(Closed) Did you tell anyone you were TTC? Who?

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

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Soonerbee07:  We weren’t trying to get pregnant, but we definitely didn’t say anything until I was actually pregnant and then I told my mom at 5 weeks, and then we told his mom when I was closer to 10 weeks, and then we announced when I was 18-19 weeks.  So for us, it was a private thing straight through.  Some people had started guessing when I was around 17 weeks, it just looked too large to be a beer gut.

Post # 17
Member
2300 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Mom, mom in law, sister in law, and a handful of good friends. My niece and I were hanging out today and she told me that we need to have kids already because she still doesn’t have any cousins. It was all I could do not to say “we’re working on it!” She’s 10, so no. One friend just had a baby in December and every month she’s like “so, any news?” No. Wishing I hadn’t said anything to her in hindsight. Feel like a bit of a failure.

Post # 18
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

Most of our close friends know we want to try this year but no one knows when. If we end up having problems, I will probably turn to a friend or two for support who have been through it, but that’S it. The excitement for others can wait for when we fall. to me this is a special time between hubby and I, and I kinda want to keep that to ourselves. Plenty of time for everyone else to get involved. 

Good luck!!!!! 

 

Post # 19
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I told my mum after a couple of months because we started trying before our wedding i wanted to talk logistics if i was to get pregnant. She was told NOT to tell anyone, i now know not to trust her with anything like that again. I had an old school friend come up to me in the shops saying she heard i was having trouble getting pregnant. Not impressed!!!

The rest of our families got told when we started seeking fertility treatments. 

A couple of friends got told along the way at different times.

My work was told because i had to leave early and arrive late for appts. Another girl was struggling at the same time so i spoke to her a fair bit and another girls best friend had been through clomid treatments so i asked her a few bits about it. Again everyone ended up finding out at work. Which is fine cause they were really good about it, didnt ask to many questions unless i brought it up but did check in every so often to make sure i was going ok. 

 

I believe you should only tell people if you trust them completely or if you dont mind people talking.

Post # 20
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Everyone guessed anyway cause they all know how baby crazy I have always been so they knew I would try straight after the wedding. They don’t know we actually started months before the wedding though. 

So far it’s 7months or so of trying but it really doesn’t bother me if people know. I’d rather that then people constantly asking when i’m gonna have a baby and not know we are struggling.

Post # 21
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We didn’t tell anyone we were TTC, but most ppl assume since we are now married and early 30’s its on the cards for us. So i’m just letting them assume but not actively speaking about it. It took us 2.5 months to concieve and honestly I was seriously stressed about it! On one hand it would have been good to have a friend to discuss it with, but my best friend had just had a MC, and the rest of them really aren’t at that place in life. On the other hand i’m glad though we didn’t tell everyone as i would feel i’m constantly being watched to see if i’m avoiding alcohol foods etc, and I don’t think that pressure on top of the pressure we put on ourselves TTC would have done me any good.

We are now 8w2 days pregnant and i am bursting to tell ppl!!!!! DH is excited but there is only so much he understands about being a woman. Physically I look the same but on the inside i have had so many feelings/symptoms, i’d love to be able to chat to a girl about it. So i don’t think it will even be real for him until we have the scan @ 12w 3 days. But in saying that I feel like pregnacy is a long time!!! so if we can hold it to ouselves for 3 months we are almost a 1/3 of the way there.

We are telling my parents a few days before the scan at 12 weeks because they will be visiting us and they will be sworn to secrecy then for 3 days until we have the scan and are sure everything is alright. i have never held a secret this long, although i’m pretty sure my mother and sisters are suspicious!

Also I think if the worst happened i would tell my close friends and family anyway for their support, even if they didn’t know initially i was pregnant. i really don’t think there is a right or a wrong answer to this its just what ever you feel comfortable with. I will say its a great bonding experience for DH and me having this secret to ourselves. And then I have the lovely bees for support on the pregnancy boards.

Post # 22
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Everyone knows we are TTC. I’m generally an open book type of person, I’m glad everyone knows.. We are going into cycle 4 TTC and even if it takes us longer, I’m glad everyone knows we’re trying because if I emotionally start to struggle with TTC, it would be rough on me, I don’t hide mad/sad emotions well so I’d be a basket case if people started asking questions. 

Post # 23
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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Soonerbee07:  We told our close family members and closest friends we were TTC and asked them to keep us in their prayers about it. This weekend we called to tell them we’re pregnant! But the masses won’t know for a while. We just told those we knew we’d tell if we were to miscarry (God forbid). We have a string support system. 

Post # 24
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When we got married, my Mom already knew how badly I wanted kids since I was a little girl. I think she assumed we would try right away. However, we did not officially tell anybody we were TTC until we had been trying for about 8 or 9 months. We felt at that point we needed support and advice.

Post # 25
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My DH and I aren’t TTC at the moment since he is still finishing up his MBA.  We are hoping to start by the end of the year or maybe wait until Summer 2016.  Our families pretty much know we want to wait because of him being in school.  We also want to enjoy our marriage before we start having kids (got married Dec 2014).  With that being said, I don’t think we will tell anyone we are trying and when it does happen we probably won’t say anything at least until 2-3 months in.  

Post # 26
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We didn’t tell anybody we were trying except that my mom kinda knew because she’s mom. She’s cool and didn’t pressure us or ask a lot of questions. 

I’m glad that we didn’t tell anybody. It took us a year to conceive. It was hard going through it alone/with DH. I think it would have been harder if more people knew because of all the advice and pressure despite if they’re doing it out of our good interest. 

Post # 27
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I told my best friend who has two kids, my DH told his brother and mom, and we told two mutual friends because it was like you, where they sort of figured it out based on our behavior/plans. 

 

Honestly I wish we hadn’t told anyone but his brother and my best friend. They are who we really lean on as a support team. the rest of them just ask if we’re pregnant yet and it’s uncomfortable, especially since its now been over a year since we started trying. Since I’m 25 and he’s 29 we didn’t think it would take this long but it is, and I know that even though they aren’t exactly asking why, they wonder if we are having issues. 

Post # 28
Member
3951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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Soonerbee07:  I didn’t want anyone to know, in case we had trouble (which we are) and just because it’s a private topic, too. When it became apparent that it wasn’t going to be easy for us, I did confide in a close girlfriend who is great a keeping things to herself.

Post # 29
Member
591 posts
Busy bee

We are currently only Cycle 14 TTC (looking like we’re about to be going into Cycle 15).  We did not tell anyone at first, and I am so glad for it.  As time has gone by, more and more people keep asking us when we’re having kids and it gets more difficult to just brush off the questions and comments.  I have had to break down and let a few people know what’s going on.  

For us, I’m glad that we didn’t tell everyone at the beginning that we were TTC because I think it would be even more difficult than it already is with everyone constantly wondering if this month is the month.  I prefer to live through the difficulty TTC privately with my husband and doctor (and with my fellow bees, of course!). 

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you and your hubby!!

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