(Closed) Did you wait to finish school/career change before getting engaged?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - Pantagis Renaissance

Nope! We got engaged last year, about a month before I went away for school to get my Bachelor’s degree. Though we’re a bit older … I have my associate degree already, and I’m starting a bit late (I was 24 when I started the program, 25 now).

We are waiting until I graduate, get certified, and find work before we get married, however. Soo we’ll tying the knot right around our 11 year anniversary..which is crazy to think about lol

Post # 17
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

My fi and I have been together since grade 10 in highschool, and got engaged during the summer between my second and third year of university.  We’re getting married next summer, right after I graduate (he’s been working since graduation from high school).  I’ll be headed into a masters program the fall after our wedding, so I would say that education and transitions haven’t gotten in our way!  I also own a local entertainment business, which really has had no bearing on our wedding plans either.

It’s our philosophy that if we have the money for the celebration we want, why wait?  Children, however, will be a VERY different story!

Post # 18
Member
46 posts
Newbee

In a way, yes.

We are still putting off getting engaged even though we are both pretty sure we will eventually, because we have other priorities. I am in graduate school, and he plans to start college as well and get himself a career. We’re also pretty broke and can’t afford the wedding we would want right now.

That isn’t to say everyone should do this though. If you wait until everything in life is perfect,t hen it will never happen. You just have to decide when is the right time for you. Personally, I see nothing wrong with doing what you’re describing while married.

Post # 19
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

We waited till I finished my program (4 years HBA+ 1 year BEd) as SO is in an apprenticeship program (working a good job and does 2 months of an accelerated program to get his licences so financially he’s okay). I just graduated this year so am anxiously waiting now! ๐Ÿ˜› I think it’s a good idea financially. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
nzurikabisa:  My husband and I initially wanted to wait until he was done with school to get married but we just couldn’t wait!!! I’m done with school and working in my field but he has another year left of school (he’s 31) and we just got married earlier this month. I have zero regrets about not waiting. 

Post # 21
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
nzurikabisa:  We didn’t wait to be engaged but we did plan to wait until I finished college to get married. It didn’t work out completely so we’re getting married November and I’ll graduate in May

Post # 22
Member
25 posts
Newbee

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nzurikabisa:  I hear you. SO and I are trying to decide the same thing right now. Schooling can throw such a wrench, because it means there are so many unknowns (so for instance we are worried about not graduating on time, not being able to get a job after graduation, etc). There is no right answer, but I think as if you both know that you want to be engaged and can work out a plan where being engaged does not mess with either of your future educational/career plans, then getting engaged before you graduate can work!

For example, SO and I have two plans we have come up with that will allow us both to finish our career goals, and get engaged as soon as we feel we are ready (I am 25& he is 30). I am beginning my MS in September and will finish in December 2016. I am toying with the idea of getting a PhD after that (which would be another 5 years). He is applying to physician assistant school right now, which is a 2.5 year program. If he gets in he will finish in Summer 2018. The thought right now is that we will get engaged once he figures out where/if he is going to school next fall, so that is early next year. We then worked out two options:

If he gets in, then after I complete my master’s I will move to be with him at school and work until he is finished. If I decide to get a PhD, I will then apply so that I start my PhD when he finishes school and he will get a job near where I get my doctorate.

If he doesn’t get in, he will wait to apply again until I finish my master’s. Once I finish my master’s we will move in together and we will apply together (him to PA schools and me for my PHD) to schools near each other.

So yeah, IMO it can work to get engaged before school is over! Just depends how flexible your plans can be. Good luck!

Post # 23
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
nzurikabisa:  We didn’t. We started dating at 18/19 (freshman year of college) and after we graduated, we moved in together (400+ miles away), my (now) husband started grad school and I worked. Then, he decided to go to law school. If we had waited to get engaged, we would have been together for over 8 years, and neither of us wanted to wait that long. We got engaged after 5.5 years together; he had just started his first year of law school. We got married at the end of his second year (about a month and a half ago), and he still has one year left. I’m so, so glad we didn’t wait!

Post # 24
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We got engaged right before we started our senior year of undergrad. We will be out of school for a year by the time of our wedding!

Post # 25
Member
11 posts
Newbee

We started dating when were were 16 & 18, and wanted to wait until we convocated with our bachelors to get engaged. We both convocated in April and just got engaged June 25th after we both found jobs in our fields. It was worth it to wait until we were settled to get enaged as we are better able to enjoy the process.

Post # 26
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We went through a similar struggle. In the end, he proposed 1/2 way through med school, but we decided to wait until after graduation to get married. This was largely because we wanted time to go on a honeymoon and his current school schedule didn’t really allow that. But we already live together and share in all of his ups & downs and my career changes, so I honestly feel like not much would be different if we had gotten married earlier- it was just our personal preference and what worked out so we would be less stressed about planning, etc.

 

But getting engaged early for us was good, since I knew him finishing school would mean we might have to move and I already knew early on that we were committed to each other and was ready to make sacrifices for his won career. Plus it gave us 2 years to plan! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 27
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

Me and my SO will be engaged right around the time of our 2 year anniversary. I am in nursing school right now and my soon to be fiancé is headed to France to pursue a military career. If he stayed where I am we probably would have waited to get engaged. However we will not be getting married until he is done with quite a few years of service. By then I will be done with nursing school. since we will be long distance for awhile I brought up the idea of getting engaged now, mainly because I wanted to know that even as I wait for him for so long, at the end of it all I know for sure we will have a life together. Plus the added bonus of getting EVERYTHING paid in full for my dream wedding and getting my body looking it’s absolute best.

Post # 28
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I got married while still in college. Depending on your/your man’s financial situation, you can qualify for more financial aid than you did as a single person or lose it altogether. Sometims you can get a large tax writeoff for the spouse in college. So I’d definitely have a money talk to figure out how you would be affected as a couple before choosing the best course of action for you.

Post # 29
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

According to his timeline, I will still be working towards my master’s degree when he proposes and we will likely get married the summer after my graduation. We have both been out of undergraduate for a few years now- THAT was important to us. However, graduate/professional school is a different story. We have matured enough that we are comfortable with this decision. He does plan on going to professional school in a few years, but we wil likely be married before that happens as he wants to get some other things under his belt first (currently an EMT and wants to become a paramedic before entering PA school).

Post # 30
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Yes. I think that’s the right move ๐Ÿ™‚

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