When my sisters husband leaves his socks balled up in the corner of the bathroom it makes her *actually* homicidal.
I’ve been married to my husband for thirteen years…I cannot tell you the last time I was aware of picking up his socks and putting them in the hamper. I just don’t care about having to do that. (When he leaves a jar of something that is *this close* to being finished in the fridge instead of just finishing it, well, that’s another story)
The bottom line is, every couple is their own little funky island that operates with its own rules and customs. It’s not about etiquette and societal norms with your husband, ladies…your customs and traditions transcend alllll of that. Things that work in one relationship will never fly in another…”the height of rudeness” in one relationship doesn’t bat an eye in someone else’s. Some chicks want to be a part of picking the ring. Some would never dream of it. Nobody is wrong. Who cares what anybody else does so long as what you’re doing works for you and you’re partner?
You guys do you. The sooner you accept that your marriage arrangement needs to work for THE TWO OF YOU and that no one else’s opinions really matter, the better off you’ll be.
To answer the question:
When we were 19 and made it “forever” we spent $12 on a little silver band, $140 on our wedding and had a beautiful and practically unimaginably simple ceremony on the banks of our favorite river, and we invested our money in a beautiful home by a lake and started growing a life and family. Thirteen years, three kids, and so so so much love later, I’ve just finished designing my three stone ring and eternity band set and couldn’t be happier with what I’ve picked. He reached the limits of his ability to care months ago. I’ve been steadily obsessed for…oh…hahaha a while now.
He doesn’t give a single flip about jewellery and I don’t need him to. He picks things that have engines in them, I pick things that are related to design and aesthetics, we parent, cook, and make financial decisions together. Everything else is case by case. It doesn’t matter who paid for it, there’s no such thing as “my money” in my marriage, only “ours”, and he wants me to love what I wear on my finger. That’s worth any amount money to him.
PS: (not directed at anyone in general) if you are waiting for a proposal and have no idea what your fiance can actually afford, you guys aren’t talking about the right shit (but again, whatever floats your boat…that’s just my opinion).