Post # 1
I’d welcome your thoughts bees.
I have a small budget so going down secondhand/replica route.
Tried on lots of dresses to see what I liked. I felt fabulous in a simple form fitted satin dress. Classy, elegant and loved it with long veil and all that jazz
i also tried on a couple of plain bateau neck dresses with big box pleat skirts which had hoops/netting underneath.
I really fell for this style too. Total princess wedding dress thing in a world of mermaids/fit and flares etc
If money was no object, I’d have two dresses.
Im steering away from the big dress for four reasons 1) it looks very formal, unlike our ceremony venue, 2) my Fiance has loved pictures of fitted dresses I’ve shown him (online not me in them), 3) the big dress flattered my waist but obviously you couldn’t really see any of my shape. I’m far FAR from being a blimmin’ supermodel or anything (just a normal) but whenever dresses are mentioned to girl friends they always go on about me having something to show off my shape and 4) we are spending a lot of our budget on lots of good entertainment, bands, musicians, djs so I intend on dancing. a lot. and the big dress was a hell of an operation to drag around the shop – my Fiance wouldn’t be able to get too close!
So im about to pull the trigger bees on a form fitting dress. I’m having a seperate sheer bateau top made that’s removable, so I’ll still have that look in a way. Plus the train will be really long and I’ll have a long veil. So hopefully wow-y enough but still elegant. And it’ll have a structured bow on the front so I’m hardly going for a slip dress BUT I just wanted to hear what you bees think and if anyone tried a big dress and loved it but still happy they chose something else. or did you have a whopper of a gown and managed anyway?
thanks for hearing me out bees and giving your thoughts.
all wedding planning decisions have been so easy and lovely but I’m a bit hesitant here as obviously I dont want to ask FI!
Post # 2
Would you consider talking about it with Fiance just so you can make the decision more easily and not have stress about it? Me personally, I love the look of the bigger dresses, but I found them so uncomfortable that I know I would not be happy wearing it all night.
Post # 3
My only advice is wear what you want to wear. Stick with your budget if it’s important and buy what you like. You do have to wear it after all! This is you and your FIs big day, I think you can totally still be elegant!
Post # 4
I know one bride who had a big dress and regretted not getting one that was more fun and less work!
That said, get whichever dress you feel best in.
Post # 5
I chose a sheath lace dress that wasn’t at all big or heavy at all. I don’t regret it in the slightest. I have a friend who wore a pretty big ball gown and she said it actually bruised her hips by the end of the night because it was so heavy. I also don’t regret my choice because I was able to pee by myself! 🙂 Your choice sounds great. Do you have a picture?? I LOVE the simple satin look!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
Big dresses aren’t “me” but I got one anyway for my first wedding because my mom loved it. I was not a fan and I should have gone with my gut.
Luckily, I got a second chance when I got remarried. I ended up with my simple A line that I wanted the first time around and it was definitely more my style.
In short, I actually regretted the big dress.
Post # 7
Go with the dress you really love and makes your heart sing. I had two wedding dresses, a mermaid with a heavy bottom and a trumpet style/kinda ball-gowny dress and I had a blast in both (had two weddings). The mermaid was heavier then my ball gown type dress and I stayed in it all night even though I had an awesome short reception dress that I thought I would change into for dancing (only changed when we were leaving to fit into our car). Even though my dresses were heavy and I was sweating a lot during the night, I didn’t mind at all since when else are you going to get a chance to wear such extravagant dresses again? Plus I LOVE how my heavy mermaid look in all of my photos. I’m so glad I did not change into my short dress during the reception because my dress definitely stood out from everyone else’s dresses in all of my photos.
But don’t get a big dress for the sake of having a big dress. Go with the one you love. But if you fall in love with a bigger gown and are afraid of its heaviness, don’t worry too much because it is SO much fun to twirl and dance in it and the bigger dresses look amazing in photos.
Post # 8
fl0werbee: that’s a good idea. He’s such a darling I know he’d be ‘wow’ whatever I turn up in, but the only thing he’s ever voiced any concern about is me turning up in some huge pavalova dress and I do know he says ‘yes’ to any form fitting dress whatever it’s style. I think a bit of it might be the man thing of liking shapely type styles. Your comment made me think and I felt a bit sad about wearing something that was a ‘performance’ and not be close to him 🙁
Courtneyukno: thank you for the vote of confidence. Yes will certainly stay under budget and it will be secondhand or replica (with a local dress maker on hand to tweak and make perfect).
thelibrarylady: exactly my worry
ljm308: glad you were happy with your choice. the big dress is this kind of thing – had netting and hoop to get it like this
This is me in this kind of style that I tried
i dont have a photo of me in form fitting wedding dress as I wasn’t allowed to take photos, but this is me in a ball gown on that kind of style (I LOVED this dress!!) – wedding dress would have long train though.
The other pictures below are the kind of style wedding dress I’d go for if form fitting (with that kind of sheer top, bow etc)
Post # 9
dracarys: that’s a shame you got bullied into it the first time. Glad you got your perfect pick in the end!
Shina: that’s really interesting. I was thinking about a simple short 2nd dress but then I realised I’d want to stay in my gown for as long as possible as its only one day isn’t it.
Post # 10
I went for a simple & elegant bride’s maid’s gown but I did buy the big veil that I wanted. No regrets. I looked great. At the end of the day (quite literally) the gown was just a one-off (no pun intended) and I’m perfectly happy to have spent more in other areas.
Post # 11
I think form fitted will serve you much better. The bigger dress look may swallow you up. Show off your curves!!
Post # 12
Not at all…I tried a few on and it just covered me up. I might as well show off my figure while i’m still young and happy with it hahah
Post # 13
NFLwidow: thats good to know. Yeah I’m hoping long train and veil will make it very bridal and ‘enough’
leekissesme: jesais: thanks girls! You’re making my decision easier.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2015 - Diplomat Country Club
UK-bee: Funny enough i stressed about it too up until i got my dress and alterations were done. I mean when will i ever get the chance to wear a big ballgown? LOL but i honestly don’t regret wearing my dress (it was a fit and flare/mermaid) the bottom was big enough and it showed my figure very well and it was corset so it helped me hide all my problem areas great too so yup i don’t regret. Some days i wonder how i would have look with a ballgown but then i remember trying them on and i looked like a little girl and after 2 kids that is definitly not the look i was going for lol.
I agree with PP’s wear what makes you happy cause if you are happy in it you will look like a million $$ even if it’s a replica 🙂
Post # 15
We have already ‘chatted’ about dresses- we’re both UK brides looking for plainer dresses!
I can’t advise at all but I can assure you that you’re not the only one who feels like this. I saw from your profile that you’re 38. Well, I’m (just, arghh!) 40 and I think as you get older you know what you want really well but you’re also used to being able to go out and make your own choices, or buy a pair of shoes in both colours just because you can, so being restricted to one dress feels a right pain.
I am feeling your exact pain. I have pretty much settled on a very simple wrapped Mori Lee rouched mermaid tulle dress (5801) because despite searching for the perfect plain SATIN dress I just put this on and it gave me a really amazing shape and I felt it was soft and flowy to go with the fine art photographer I want to use, and it’s easy to accessorise any way I want……. and mainly my poor mother can’t take any more deliberating. Of course there is a beautiful satin number by Essense of Australia that was sooo soft that I can’t get out of my mind (by the way their satin is so incredible and un-shiny and amazing for the price) and if you are prone to being picky (I can see you are like me, very picky!!) you want perfection. But at the end of the day, no one dress has everything and you just have to pick (they keep telling me).
I went into a bridal shop yesterday just to get my head straight between these 2 very very similar dresses and there she was- this amazing bride, my size, my weight, my age (ish) standing there for her final fitting in the most stunning beaded princess dress. All the things I didn’t want- big skirt and lace and sleeves. She looked like a member the royal family. Grrr. I felt my Mori Lee dress was so plain and nothing-y in comparison- the poor relation. To make it worse, she then told me that she’d had a plainer A-line dress but decided to buy a new one as she’d only get one chance to do a ballgown. All the things I did not want to hear…..I just kept thinking I could get a second dress in a ballgown style. My venue is posh enough. And I’m not a big dancer (ie. a crap one who shuffles from foot to foot). BUT: Then realised that in the UK a series of dresses are probably considered OTT and vain. Unless the second one is a very casual dress just for dancing. And that I’m picking a form fitting chic dress that my fiancé will love, and he’s creature of habit, so why would I disturb him by changing into something huge just for me?
If it helps I LOVE your idea for your dress with the bow. And going from your photo, you should show off your figure. You just look like a mermaid/form fitting bride to me in general. I think ballgowns look and feel so much better in real life, so I can’t comment on your photo in the shop. I know when I put one on I felt at the same time Disney princess ridiculous and also really thrilled and wow. I was tempted but I have to be ME on my wedding day. I’d say think about all the previous brides you know- I bet 80 or 90% of them have picked a dress that was very ‘them’, sort of what you’d predict they’d have worn. I think that’s because ultimately everyone has a personal style and when it comes to the crunch that is what they pick.
I notice you said you ‘fell for’ the big dresses but you yourself ‘felt fabulous’ actually wearing the mermaids. I felt the same, the way you worded it tells you something maybe…?? 😉
So stick with your original plan that you’re clearly put a lot of thought into.
But yeah…..I get it and I also want 2 dresses. :O