Post # 1
Hi guys. I’m planning on a destination wedding since my fiance is stationed in Hawaii.
I’ve been getting pretty disheartened because most everyone has said they would love to come, but when I try to set a date, I will find out that some cannot take vacation days until so and so, and while I wouldn’t mind pushing back the date, July would be quite expensive for plane tickets, ect. and not sure if we can push it back any further since my fiance may be relocating and then his schedule would be uncertain.
Just wondering for those who have had a destination wedding, did you set a date and let others know, or ask others first then pick a date?
I know I can’t accomodate everyone’s date preferences, but just wanted to get a general idea of how it should be done.
And disclaimer, I do know having a destination wedding makes it very inconvient for everyone involved, including us! So please no comments on that, thanks very much!! :))
Post # 2
I feel like at some point, you just have to set a date and hope that whoever can make it, will make it. Plus you might be surprised — some people may end up showing up when you thought they wouldn’t be able to because while they would have PREFERRED another date, it wasn’t impossible for them to switch a few things around to make it.
Post # 3
Set your date and go with it. Whoever wants to be there bad enough will make it there. its YOUR day
Post # 4
Figure out who your VIPs are – those people that you would be devastated over if they didn’t make it. Ask those people and work around them, and hope for the best with the others.
I didn’t have a destination wedding, but it was far from where my parents live and they have a busy schedule, so I literally sent my mom a google doc of EVERY possible weekend in like a 9-month span and asked her to add comments on which weekends did and did not work for them (or which ones were not ideal but workable). It sounds a little over the top, but it took her no more than 20 minutes or so and honestly made the date-picking process so much easier than the back and forth on the phone about various dates.
Post # 5
I think you just have to set a date. It’s not going to work for everyone but if you pick something that works for you guys then that’s what you do. If you have a bunch of teachers that you want in attendance, during the school year may be out – but as you said, tickets during non-school seasons are more expensive. It’s up to you how you want to balance that!
Post # 6
I feel like the date that we want, a good number can’t make it do to no vacation days and also i’m sure once they look at the ticket prices it will be close to $1000 🙁
That’s true, unforunately, that will mean only family at this point :T
It stinks, but since I’m planning on having such a small wedding, ALL of my guest are VIPs lol
Of course def our parents, but they don’t get vacation days anyways, so we will be whisking them away on our own lol
Thanks. Yeah, at this point looks like July at least 2 would be able to make it, but I’m not sure if it’s worth all the extra expenses for everyone else, including us on our budget.
Thank you guys for your input. I was wondering if anyone else had more feedback on how their guest list worked planning a destination wedding, and when you set the date for to get an idea of what seems to be more convinent for guest?
I know summertime would be popular, but also more expensive.
Would Dec. be considered inconvinent as well, since it’s wintertime.. or will people want to travel to escape the cold?? so torn!!
Thanks very much!
Post # 7
The two friends who werne’t sure about their vacation days, it turns out they can get them earlier!!
You guys are right, the ones who want to be there will make an effort to be there.
I think I will try to offer to cover the stay of hotels, ect though to make it easier for those without vacation days, ect. 🙂
Post # 8
We asked around a bit first before setting our date (some of our close friends will be finishing up their degrees at the time so we wanted to make sure to not book anything during school months), but ultimately it’s always hard to choose a date that would work for everyone.
We’re doing our destination wedding next year in December 🙂 People were much happier with that than when we suggested June. It just made more sense for everyone to go to Punta Cana when it’s winter here, to escape the cold! Not everyone will be able to make it, which is a bit of a bummer, but we’re doing a destination wedding because that’s what makes us happy, and we’re just very grateful for the few people that can go!
Post # 9
We announced our date more than a year in advance, so vacation time wasn’t really an issue. The only person who couldn’t come because of vacation days was my cousin who’s a teacher, and that’s because she used all her personal days for the year on her own wedding.
Basically the only person we had to check with in advance was my sister, since her law school schedule was pretty rigid. But for people with regular jobs, it was generally just a matter of giving enough notice. And we didn’t worry about everyone, just essential family members.
Post # 10
I would take into consideration who are the people that MUST be there (moms, dads, grandparents, etc) the ones that you couldn’t have this day without, and see what date works best for them. If you try to accomodate everybody, you’re not going to get married for a couple years with those PTO and vacation requirements several of your guests have mentioned. Destination weddings are meant to be for close family and friends, not large weddings because most people don’t have the funds or time off to make it.
Post # 11
Thanks for your input!!
Yeah I think Dec sounds like it makes sense for such a warm destination It’s nice to hear people were happier with that choice and nice that you guys can have it then 😀
I think in our case people are itching to go vacation ASAP hahah so I think we will keep our date after all.
Honestly I just feel a big sense of relief that at least we do have 2-3 people genuintely trying to come to the wedding. :))
Post # 12
fwiw, we picked our date (special to us) and informed everyone accordingly. We were happy with the turnout then and have been happy to celebrate our wedding anniversary on the date of our choosing every year since.
Post # 13
Thanks for your input! It’s great that you knew the date so far out! We did get engaged in June and I did tell other people it would be June or July, but I guess not having a set date did cause some issues, but planning takes time and I wasn’t sure right away that it would be in Hawaii.
thanks for the reassurance! family for sure, but i know their schedules are the most flexible 🙂
Thanks for your input! I agree, close family and friends, which is why I want to be sure my close friends can make it since my family at this point is a given 🙂
I’m considerng paying for hotel costs for my friend’s who don’t make much money, hopefully that will be enough incentive to consider coming out 🙂
Post # 14
We considered our VIPs’ general schedules but decided the wedding date on our own. With a destination wedding, there are so many logistics that guests have to coordinate. You just have to do the best you can.
Post # 15
We checked with close family that we wanted to attend and worked around some people, but ultimately we went with the date the worked best, not a date that worked for everyone (as if that’s even possible). None of my cousins were able to attend, for a variety of reasons, though one couple did come visit us later in the summer. I did work around a family reunion for my best friend’s husband though. If they know you tried, that should be enough. No one can reasonably expect you to accommodate every single person you invite. You’d never get married!