(Closed) Did you make the same last name decision as most of your friends/family?

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 46
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Most people I know (friends and family) changed their last name, and I did too. Some friends I were planning on it and go by their husband’s name socially, but really were too lazy to change it legally. And my SIL did change her name, but not on facebook b/c she doesn’t want work people to find her there.

Post # 47
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Fall_In_Love22: tritto and then some.

Never occured to me.

I dont have an attachement to my old name.

BUT I feel like its an honor to my new family. There are lots of traditions and I love them all. I like getting stockings full of stuff on Xmas from my mom even though I am 29. Does it make sense? Nio, but I love it.

I love eating BBQ on 4th of July? Does it make sense? No, but I love it.

Traditions don’t have to make sense, but I love that it honors history and people at the same time.

Even if my job was based on my name, I would use one name professionally and another socially.

There are tons of traditions that make no sense and started with bad intentions.   Hey thanksgiving was in honor of one Native American tribe that helped us survive, but only after we helped attack with guns another tribe that had nothing to defend ‘t themselves but arrows. It was genocide. I dont stop celebrating Thanksgiving. Its about the feeling around it, not the reason is started.

Post # 48
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am adding FI’s last name to the end of mine but im not going to hyphen it just have 2 last names with no hypen.

so i will be (FIRSTNAME) (MIDDLENAME) (MYLASTNAME) (HISLASTNAME)

It is going to be a long name but I dont want to give up my last name…

but i did have a few friends tell me the other day that it was sooo rude i was doing it that way and that it was a HUGE slap in the face to Fi.

Post # 49
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Ambrocked: Their families are in the same area but not related- that would be too weird. The last name is in the top 3 in the nation.

Post # 50
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Miss Pinup: I actually never stated that you were close minded for taking your FIs last name, thank you.  If you would have read my post you would have seen that I was calling you close minded for being “miffed” at other ladies wanting to keep their maiden name.  Now, in your defense you thought “miffed” meant surprised. “Miffed” actually means pissed or something similar along the lines of being upset.  So, if you were generally just surprised then that makes sense, as some woman honestly don’t often hear of women keeping their maiden name.  Also, if you would read my previous post it says that I have talked with fiance about changing my last name, so I am obviously NOT against changing your last name. I can totally understand wanting to change you last name, and once again read my previous post and you will see that I specifically said i thought it was great women wanted to have the same name as their FH.  I grew up in a very open minded, non judgemental home, so the fact that you are calling me close minded does not even phase me.  I know who I am and I am completely confident in my ability ot be open minded and accept others view points.  If all you honestly meant by your post was that you were surprised by women wanting to keep their maiden name, then I apologize.  But, maybe next time you should be more careful in the words you choose to describe your feelings.

Post # 51
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 It’s never occurred to me to change my name. Not ever. I just can’t imagine a reason for it. I’m still surprised when my friends hesitate over changing their names, though I’d say around 70% have done ultimately gone through with it. One girlfriend even called me crying prior to the name change (her 2nd) because she dreaded it but ended up doing it anyway. I don’t understand why it would be even a consideration – and certainly not if you were distressed about it. The vast majority of men I know seem to expect it, as do the women I work with, but the women my age (35) and younger, and the pre-Boomer generation seems surprised (though not upset) with my “modernity.” And their surprise makes me a little sad. What’s so modern about keeping your own name? Men do it all the time.

Post # 52
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Everyone I know kept their maiden name!

 

Post # 53
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I kept my name, and that is definitely the less common choice among the people in my life. 

My mom has a number of longtime friends who kept their names, so I grew up at least knowing that it was an option. But all of my married female relatives and married friends have changed their names. The same goes for all of DH’s married female relatives.

I love DH’s last name, but I just wasn’t comfortable with the thought of giving up mine. Hyphenation was out because our names are too long. Darling Husband actually likes the fact that I’ve kept my name, but I know some people think it’s weird. Because I know so few people who have made the choice I have, I definitely feel alone in it sometimes.

Post # 54
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Most people I know Hyphenate, I’m taking his last name.

Post # 55
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I haven’t decided yet what I’m doing.  I will either hyphenate or take his last name completely.  Everyone I know though pretty much has taken their husband’s last name.

Post # 57
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I haven’t changed mine yet and I’m super torn about it.  Everyone in my family has taken the husbands last name if they actually married them (most of my cousins did not marry their SO’s and most are still happily together).  I think one person did the hyphen.  Most of the women I know took the name but in school I had a few professors who did not.

Post # 58
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

no. Actually my older sister and my mother kept their names. My mother somehow manged to have all three of her girls have her last name rather then my fathers they are still married today. I’m changing my name. Its what I want. We live in country where we have the CHOICE to change our names when we get married. Thats really what changing my name means to me. That and Fiance has a kick ass last name. 🙂

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