Post # 1
My date night on Saturday was lovely however, no proposal :'(
I am getting to the point of thinking ‘do I need the proposal to get married?’ he’s already said he wants to set a date for August 2016 and up until now I have been uncomfortable with the idea of setting a date before getting engaged. He knows this as we’ve had many discussions about it!
Now I’m thinking we should just set a date and get it done, I am not excited about getting married anymore, the idea of getting engaged doesn’t seem to fill me with happiness like it used to.
my deep down thoughts on this are: if he doesn’t propose soon, I will just forget about the whole idea! I’ve made a pact with myself not to talk about weddings/marriage anymore and I’ve been good for 2 weeks, if he mentions it I just acknowledge it and don’t say much about it!
anyone been in this situation? Did you put a timeline on things? Did it work?
Post # 2
If u set a wedding date idk that he will think he needs to propose. This reminds me of prom when your dating someone so they think that they don’t have to ask you because u already talked about going together
Post # 3
Why don’t you just tell him you want him to propose? No proposal=no wedding. If this is the man you’re going to marry you should be able to talk about anything and always have open communication. If it means that much to you, then make that clear to him.
Post # 4
Aren’t you engaged if he (and you) have a date set?
Post # 5
I’ve told him he needs to propose otherwise it’s not going to happen, I feel uncomfortable setting a date without a proposal, in my eyes he should want to propose! Like the beyonce song- if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it!
its not like I’m in a rush to get marries cause we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together anyway, I just don’t understand why he thinks it’s okay to set a date before proposing! When I’ve asked him his answer is well why not!
before he left for qwork this morning I told him when the children go to bed tonight we need to talk and he replied with yes, I agree we need to talk!
Post # 6
You definitely should talk. He needs to understand where you are coming from, because even I am having a hard time thinking that he has not proposed. If all you want is a ring to complete the deal, then you need to convey that to him. For some people proposal does not equal ring. I am confused and can see why he might be too.
Post # 7
I set a loose timeline. I told myself (before I started dating now DH) that I would not date anyone for longer then 2 years if things were not progressing aka we were planning a wedding. I’m 30 so I didn’t want to waste time. So when I met DH I told him my thoughts. He said he respected them so we continued dating. Further along in the relationship, he started talking about “our wedding”. I participated in those conversations a little bit but after he brought it up a couple times I told him “no wedding talk until there is a ring on my finger” I consider myself traditional and didn’t want to let him get away with stringing me along or him “not buying the cow when he was getting the milk for free”. So the wedding talk stopped completely and he ended up proposing about 2 months before our 2 year anniversary. I don’t think I would have abruptly left exactly on our anniversary but there definitely would have been a talk making sure we were both on the same page!
Post # 8
I made sure to get SO and I on the same page. I’m not engaged yet but have been promised a proposal by the end of the summer. I have some personal and school related reasons and I want to get married my spring break 3rd year ( med school, not undergrad). He very much understands my reasoning and we worked things out together. I’m not in the camp that proposing should be a total surprise all on the guys. It’s my life and I want a big part in the discussion
Post # 9
thefuturemrswindowcleaner: do you already have kids together?
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
If you have a tentative August 2016 date set, he still has over a year to propose before you even need to start planning. Give the man some time.
Post # 11
Yes I have a specific window we discussed for a proposal: before June! Eeee!!
if you’ve already set a vague date and he knows you need the formal proposal (and atleast a year to plan) then I’d let it go. You’re already jumping the gun with anxiousness… August 2016!!?!? Give it a rest!
Post # 12
August 2016 is still a long ways off! He might propose next year. Ours is probably the Summer of 2015 and still no ring on my finger. Don’t fret! You can definitely talk more about the date and the wedding though. I think it’d drive me crazier having a long proposal now than having a short proposal later on. I’d be too anxious!
Post # 13
if you agree to marry, then technically you are engaged.
you should be able to talk to your FH about anything. if you think things should go in a different direction or you want something more formal then he wants, you need to tell him.
Post # 14
Agreeing to marry Is not the same thing as proposal, me and my BF talk about it all he time because we know it’s going to happen, we just have to wait til were done with school
Post # 15
If you’ve agreed to get married, you’re engaged. You’ve already got kids? Congrats! The surprise ship sailed long ago. Just get married and continue being a family. No need to manufacture drama by counting on some surprise proposal like you’re both blushing virgins.