(Closed) Did you will you use gifts before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did you use any gifts received before the wedding?

    Yes, any gifts that came in!

    Yes, but only shower gifts!

    No way!

    Other

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m going to try my best to wait.  The issue for us is we don’t have a whole lot of storage space so I don’t know where to put everything we get prior to the wedding.  Possibly under the bed.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    In case of a cancelled wedding (God forbid), brides and grooms do need to return all wedding gifts, so it really is best to wait until “I do”.

    Post # 19
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    hell yes we used them!

    Post # 20
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @Future MrsB:  It’s not an etiquette thing but purely superstition, I think. Because if the wedding gets called off, you have to return them, but if you’ve used them then you CAN’T return them, so you’d be screwed! I think every bride chooses which of the superstitions they ‘believe’ in … it’s a little more fun that way 🙂

    Post # 21
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I have a feeling that we’re not going to recieve a single thing before our wedding, so no. I think I would use something if I really wanted to, though.

    Post # 23
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We’ve only gotten one so far, but will use any that come in.

    Post # 24
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We haven’t received anything yet (we’ve only just sent out our invites) but I can’t imagine the sense in waiting to use our gifts.  They’re gifts – they don’t come with any stipulations that I’m aware of!

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Of course no one thinks that their wedding will get postponed or cancelled, no one, yet it happens, so if we all cultivate the etiquette of not using gifts until after the wedding, then we don’t have to feel like we’re admitting our wedding might not happen by waiting to use them because we’re all doing the polite, prudent thing and waiting.

    Post # 26
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    View original reply
    @PinkFlemingo:  That specifically makes it an etiquette thing, not a superstition thing. A superstition would be thinking that using them means you are dooming yourself to your wedding not happening, or something like that. What makes it a matter of etiquette is that if you did have to return those gifts and couldn’t, you’ve done something extremely rude and now there is a burden on you to somehow find the money to reimburse the giver.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We don’t live together, so all the gifts we received at our engagement party are sitting in an extra room at my house, I live with my parents. I did have to break open our hand mixer though. I was making icing for Easter cookies and my mom’s hand mixer died, so I got mine out…turns out I freakin LOVE the one we got.

    Post # 28
    Member
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We’ve been using them as they come in. We have a small apartment, it’s getting full already with wedding DIY projects, and I’m not going to walk around piles of boxes for the next two months when I can discard all the packaging and put them in the proper places. After all, tripping over gift boxes might start the fight that would cause the wedding not to happen! 😉

    Seriously though, if we had to call off the wedding for some reason, I would hope that the people we’ve invited would be more concerned about our emotional states than thinking “Well, crap, she better return that china setting I got her ASAP.”

    Post # 29
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    We used our gifts as they came in. We 100% knew we were getting married, so we were not worried about having to return the gifts. Most of the gifts didn’t come with receipts anyway.

    Post # 30
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    View original reply
    @DeathByDesign:  The receipt is immaterial. You wouldn’t return them to the store. You would mail them back to the giver.

    Post # 31
    Member
    2468 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    my mil and I actually just had a conversation about this– dh and I were at an engaged couple’s home and were served wine out of the very same glasses we had just bought for them, and I was sort of shocked! mil and I both agreed it’s bad luck to use gifts before the wedding (except shower or engagement gifts–those are fair game), and dh and I waited until we were married to open/use ours, though I did send thank you notes before the wedding. we weren’t sure if maybe this was a Jewish superstition–since we’re Jewish and would never have considered using the gifts, and the couple getting married isn’t Jewish–but I think it’s prob more widespread than that…

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