(Closed) Did you send STDs to everyone on guest list?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
  • poll: To send or not to send a STD
    Send to everyone on guest list : (17 votes)
    45 %
    Send to close relatives/friends : (21 votes)
    55 %
    Send to no one! HAHA! Just kidding - They're already made : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    5183 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I am having a Destination Wedding in another state and will be sending our Save-The-Date Cards to everyone on our guestlist. If we are sending them an invite, they will also be getting a STD because we want to give them a heads up as to the wedding being a Destination Wedding. Give them adequate time to prepare, save, book tickets and hotels etc

    Post # 4
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I sent Save-The-Date Cards to everyone on my guest list, even to those I don’t think will be able to make it, as well as to those (ie my mom, etc) who don’t need a REMINDER of when the wedding will be.

    I am having sort of a destination wedding. I am getting married in my hometown, but live with my FH in his hometown (3000 miles away). I think especially in cases like this, where guests have to plan and travel, STD’s are important. It gives people the opportunity to start saving and booking and to decide for themselves if they want to/can make it to your wedding.

    I also didn’t want to send STD’s to some people and risk offending others just because I assumed they already knew. They can be nice keepsakes for those who are close to you, and also serve as kind gestures (“we want you to know that we would love to have you, but understand if you cannot make it”).

    Post # 5
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I personally sent them to about 75% of my list. This was mostly because there are some people that I am only inviting to be nice (grandma’s cousin and mom’s co-workers), and I didn’t feel like I needed to send them to those people. I suppose that would stand as my ‘B List’ 

    Post # 6
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We didn’t send Save-The-Date Cards to everyone on our guest list, but we are also not having a destination wedding. In your case, I think everyone invited needs one since they need to book hotel rooms and arrange for travel ASAP.

    Post # 7
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We aren’t because we will definitely be having an A and B list, so only the A list is getting Save-The-Date Cards. 

    Post # 8
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I sent Save-The-Date Cards to everyone on our guest list; even to the ones that I knew wouldn’t be able to make it. I also sent invitations to everyone; even the ones that already stated they wouldn’t be able to make it. For me, it fell under the category of “Common Courtesy”.

    Post # 9
    1488 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We send STD’s out to all of our “original” guest list. I say original because Future Mother-In-Law keeps adding people that I have put on a whole different page of my excel guest list and I’ve since “forgotten” about them. They definitely aren’t getting a STD, and depending on how labor intensive my invitations are, they may or may not get an invitation.

    Everyone who is for sure getting an invitation will be getting a STD though. Our wedding is semi-destination (at least a 2 hour drive for most, but since it’s in Orlando we know most people will want to make a vacation out of it)

    Post # 10
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We included a note about our date in the Christmas cards. The cards basically went out to FI’s family. Most of the out-of-towners are from his side. Everyone else will just get a invitation.

    Post # 11
    736 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I sent out the Save the Dates to most everyone. I just didn’t send out to my relatives in Canada because I know they can’t come anyway. But they will receive invitations.

    Post # 12
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We sent them out to everyone for our destination wedding.

    We over invited though, so I’m kind of wishing we hadn’t. It gave more people time to plan on coming.. and now I think we might have more people coming than can fit on the boat for the reception. AHHHH.

    Post # 13
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    If it is a destination wedding- I would say send to everyone because they can start making travel arrangements early.  I should have just sent to my out of state friends and family.  I sent to everyone and now I am regretting it.  There a some people I was close with a few months ago but now not so much.  I feel like i can’t uninvite them now that they have the save the date but I hope I can help others not make the same mistake.  ONLY send to friends and family that are out of town and that you KNOW will still be close when the wedding comes.  

    Post # 14
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    There’s a few ways to look at it.  I usually explain it to my brides like this:

    • Send them to everyone if it’s a destination wedding for the majority of your guests, it’s short term, or it’s an especially long engagement but you’ve booked your venue with no plans/reason to change it.
    • If there are a lot of people on your guest list you don’t know or care (or even want!) to come, don’t send them a save the date.  The point of them is to give people additional time to take care of travel arrangements/time off/babysitters, whatever.  
    • You can be a little more casual with the etiquette of them – send one per household even if there are people over the age of 18, multiple couples, whatever.
    • The most important advice – don’t send one to anyone you aren’t 100% ABSOLUTELY sure will be getting an invitation.  You’ll save yourself a ton of headaches and drama.

    We sent them to everyone on the invite list with 3 exceptions – FIs mom’s family that we didnt plan on inviting at the time and weren’t especially wanting them to come.

    Good luck!

    Post # 15
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I didn’t sent out STD’s to everybody, just the VIP guests that I knew that 6 months from now, I’d still be heart broken if they couldn’t attend our wedding, because they didn’t realize it was this date, and made other plans.  I just still wanted the flexibility to not invite the people who made the original long eye guest list, if we ended up not being able to accommodate it financially or space-wise.

    Post # 16
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We sent them only to close family, people coming in from out of the area and some close friends. The reasoning is our list is still in limbo due to Fiance parents side. Our STD’s contained the hotels information, we figured it would be helpful if we gave it to them as early as possible. Also, this is bad but we hope the ones we didn’t send the STD’s too will not be able to make it, haha.

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