(Closed) Did you tell people when you were TTC/NTNP?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Our best friends know. At first Mr. LK wanted to keep it quiet. But the process we have to go through for a baby isn’t easy, and I need the support of my ladies. Since we’re all in such a tight group, that means Mr. LK’s guy friends know, too, because my ladies are married to his guys. Honestly, everyone in our group is very cool about it. Not a single person would dare ask if we are “pregnant yet”. They have enough tact to know that such behavior would not be helpful.

Post # 17
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

LarLa:  I know! My friend messaged me on honeymoon to ask if I was pregnant yet! I’m taking all in good jest now but it will prob be a different story if we still haven’t conceived in a year!

Post # 18
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I told a couple of very close friends that we were NTNP, but mostly because I had also been diagnosed with PCOS and was very open with those 2 friends about it and our plans – and to be honest I didn’t think I would get pregnant as soon as I did. We did not want family to know mostly because we are very private and I did not want to open those doors for constant questions about it. That would drive me crazy. My Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law already ask about grandkids frequently and Darling Husband would always tell them “in a few years” to shut them up. 

Post # 19
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Darling Husband wants to be very private about it, but we haven’t hidden the fact that we want children, but not yet. I’m only 24, so there’s no rush in that, but we really want DH’s parents involved in our children’s lives, and they’re already 64. So we’re thinking we’ll start in 3 or 4 years. I think when we start trying I’ll tell people that we’re thinking about having them soon and leave it at that, and if we have trouble, then I’ll tell probably just my BFF because if I told my sister I think she’d accidentally tell other people 😛

Post # 20
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We’re not making some big announcement, but we’ve told a few people we’re TTC. I figure that, if it takes a while, we’ll need support. I think one of the reasons infertility us so hard is that people don’t talk about it, so I don’t want to treat it like some taboo subject.

Post # 21
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My best friends and mom know. That’s it.

Post # 22
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

In retrospect, I wish I had never told anyone. It’s been a few months and I’m in a group of people who got pregnant immediately. I now wish no one knew what we were up to…

Post # 23
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re ttc now and no way are we telling anybody. I don’t want everybody knowing that we’re doing the dance with no pants all the time. 

Post # 24
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

FromA2B2013:  We arent trying but we have already discussed that we will NOT be telling anyone and when it does happen, no announcements until 12 weeks. I am a private person and if something does happen, I would want to keep it to myself, honestly. 

My best friend is 6 weeks pregnant and she told A TON of people they were about to start trying to have baby and told the family when she got pregnant (she told me when she got her positive pregnancy test). I feel so nervous for her! 

Post # 25
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My best friend knows and Darling Husband told his brother. im so glad we did tell them because now it’s taking over 10 months and it’s good to talk to my friend about the frustration. HOWEVER. Darling Husband also told my Mother-In-Law after she kept badgering and assuming I was already pregnant (and lecturing me on my food habits as if I was!). That was a bad idea because she is so focused on nutrition and preservatives and a whole bunch of other crap, that if we don’t get pregnant soon it will be my fault for eating poorly or whatever. 

 

I personally think its all about WHO you tell. 

 

I i like that I told my friend because she has been pregnant twice and miscarried once, and she’s a wealth of knowledge and comfort. DHs brother is a rock of support and can take a secret to his grave. So telling them is a nonissue 

Post # 26
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve told my sister, my Mum and 2 close girlfriends, and I think his parents know that we’re TTC but they don’t ask any questions.

I agree about not telling people apart from a few people you can trust. When people ask me, I say I’m focusing on my career right now and children will come in the future. It’s nobody’s business.

Post # 27
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

And I also know someone who told the entire office that she was pregnant at 6 weeks… and a week later, she miscarried 🙁 The whole office was asking her questions… and now it’s taking them months to conceive again… and everybody keeps watching her for signs of a second pregnancy. I would HATE that. I’m not telling anyone until at least 12 weeks when it happens.

Post # 28
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s a little different for us as a same-sex couple because we need medical intervention.  People are always asking about the “how,” which we’re happy to discuss, but inevitably leads to the “when”!  We’ve told several people that we will be going the anonymous donor sperm route, and a few of our closest friends even know we’ve made the purchase.  I’d like to think we won’t tell anyone the timing of the actual procedure, but we’ll probably end up telling one or two people.

Post # 29
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve told my two best friends, but not our families or anyone else. They have been great for advice and one of them had trouble getting pregnant so I feel like they’ll be very supportive. Nobody else though! I don’t want people asking. I’m older but I think people assume that we are going to wait a year or two.

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