(Closed) Did your current relationship start as an affair?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did your relationship start as an affair?
    Yes, on his part. : (31 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, on my part. : (70 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, we were both in a relationship. : (23 votes)
    4 %
    No. : (499 votes)
    77 %
    Not my current relationship, but a past one started as an affair. : (25 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 137
    Member
    4655 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I voted yes, on his part.  But two or three days after our first date he broke it off with her.

    Post # 139
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Edited: I somehow managed to comment in this thread something that was meant for an entirely different thread! Lol

    But, while I’m here, I’ll say that I don’t think I would want to enter a relationship under those cicrumstances, personally. I don’t think I’d even be able to get to know a man who was in a serious relationship/engaged/married well enough to believe he is ‘the one‘ for me.

    So I don’t understand the arguement that you can’t help it if you meet your soulmate & he/she is married already. How did you become so intimate with him/her that you know he/she is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life? If they are already committed to someone else, IMO, it should be impossible for this to even happen. Unless, of course, you are unaware of the person’s relationship status, in which case the person would have to be manipulating/lying to both his/her current SO & to you. 

    Post # 140
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    And last post to clarify: I don’t mean this to apply to some of the Bees above whose new SO was in a pending divorce at the time. I do, however, mean all my above statements to apply to anyone who is not formally in the process of separation/divorce. If they are still living with their spouse, it’s wrong, IMO. 

    Post # 141
    Member
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Nope 🙂

    Post # 143
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Zhabeego:  hmmm you’re going a bit off the rails

    Post # 144
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    secretlyabee

    not I or him but many friends have. like his brother and wife. they were both with other ppl before hand.

    TWO of my friends parents, my friend/nieghbor and my DHs own grandpa (how they met his grandma) was the baby sitter !!!! im just floored by this. we were all hangning out last night and they were talking about how my friends dad and his “babysitter” girlfriend, they are still married, but were so affectionate then. and im like are you serious! that grosses me out. i know they are still married, have kids and are older than me now but….yuck.  both families are close with everyone in it and the children before and after get along. To me, I couldnt imagine !! the poor wives.

    Post # 145
    Member
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I was casually dating my s/o’s close friend. My coworker had a HUGE crush on my s/o and begged me to take her to a party knowing he would be there. I didnt want to go since I was trying to break off the ties I had but gave in. Majority of my night was spent fighting off s/o’s friend and s/o too!! Haha I couldn’t stand him since high school, thought he was an obnoxious d-bag…haha 

    Long story short we saw one another a week later with my coworker, they hooked up twice and i dropped ties with both guys. S/O wouldn’t leave me alone for like a month and a half before I finally gave in and gave him a shot.. We’ve been together since! 

     

    ETA: my coworker hates me because I stole her “man” (they drunkenly hooked up twice and he wasn’t interested..) his friend was cool with it but s/o hates being around him because he hates that I dated him.. 

    Do I wish we had met differently? Hell yes but I count my blessings that he’s in my life and if anyone asks we look at one another, laugh and say “through mutual friends”

    Post # 146
    Member
    2552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Nope. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself/the guilt if I were having an affair.

    And if I knew it was an affair on his end, that would be a really big turn-off/dealbreaker for me anyway. I know it’s not as big a deal to other people, but I wouldn’t really want to be with that kind of guy anyway.

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