(Closed) did you regret eloping/having a small wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I did exactly what you’re describing & don’t regret it one bit. I think there were 15 people in attendence, all family. We gave each person something special to do- Father-In-Law held the rings, my brother played the song I walked to on his guitar (beach wedding), etc. My ‘reception’ was a super fancy dinner with everyone afterwards.

I didn’t want the anxiety of standing and saying my vows in front of 200 people, and I still had all the wedding elements that were important to me- the dress, the flowers, the cake, the photog, the centerpieces, etc. It was (mostly) stress free and we didn’t break the bank.

Post # 4
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

i hope to see many responses on this topic, cos i’m planning exactly same thing as you OP. 🙂

Post # 6
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012


Did any of you bees elope or have a small wedding?  We got married on our weddingmoon while in Canada.  It was a destination elopement/very intimate wedding.

If so, how many people attended, how did you make it memorable and special and anything you regret or would change?  By British Columbian law, you are required to have two witnesses.  Our two witnesses were H’s parents.  They were retired, had passports and made the 800 mile drive to see us.  They are so sweet.

Did you regret it and were people upset or understanding?   My family was unable to travel to our home state (where I offered all expenses paid food/hotel/transportation if they just flew in for 3 days).  They told me up front they couldn’t go and I did not even tell them which month!  Sowith that, what good is an immediate family wedding if one whole side doesn’t show up.  That was our cue to go far far away and get married in our honeymoon.  No one was upset.

without all the guests, how did you spend your time?  H and I are very active outdoors people.  We hiked every day of our honeymoon.  We love mountains.  We even hiked on our wedding day!  Then we got ready in the lodge together, I didn’t put my dress on til he left the room.  Then the photographer came and got getting ready shots, she helped us do a first look, then we had the ceremony, then we had more photos around the lake/lodge, then we had a 3 course wedding dinner with the ILs.  It was so lovely, and so US!

All in all, I am disappointed (still) in my family for not making any effort to see me get married – yet again.  BUT then it wouldn’t have been in this awesome Canadian location (It would have been in Utah, which is also pretty). 

Because H and I put thought into this wedding, we made it truly “us,” added little elements to make it meaningful – it was so very very awesome and I have zero regrets!  Even today, when I see weddings in movies, I think, “THANK GOODNESS we did not go that route.”  I’m a little obsessed with elopements now.

Our wedding had no ceremony music (but it was so pretty no music was needed), two witnesses, no first dance, but we had a great photographer, the white wedding dress, a 3 course wedding dinner for four, a cake.

Post # 7
11 posts
  • Wedding: beach

@tayy17:  i actually want a small intimate wedding, but my boyfriend wants a big one. Both of my bestfriends did small destination weddings and they didn’t regret it.

Post # 10
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Not at all!  As a same-sex couple, we had to get married in Massachusetts, where we knew almost no one.  We decided to make lemonade out of the lemons we had been given.  We had a ceremony with immediate family and a very few close friends only (a dozen people total), then took everyone out to lunch in the private dining room of a nearby restaurant afterward.  Because there were so few guests, we could afford to treat them royally, including having lunch at a high end restaurant (lobster and filet mignon were among the entree choices) and paying for a house where all of them could stay for the night before the wedding and the wedding night.  We were also able to make the ceremony very participatory, with each of our guests having a part (e.g., doing a reading or reciting one of the seven blessings) and all of our guests signing the ketubah (formal Jewish marriage contract) as witnesses.  With so few guests, we were able to spend time with each of them, both at the reception and at the place where we all stayed.

Post # 12
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wanted to elope.  Darling Husband wanted a wedding.  We compromised with a small Destination Wedding.  We had 23 guests.  The day itself was a disaster but we dont regret it.  We had a ceremony, dinner, and drinks/dancing at a lounge after it all in separate locations.  I do wish we eloped instead still.

Post # 13
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I really would’ve loved to elope.  So romantic and less stress.  But I caved to pressure from parents, friends, and society (ha, drama!) and have planned a grand fete! 

I still want to elope…. :/

Post # 14
5177 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

We had a mini-DW on Vancouver Island. 16 guests. It was held at a resort and in a place that is special to us both and that gave our guests time and opportunity to relax (and our “favours” were credits for the spa). We all live all over the place so it was a great way to spend time with everyone, even if it was just hanging out in the hot tub! Since we were off season we also got a great price on everything including the huge and amazing three-sided ocean view room for us. 

We had a late afternoon ceremony followed by a sit down dinner (a la carte so guests ordered whatever they wanted) in a private area of the resort’s dining room. My husband and I woke up in the morning of the wedding, I went for a run and then came back and had my hair done and all in room. My husband went to the spa to get some pampering and then we got ready together and went to the ceremony together.

It was special because it was our wedding – what else do you need but the vows to make it special? – but we did have some rather unique parts to our ceremony that we could have since it was such a small wedding. It truly was very personal and “us”. No really “traditional” elements since that does not fit for us but lots of our own special touches. We did not do bridesmaids/groomsmen, walks down an aisle, etc. Each of our guests had the opportunity to participate in our ceremony if they desired. We had no idea what to expect beforehand and were truly surprised and honoured by our guests. We have some creative guests!

It was so relaxing, fun, emotional, intimate, and stress free! After dinner there was no dancing but most of us went for a nightime dip in the outdoor pool/hot tub. The next morning everyone was invited to the huge brunch buffet the resort holds.

Our guests apparently enjoyed it. We really had no backlash at all. We both have large families but only invited family and friends who we had an actual close relationship with and even those not invited were very supportive. We would have done it even if they were not, though.

No regrets at all about having a small wedding. I’d do the same all over again. 

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