Did you tell your Mom?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Hey 🙂

Such a tough one. 

Following to see what others say.

I tell my mom most things but then I know she’d tell my dad and then I’d feel obliged to tell my husband’s parents too. TOUGH!

Would probably wait to tell everyone at 12 weeks TBH. Keep it a secret between Darling Husband and I.

Post # 3
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

We told both sets of parents on the same day, around 7 weeks. I would have found it unfair to tell one set of parents earlier and I know my mum would have felt that way too and that she would have told me to tell my inlaws too. In the end, there’s no difference between my mum and my DH’s mum, they were both going to be grandmothers. While I could understand it, I think I would silently be a bit hurt if I ever have a son and the DIL tells her parents about a grandbaby weeks before I am told. Just something to consider!

Post # 4
Member
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Bunnyang :  we arent TTC yet (next summer!!!) But we talked about this with Fiance and we decided that when I find out I tell him ASAP but in person and then we can tell my mom (+my siblings who live with her), and FI’s parents and FI’s brother and wife. We are not waiting till 12 weeks to tell the above people because in case of MC we will want their support!  I haven’t decided yet if I wanna wait till the 12 weeks to tell my dad or just after everyone mentined here, (but he is definatelly not allowed to tell his gf until AFTER delivery, she’s an evil biatch, dont need her sending me her stupid vibes) After 12 weeks we can tell all friends and the rest of the family.

Post # 5
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I told my mom at 5 wks (6 wks now). I mostly told because my sister knew and they were spending the next weekend together and she can’t keep a secret. Also, we’ve been doing infertility treatments which they all knew about. Not telling the in-laws until we see them next weekend!

Post # 6
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

I told my mom right away, and she held it in until we told the rest of the family just after 13 weeks. Dad was rattled that she didn’t tell him but he is a terrible secret keeper and told some family before I had the chance. After that he laughed it off realizing why we withheld that information.

Post # 7
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not pregnant and not TTC until next month after our wedding. But we’ve discussed this extensively so I wanted to weigh in. 

My parents are two of my best friends, and Fiance is becoming just as close with them. We know that we will have a really difficult time TTC with medical issues, and we’ve decided that we want to tell my parents when we are TTC and if we get a BFP. We are very aware that it is highly likely we could have a complication with an early pregnancy, but we would both want the support of my parents if we did have a MC. 

Fiance is not close with his family whatsoever. We have decided that we won’t tell his family when we are TTC and if we are lucky enough to get a BFP, we won’t share with them until the 12+ week mark, when we share with everyone else. 

In a normal family situation, I totally agree with whitepeony: I’d for sure feel hurt if my kid told the other set of grandparents before they told us. I just hope a kid of mine wouldn’t have to deal with a family situation like FI’s! 

Post # 8
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

Also (duh, I’m so sorry…this should have been first!): CONGRATULATIONS! Hooray!

Post # 9
Member
622 posts
Busy bee

I told my mom after the first ultrasound (8 weeks with my first pregnancy). She is not great at dealing with sad emotions, so I knew I would not want to tell her about a possibly miscarriage. Obviously your relationship with your own mom will be different! But for me, I wanted to wait until we were pretty certain the pregnancy was going to result in a baby. I think I was about 15 weeks when we told my ILs, because they cannot keep anything secret and we didn’t want the whole family knowing until the second trimester.

Post # 10
Member
2298 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I told my mom right away.  I wouldn’t be able to keep that from her, and I knew she’d be able to keep it secret.  We are very close, so I also really wanted her support through the first trimester.  I told my dad a few weeks later, and my in laws right after that.  The rest of our extended family found out at 12/13 weeks.  Various friends knew earlier as well, but I only told people that I knew would be there for me and support me should anything happen.

Post # 11
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Firstly, congrats!

As for your question, we told my parents right away. I got my BFP (at 4 weeks exactly) on the Tuesday before Fathers Day so we told my parents when we saw them that weekend. Darling Husband told his dad at about 11 weeks, and hasn’t told his mom personally, though she knows through the family grapevine now. We’re both close with my family, he’s close with his dad, and his relationship with his mom is strained. We told our closest friends (the people who stood up for us at our wedding) gradually between 4-12 weeks.

We told my parents/our friends because we knew that if I miscarried we’d need their support. The original plan was to wait until 12 weeks to tell the rest of the family, but my grandfather was very ill, so we told him at 6 weeks and he passed away exactly a week later. My grandma on the other side was planning a trip to where we live for just a few months before my due date, so we told her before she booked her flights, she’s now coming the month after I’m due 😉

We ended up telling more people early on than we had originally planned, because I had bad morning sickness and couldn’t hide it from my coworkers…they had to cover for me so I could be sick at work.

Post # 12
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I found out through a blood test I was pregnant. My mom and sisters knew that I went to the doctor so they were waiting to hear back about the results. I told my husband right away of course and told my family 3 hours later. At that time I didn’t even know how far along I was or if everything were fine. I turned out to be 8 weeks pregnant. But I’m really close with my family, so no matter what I wanted them to know.

But my family lives far away, so I encourage him to tell his mother for some support close to home…Big mistake! She couldn’t keep her mouth shut and told everybody. She even told his brothers before he had a chance to do it himself. So next time she can find out when I’m ready for the world to know.

 

Post # 13
Member
2967 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my mom was the first person i told (within a week of my pregnancies). we don’t follow the 12 week rule because i think it’s kind of dumb. bad things can happen at 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 13 weeks, 30 weeks….so it doesn’t make sense to me to have to keep anything a secret.

Post # 14
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My mom was the first person after Darling Husband that I told. There was no way I could keep it in!

Post # 15
Member
2629 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

bubblyx :  Judging by the way my mum handled my Sister confiding her pregnancy, I won’t be telling my mum until 12 weeks when I get pregnant. FI’s Mum had a lot of miscarriages before and after him, so I want to be at a reasonable term before everyone finds out.

My sister told my mum she was pregnant on Xmas Eve last year. She was 4 weeks and asked my mum not to tell ANYONE because she wanted to call our nan and send my Brother and I the 12 week scans to announce it.

Christmas Day, my mum announced it to literally everyone as they walked in. My sister was SO upset that mum had ruined the surprise for everyone, and I had to tell my Step Dad to tell her that we’d been out of the room so hadn’t heard it.

My Mum is bad with secrets.

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