(Closed) Did you tell everyone?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 31
Member
3532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

mrscross1020:  I think it’s so strange to put something like that on facebook! My Fiance and I will not be trying for another few years (definitely getting married first) and I’ll likely tell my family and closest friends. The whole world doesn’t need to know though! They’ll find out when we succeed lol 

Post # 32
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor

My Darling Husband wanted it to be a surprise to our families when we got pregnant, so we went off BC without telling them. It was kindof funny as the same month we went off, we were at a family party with my brother and his 9 month old “niece” and I was playing with her, and he goes, “When do I get a neice/nephew from you? Get your BC out!” and it was so hard to play it cool! lol.

we ended up telling a couple of friends, one couple who told us they were about to start trying and another who were expecting the next month- but we suceeded in surprising our family! Ok, my mom totally worked out we were trying and had an inkling I was pregnant because I was drinking soda at a restaurant (normally I find soda to be a waste of money & calories, esp at a restaurant, so it’s either beer or water) and because I was eating lunch with her and pinapple made me sick to my stomach (I normally love pinapple)

The only thing about trying for a baby without telling anyone is that so many people have implied that it wasn’t on purpose, and I find that to be so obnoxious and rude. It’s varied from “oh, you guys were trying, right?” which isn’t too bad until you hear it a million times, to “did you let something slip by?” “how effective was your BC?” etc. My personal Public Service Announcement is if you hear someone is expecting a baby, assume it was planned unless specifically told otherwise by the expectant parent (and don’t gossip about it!) 

Post # 33
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ugh, I typed something and my browser freaked out. Long story short… we’re TTC now. I’ve only told a limited number of people, and there was a reason. Neither of our familes know (I did mention it to my sister)… and I hope to keep it that way until we can announce.

If people want to annouce that they are… great. But, that’s not my cup of tea.

 

Post # 34
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

A friend from work recently got married so of course she was getting a bunch of questions about when they were going to start a family (she’s only 32 but her husband is in his mid 40s so we knew she’d probably start pretty soon). She said they were trying and that she was really disappointed when she didn’t get pregnant the first cycle – currently I’m 37 weeks pregnant and anytime she sees me or my husband she talks about how she can’t wait to have her bun in the oven soon, etc. and everything we talk about seems to be pregnancy related, her excitement is very apparent.

Personally I wouldn’t share the news that we were trying with anyone but I guess other people are more open about it and don’t have any issues sharing. Not my cup of tea but if it makes her happy to share her excitement about TTC more power to her, I just hope she gets pregnant soon because I think her optimism is going to fade fast if it takes her a long time to conceive and the pressure of everyone knowing they are trying might get overwhelming at that point. 

Post # 35
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

I would tell my closest friends, that is it.

100% would not put anything on facebook!

Post # 36
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I agree that it’s tacky and very inappropriate to post something like that on social media IMO. I get that it’s an exciting time and she’s probably really happy about it and wants to share it with everyone. But how can people really respond to that? To me, that’s something you would maybe tell a select few of your closest friends and that’s it. And like other bees have said, it just puts unnecessary stress on you to conceive quickly.

My Fiance and I will be trying at the end of March and I have only told 2 of my best friends and that’s it! I’m not even telling my own mother, let alone everyone on my Facebook friends list lol

 

Post # 37
Member
4235 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Nope. I am actively lying about it and telling people “maybe next year”. 

I’m not telling work because I don’t want them thinking about maternity leave, and potentially jeapordizing myself from getting promotions…or even risking my job.

I’m not telling family because they are SO baby crazy that it would turn into a pregnancy witch hunt. 

Plus, I just don’t want to jinx it.

Post # 38
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I just told one close friend who had a hard time TTC but now has a beautiful baby. I figured she would be a good friend to lean on if DH’s and my attempts don’t go so well, since she went through tough times herself in the past.

Post # 39
Member
1597 posts
Bumble bee

I told a few close friends about my women’s problems and that I am going to a fertility clinic but I kind of regret it now. They have empathy but only Darling Husband and I truly understand what we are going through. It doesn’t help that several family friends are pregnant and then I get down and feel I’m not normal because it’s happening for them and not me. Keeping hopeful this is our year. 

Post # 40
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

I would never announce that we were TTC. I know people who have and have struggled. I feel bad for them… because they struggle and because they announced how excited they were and then nothing happened. I wouldn’t want anybody feeling pity for me.

My husband and I will be starting in the next month or so. I have only told one person and only because she asked what our baby plans were and if she could hold onto some baby items for us. I trust her and I will look to her for advice. She will be the shoulder I cry on if we are unable to have kids, so she will know anyway.

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