- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
@moniquaa: we did not really tell anyone until 14 weeks, when we told family. After family knew, we started telling friends. We waited 14 weeks instead of 12 just because 14 wks was Christmas. I might have told family a bit earlier but I couldn’t tell anyone without telling my mom first, and she specifically told me she didn’t want to know until 12 weeks. She had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, before me, and everybody knew about her pregnancy and that was really hard on her to have to update all these people with the news that she wasn’t having a baby anymore. She just wanted to spare me that. But it was REALLY hard keeping it a secret for so long, and lots of people suspected before we told them.
If you know your family would rather know earlier, and you don’t think they’d blab the news to a bunch of people who you DON’T want to know that early, then I don’t see any harm in telling them if you are comfortable with it. In general though, I think it’s best to wait to 12 weeks. I know a lot of people feel differently about this, like, ‘if i have a miscarriage, I want all these people to be helping me through it’. But the flip side of that is, they will all be going through the pain of it with you too, especially if they would have been close relatives of the baby. My mom and Mother-In-Law are pretty sensitive, moreso than me, and I wanted to spare them that potential saddness so we waited until we were pretty sure.