t know anyone who has kept their maiden name so I don’t really understand it/ can’t relate to it. Why would you surname choice ‘offend’ me? Thats absurd.

@Natbug21- Because I am taking my FIs last name doesnt make me close minded thankyou, it means I want to identify myself with my Fiance and our son.  If you can’t understand that not everyone is able to relate to your decision of not changing your last name then you need to open your mind a little bit and realise that yes, everyone is different- as I said in my precious post. Ugh… I never said said I didn’t agree with what you’re doing

Post # 43
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Miss Pinup:  Gotcha.  Thanks for clarifying!  =)

Post # 44
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am definitely not making the same decision as most of my family and friends.  In fact, I am not close with anyone else who kept their own name after marriage.  I have gotten a lot of surprised reactions, but once I explain most people are accepting of it.  It was a really hard decision for me, but in the end I decided I had to do what makes me and my husband comfortable, and not worry about what anyone else thinks.  It has definitely not been the easiest path, though!  But totally worth it 🙂

Post # 45
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m still a waiting bee, but my SO and I have discussed this many times and we both agree 100% on it.  I refuse to change my last name, not because I particularly care for it and it’s super popular in Canada, rather I guess you could label me as a feminist, and I feel like changing my name would result in me loosing my identity, plus I don’t care for how the tradition started.  I love when I hear of other women keeping their last names, haha.  I just feel like men don’t have to go through all the hassle to change anything.  My SO and I don’t want children either, so that’s not a problem.  He also said he would feel weird if I changed it!

I actually know more people that have kept their maiden name then changed it. My SO’s mom has her maiden name too.

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