Did you tell anyone you were TTC?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Did you tell anyone you were TTC
    No one : (16 votes)
    29 %
    Some Friends - no Family : (18 votes)
    33 %
    Some Family - no Friends : (6 votes)
    11 %
    Handful of People : (8 votes)
    15 %
    We Were Pretty Open : (7 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 31
    3843 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I told one friend. We weren’t actively trying, we just stopped taking precautions to avoid getting pregnant, so there really wasn’t any pressure.

    Post # 32
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - City, State

    View original reply
    tiffanybruiser :  Thank you! I was initially thinking of a Skype (we don’t live on the same coast and I always think face-to-face are more respectful and/or more personal) so I am really glad you told me this. It would have not occured to me but now that you mention it, it makes a lot of sense! Thanks again!

    Post # 33
    828 posts
    Busy bee

    We didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t want the pressure of others asking me how it’s going, especially if we had issues. Thankfully we got pregnant rather quickly but had two miscarriages prior to getting pregnant with our rainbow. 

    Post # 34
    775 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

    I told basically everyone but regret it. I didn’t think it would take so long but we started trying 1.5 years ago and took a long break from trying before starting up again 9 months ago. I thought I would want the support but it’s been a big mistake telling people and has only added pressure, not to mention the absolutely inane “advice” people give unsolicited. However, it sounds like the people you told were the right ones to tell. I’m at the point where I’m going to start telling people to stop asking me if I’m pregnant yet and that I’ll share the good news when it happens. This has made me reconsider sharing pregnancy news early and I will likely keep that a secret as long as I can! I literally had someone tell me it’s okay if it doesn’t happen, there’s other ways to be a mom – coming from someone who easily had two kids and I’d hate to hear what she would say if I had a miscarriage. Unfortunately I have a job where I have to tell them I’m pregnant right away to avoid serious communicable diseases (I work in the ICU).

    Post # 35
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017 - France

    I told my mother and my sisters nobody else.

    Post # 36
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    stillnothing :  With baby #1 we told no one. I dind’t want people watching and waiting for the announcement. With baby #2 I confided in a few close mom friends and alluded to it with my sister/mom. Especially after about 3 months TTC and I was getting frustrated, it helped to vent a bit to these select people. Then on cycle 4 we got our BFP! It’s a very personal choice and up to you.

    Post # 37
    1390 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We didn’t tell anyone until after we got of infertility diagnosis. And then I told everyone so they would stop asking and say stupid stuff that just would make me upset. 

    Post # 38
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    DH and I are in no major rush for kiddos, so we plan to NTNP. Even so, we’ve agreed we won’t be telling anyone. We just want it to be a big surprise to everyone we tell.

    SIL and I have had some buzzed drunklenly convo’s about roughly when we plan to start. I’ve also mentioned our general time frame to my close girlfriend too. That’s about as far as its gotten for telling people we are TTC. That girlfriend of mine is maybe the only person I would talk to about any TTC/pregnancy related things anyways because she is like Switzerland, pretty neutral and I know convo’s would stay between us.

    We are really anticipating how DH’s family will react because its going to be fantastic when we get to tell them. We would definitely feel the pressue and questions and I’d be under the radar if we told DH’s family we were trying. We truly want to surprise anyone we can and catch them completely off guard.

    Post # 39
    763 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I definitely didn’t want people to be bugging me about it, so I didn’t tell anyone. A few friends and I hinted to one another about our general timelines, but I always told people I wouldn’t be telling them, and then we didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until 15 weeks (immediate family), and I didn’t share wih work until about 22 weeks. I am a private person and I hate being the centre of attention, so I didn’t want people asking how TTC was going, or how early pregnancy was going, etc. 

    It’s trickier now because I think people tend to assume that we will want to have a second kid in the ‘normal’ time frame of 2-3 ish year gap, so as I come up on my son’s first birthday people are starting to ask when/if we want more (mostly my sisters/cousins). It is kinda hard because I know exactly when I want to get pregnant again, but of course there is no knowing when/if that will work out, and we have a lot of other things going on in our lives that may derail starting to TTC another kid. I am finishing up a masters program so I keep telling people I don’t know what my life will look like in a few months, and don’t know when baby time will be :).

    Post # 40
    99 posts
    Worker bee

    I told one close friend when we had first started and then just recently I told two close coworkers and turns out they suffered from infertility and had really long journeys themselves so I have two irl people to talk to about the journey. My close friend really doesn’t understand the struggle because, well, she never had to try, it just kept happening for her. Luckily our families aren’t super annoying with asking questions, but if we don’t get a bfp before 12 months and if we get a diagnosis of infertility, then I may tell my mom. 

    Post # 41
    1858 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - California

    I told a few close friends and I ended up telling my immediate family soon after we got pregnant for the first time (ended in MMC). I am glad I had the support. Only one person I told had not had an MC, which was really interesting to me given that although MCs are common, they are still in the minority of clinically diagnosed pregnancies. It was good to be able to talk to people who could relate to what my DH and I were going through.

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