(Closed) Did you register and return your gifts? WHY???

posted 12 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Did you register and return gifts? And WHY?
    I received multiples of the same gift : (19 votes)
    39 %
    I changed my mind : (13 votes)
    27 %
    I wanted to get cash instead : (12 votes)
    24 %
    Other reason. Will comment below : (5 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I just registered and haven’t even received any gifts yet, but here’s my two cents…I want every item on my registry, and I have no intentions of returning gifts that I receive. However, there are a couple of circumstances where I could see myself doing this…

    -We registered for separate pots and pans at BB&B because we didn’t think anybody could afford to buy us an expensive 10-piece cookware set. If we end up getting every pot/pan we registered for, we can “exchange” the individual pieces for the most cost-effective set of 10 – which means we’ll still get all the exact same pieces, but also get some money back (the difference between the cost of all pots individually purchased and the lower cost of a 10-piece set). Kind of sneaky, but it sounds like couples do this at BB&B all the time.

    -Although we want everything we registered for, there are obviously items we want or need more than others. If I look at my gifts after the wedding and realize I got all of the home decor/fun/novelty items I registered for, but didn’t get any of my king-size bedding (we’re upgrading to a king when we get married,) then I could see myself returning some of the less needed items in order to buy items – like bedding – that we truly need but couldn’t afford to just go buy.

    I suppose I justify that by saying, people buy things off your registry, not because they are heart-set on buying you that particular item, but because you asked for it. I know I wouldn’t mind if a friend returned the $30 colander I bought her for her wedding last week in order to go towards completing her china. That being said….I am horrified by the idea of returning every single last gift, throwing a fit for not getting cash back, and buying Gucci clothes. Now THAT seems a little selfish…what about FH? Its his wedding too!

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee

    i had BBB for my registry and ended up returning a lot of stuff for several reasons:

    1)i ended up with multiple items of the same thing but from a different place.  I could not return those presents so it was best to return the registry item where I could actually return it.  For example, I registered for a frying pan from BBB and I got one from them and I got another one from location unknown.  kept the location unknown and returned BBB item.

    2)my mom went and actually got a lot of stuff for me.  (korean tradition:  the bride supplies the “inside” of the house like furniture and cookware) so my mom did that and ended up getting us a lot of stuff in korea for the house after someone brought it off our registry so I had to return it.

    3)honestly when I was registering, I had no idea what to register for.  I had always lived with my parents (minus college dorming) so wasn’t sure what I needed until after I actually moved in.

    BBB does not give you cash! (at least not for me).  They did give me a gift receipt with all the returns that I used for things that we really needed but didn’t register for like a trashcan or drawer organizers and splurged on a bigger, expensiver item that wasn’t purchased.

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    3674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i returned: 1)duplicates 2)things that we changed our mind about- like our shower hooks that we didn’t realize wouldn’t fit over our huge hooks 3)things that were bought off registry that we just don’t have room for.

    Post # 20
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee

    We’re not planning on doing this, but I think it makes sense. Couples who live together often don’t need household stuff. But if you have guests who are really traditional and would be offended by a honeymoon registry, you might want to avoid the conflict and just register/return. 

    For us personally, majority of the guests are from cultures where cash is the standard wedding gift, and we only have a few that would prefer a traditional one. So we’re not doing a traditional registry at all. If we did though, all of that stuff would be going right back to the store – no room in our 550 sq. ft apartment! 

    Post # 21
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2021

    I returned stuff I thought I wanted, but then once we were married, I realized I’d never use.  I had grand delusions of being this amazing cook and we received all kinds of food processors and the like.  The only thing I use is our hand mixer when I bake cookies.

    I also returned our fabulous REGIFT from one of my in-law’s friends.  They’d gotten married in 2007 and kindly gave us a coffee maker (we don’t drink coffee, which is why we didn’t register for a coffee maker) with a sticker on it that said “WIN FREE TICKETS TO THE 2007 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL” Uhhh, we got married in 2009.  Luckily, Bed Bath still carried it, and I got $100 instead of a useless, thoughtless gift.

    Also, once we moved after the wedding I had tons of stuff that we just didn’t have room for or a real need for, so I took them back.  I thought I’d use them, but if you can have money instead of stuff collecting dust, then why not??

    Also, all the guests who decided to get creative and buy off the registry, I took all that stuff back.  If you have a list of what people say they want, BUY FROM THERE!

    Post # 22
    Member
    618 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We only registered for things we want/need. We’re not registering for China since we have it. I’m sure most people just end up changing their mind. I’d like to think that the majority of people don’t do this on purpose

    Post # 23
    Member
    598 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I hadn’t heard of anyone doing this on purpose.  But on the other hand I think it’s rude to ask for money unless it’s been set up through something more formal like honeyfund or something.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1404 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    we mostly returned things at target if we were returning anything.  the returns I can remember were because someone bought us the wrong color of an item or because they bought us the type of item we wanted but it was a different brand and of a lower quality and wasn’t actually the item on our registry.  Someone else had bought us the higher quality brand item on our registry, so we didn’t really need two of the same item.  We just returned the lower quality brand item then.

    Post # 25
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I had no intention of having a registry because we want to encourage cash gifts but my fiance’s family insisted so we figured we would register for a few things. I’ve returned most of the things we have received (for my shower so far), even though we want those things, we can get EVERYTHING cheaper and on sale at various other stores. It makes no sense to us to pay double the price for something.

    Shopping by registry goes counter to how we shop. We look for deals and sales. We understand that people wanted to buy us THINGS but we prefer to get cash/ giftcards so that we can plan our purchases to maximize value per dollar (sales).

    Post # 26
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    we did a lot of this. both of our parents told us that people will give us boxed gifts no matter what we wanted so we may as well choose the stuff we would get. We ended up registering at bed bath & beyond and REI.  We thought that since most of our family and friends knew that we were outdoorsy types that we would get a few items from the rei registry. We got ONE! ugh. so a bunch of the items that we got from bb&b we returned and we got stuff fr. rei.  We just told a couple that came over on christmas that asked where their gift was that the coffee maker was defective so we exchanged it! lol

    Post # 27
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Wow! I have never heard of such a thing. People really do that? Crazy… If you don’t want gifts, don’t register. But be prepared that people will give you things you don’t want and can’t return. A number of social circles and families never give cash gifts either so don’t assume that they will. The other part that I have an issue with is that your guests are spending their hard earned money on gifts that are not even required in the first place, but that they rightfully assume you want because you made a registry, and then they will expect to see them in your home when they visit. It seems like a huge slap in the face to them to return everything because a person prefers cash instead.

    Post # 28
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think most brides really want cash.  But it isn’t socially acceptable to ask for it so registries are used as a plan b.  I have created a large registry with various price points.  There are a few benefits (1) it lets people know what you want (2) it is easy for people to shop, usually online (3) it is a way for guests who cannot attend your wedding/shower to purchase a gift for you (4) you can take advantage of store sales when people purchase you something by returning it and getting a gift card for the difference (5) you can register for lots of lower cost items and return them for a bigger and better item that you wouldn’t have otherwised received (6) you can complete your registry by purchasing remaining items, often at a good discount, for a period of time after your wedding, and (7) it lets you finalize your choices at a later date when the bridal buzz has settled down and you can refocus.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1751 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    i cannot see the point in registering for anything that you don’t want or need. it’s very selfish! If you don’t want gifts, don’t register.. i don’t understand. I can see changing your mind, or realizing you need a different size (we got king sheets when we have a queen bed, straight exchange), but to intentionally exchange for cash is definitely the T word to me;)

    Post # 30
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We will be living out of state and needing to fly to get to our wedding.  We have talked about registering at Bed Bath and Beyond and if  people bring gifts to the wedding – we will return them for money, and then re-buy them when we get back home. There is just no way we could bring lots of gifts on a plane….

    Post # 31
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I hadn’t heard of exchanging gifts for cash until my friend did it, but I must say that I kinda understand it, though I probably won’t do it.  The thing is, everyone invited to our wedding plus others want to give gifts, and at least in my family, they just won’t give cash.  Ever.  And we have so much stuff already; we’re upgrading a few things and thinking of the future (ie lots of place settings) but still, we just don’t need that much.  So in my situation, what to do?  Let the registry go empty and force people to come up with their own things to buy that I may hate or never use?  When I’m a guest I hate thinking of gift ideas.  Register for extra stuff and keep it in my tiny house with no storage?  And really, we could use the cash, not just for the honeymoon (not having one), but for health insurance, vet bills, savings for downpayment or baby, etc.  So I get why you might register for 16 place settings, return 4, and keep the money.  Who’s going to know which plates they bought when they come to your house, as long as there are plates?  Are they really going to check your cabinets for the exact size saucepan, or your linen closet for the dark pink sheets?  I know I wouldn’t. 

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