Did you tell your Mom?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i love my mother more than anything but she cannot keep a secret to save her life.  waiting until i’m 10 weeks (just a few days now!) to tell her, and I’m so excited to see her reaction!

Post # 47
Member
3821 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Bunnyang :  Firstly, congrats on your pregnancy! Sending positive vibes your way for a healthy pregnancy ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m not pregnant, but trying (and for quite a bit, so Darling Husband and I have run through every single scenario we can think of when we do get the BFP). We are very close with my parents, so I will definitely be telling my mom right away just because for my parents especially, they have seen firsthand how much we’ve been struggling. I will try to hold out as long as possible so that I can hopefully tell her with an ultrasound. I have this magical idea of making it a big thing, but I know myself, and I’ll probably be blurting it out as soon as the line turns pink. For my dad, because he worries a bit, I may wait until I have my first ultrasound, but I don’t think he’d appreciate being kept in the dark for so long and he’ll be very excited, so I’ll let him know ASAP–the only thing is, he’s a blabbermouth, so he’d have to be sworn to secrecy and that’ll be hard for him. It’ll almost be kinder to keep him in the dark until we’re ready to tell people haha.

As for the in-laws . . . I told Darling Husband he may tell his dad whenever he is comfortable. We don’t really see his dad and his dad doesn’t have much contact with the rest of the family. His mother, however, we will not be telling until we are ready to tell everyone else we know. His mom can be very negative about things and while we are celebrating a pregnancy that I have been told I shouldn’t even be able to experience, I don’t want to hear her negative comments so early on. DH’s cousin announced she was pregnant last month and Mother-In-Law commented on Facebook asking her if she had “asked her husband’s permission first” before getting pregnant again and saying that it’s a big responsibility and that Mother-In-Law didn’t think it was appropriate to have another baby so soon . . . she said this online, publicly, to this girl directly. If you have those types of thoughts–you keep them the hell to yourself! When Brother-In-Law and SIL got pregnant, she was very negative about it for several months, so she will find out when we are more comfortable.

Post # 48
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

We are planning on starting TTC a year from now. We’ve talked about this and have agreed to share the news as soon as we find out with people who will be supportive with advice. This will mainly be my mom, my aunt, my cousin who’s a OBGYN and his SIL. We know these people will keep their mouths shut. We leave on another continent and none of his family is here, so Darling Husband wants to wait till the third trimester to tell his parents. His family creates a lot of stress for him and wants a stress-free pregnancy with positive and supportive people. 

Post # 49
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it is generally easier and better to wait for your 12 week scan. 

Post # 50
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I told my mother a week after we found out ๐Ÿ™‚ I was about 6 weeks when I told her. Keeping a secret would be awesome in theory but it is almost impossible in my family. 

Post # 51
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We told my mom after the first ultrasound both times. The first time we waited 12 weeks to tell my inlaws. The second time we told them shortly after the first ultrasound because it was bad and we needed their help. Next time, I’ll probably tell both sides after the first ultrasound but I might tell my mom after a positive test to get some support since I lost the last pregnancy. I used to be a person that waited until 12 ish weeks to tell but now I think I’d tell immediately family after seeing a heartbeat. The risk of miscarriage is pretty low then and the benefit of support is worth the risk of having to share bad news. Plus if people know what you are going through, then they won’t ask when you are going to have (another) a baby which hurts after a loss. 

Post # 52
Member
9091 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i told my mom 3 days after we got a call from the doctor (ours was an IVF pregnancy) so my mom knew we were going through treatment.

we didn’t tell DH’s mom until 7 weeks when we had our first ultrasound.

Post # 53
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

I don’t have a mother but with Dirty Delete1, I called my sister the second the stick changed colors. I told her even before telling S/O. The rest of the family was told within days. I was only around 6 weeks.

We had problems staying pregnant between Dirty Delete1-DD2 so with my second child, no one outside of S/O and Dirty Delete1 was told a thing until almost my 8th month. I remember calling my Daddy that April and telling him and when he asked when the baby was due, I said “June” and he was like “Wait…this June as in 2 months from now?” Its a personal decision but having had gone through losing pregnancies and complications and such with the family in the loop, I knew for myself God forbid if anything happened again I didnt want the added stress of them knowing/gossiping/trying to comfort me. In my situation, it made things worse. 

But theres really no right or wrong. Its really up to you. Congratulations and wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy. 

Post # 54
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

Our families are THE WORST with secrets, and my parents actually ruined our engagement with their awful opinions on wedding planning. They were truly awful toward Darling Husband and me. That completely changed our relationship so we will not be telling them until we can’t hide it anymore. 

However, we have super supportive friends that I can’t wait to tell!

Post # 56
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

Bunnyang :  We told both sets on the same day of our first scan after we saw the heartbeat, which was 5w0d ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 57
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Bunnyang :  Congrats! I am glad the news went over well! I think when to tell people is a very personal decision, and I am glad you found a time that worked for you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 58
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I told my mum, dad and brother over FaceTime at 5 weeks as they live on a different continent. They can keep a secret. We also told my husband’s parents and siblings straight away. They also kept it quiet. A week later we found out we had twins so told them. A week later we lost one of the babies. I didn’t want to tell anyone else due to possible complications. We told extended family and friends at about 14 weeks. I’m due in 10 days.

Post # 59
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I got the BFP on a Thursday, and we told my parents that Saturday… so just a few days later. We told DH’s parents (and his siblines) the following Wednesday. I told my sister that week, the Friday, as I was visiting her.

We kept it to only them until about 12 weeks or so (I don’t rememebr exactly when), then told some more family… before we made it public to other distant family/friends/public.

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