Did you tell anyone you were TTC?

posted 2 months ago in TTC
  • poll: Did you tell anyone you were TTC
    No one : (16 votes)
    29 %
    Some Friends - no Family : (18 votes)
    33 %
    Some Family - no Friends : (6 votes)
    11 %
    Handful of People : (8 votes)
    15 %
    We Were Pretty Open : (7 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9215 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We didn’t tell anyone.

    If for some reason it didn’t work out, I don’t want people asking me about it.

    Plus I just feel it’s kind of weird to basically announce that you’re having unprotected sex.

    People will be excited about you being pregnant, they don’t need to know ahead of time IMO.

    Post # 3
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Kinda depends how many people you want knowing your business. I thinks. Few friends is ok for some support since you already told them. For some people it comes fast for some it takes time. I guess people knowing will guess one of these days you will get preg and of you don’t they may ask. I’m not trying to carry but my sister in law was and the only reason I found out was because she was taking prenatal in front of me. She didn’t get preg until almost a year later and a lot of people knew and were stressing her out w different methods. 

    Persoanlly i don’t like people asking me questions so if and when my time comes I’ll be keeping it to myself 

    Post # 4
    Member
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    I told my best friends. But I wish I didn’t. We told our parents when we started IVF, but I also wish we hadn’t. We have been TTC for over 2 years now and it feels like a lot of pressure with other people knowing and wondering when it will happen.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5260 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I told a handful of people, which was dumb… because it took us forever to get pregnant.  But I also got to the point where I needed people IRL to complain to.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2682 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I didn’t make any kind of announcement but after 18 months of trying if someone asked I told them we were trying but it wasn’t happening 

    Post # 7
    Member
    7784 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I told my best friend and that’s it. No family cause I didn’t want anyone hassling me or constantly analyzing my every move and appearance for signs of pregnancy. Wound up having a miscarriage and was very glad most people in our life didn’t know we’d been trying. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    7131 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    stillnothing :  I just told me best friends who I tell everything to at first. Then we struggled and every one kept asking why we weren’t having kids yet and I eventually told more friends and some family “actually we’ve been trying for a long time and we’re in treatment now so STFU”. We’re gearing up for our second and I’ve told those 2 friends again that we’re planning a transfer for the summer but no one else. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    9375 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We aren’t trying yet but have already discussed and agreed that when we do start (next summer) we won’t be telling anybody. I don’t want people asking about it or giving unwanted advice. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9215 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I will say I mentioned that I had my IUD removed to my mom, so I’m sure she assumed we were planning on trying for another. So it was super awkward when later she asked if she was “getting another grandchild soon” shortly after I miscarried. So, would not recommend.

    Post # 11
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    stillnothing :  My parents, my grandma, and couple we are best friends with are the only ones that know we plan to start trying at the end of the summer. We’ve told them because we know they won’t ask a million times if we’re pregnant yet and if it doesn’t work out according to our timeline I know they’d offer the love and support we’d need. We don’t plan to tell anyone else

    Post # 12
    Member
    1321 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m going to contradict some of the other posts here:

    We told a lot of people actually! Mostly our closest friends and family, but my co-workers even know now as well. Some of them ended up being more nosy and pushy about it but I just had to tell them to stop asking about it and I’d let them know if I had good news to share. That’s worked out well for us!

    I find that being open is easier for me because I don’t have to dodge questions like “when are you going to have kids?” and stuff. I personally also don’t really mind getting unwanted advice – I know that people only offer advice because they care and want to help, so it’s not malicious in any way! 

    To each their own, of course, but for me it’s worked well to just be open about it and that’s easier for me!

    Post # 13
    Member
    6645 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I think this is a very personal choice. It all depends on what type of information you’re willing to discuss and with who.

    My best friends have all told me when they are TTC, but they’re also my best friends so when it wasn’t working right away or had a miscarriage they confided in me about that too. 

    When we were TTC we didn’t tell anyone, but that actually wasn’t intentional. I had planned on discussing it with my best friends. They knew anyway the general timeline of when we were thinking about starting to try. But we got pregnant on the very first try so I didn’t get a chance to tell them we were TTC. Instead I was just like “ahhh we’re pregnant!” But those, again, were people I would’ve been comfortable telling if we miscarried as well. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I literally had one person besides my husband who I told. She was a good friend of mine in college who had been open about her TTC journey the year prior to us. She is removed from our main group of friends, so it was nice to have someone kind of outside of our close knit friend group. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    742 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    My situation is a little unique. Second marriage. FH and I have 3 kids between us – 16, 9, and 9. We both turn 35 this year.

    NO ONE is expecting us to have kids. Especially as I have strongly and adamantly stated that door is closed for many years. I never expected it to reopen.

    We are getting married in July and will start TTC after my half marathon in early October. I havent told anyone bc we know with age it may not happen so why bring it up when everyone assumes we wouldnt do it anyways.

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