(Closed) Did your FI ask your dad first?

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did your FI ask your mom/dad/parents' permission to marry you?

    Yes, and I wanted him to.

    Yes, and I didn't want him to.

    No, and I wanted him to.

    No, and I didn't want him to.

    Other (please explain in the comments).

  • Post # 62
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Fiance didn’t “ask” my dad, he “told” him… My dad and I have had lots of up and downs and Fiance has been there for them so he knows we’re not super close. Dad and I are better now (or for the moment…) so my family knew it was happening but he did not “ask” him.

    Post # 63
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yes, my fiance did ask my dad (it’s really mom and dad since they were together in the living room) before he propose to me that weekend.

    (Fiance actually did it all on his own…He’s very traditional…so..that’s nice of him to ask my parents for blessing~~ )

    My fiance actually bought my dad an iPad a week before he asks for my hand in marriage and reminded my dad “Uncle…I bought you an iPad 3 last week…” LOL — He said the iPad was part of his plan….So…technically…my dad “sold me off” for an iPad 3…LOL

    Post # 64
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I voted “Yes, and I wanted him to”. I pretty much thought it was a dumb idea in our situation but my Dad felt really strongy about it and my husband and I agreed we didn’t care enough to make a production about it.

    He didn’t really end up asking, jsut caled after he had the ring and told him that he was planning on proposing. My dad then told him that there would be “no returns” like my mom’s dad told him. I think this is why he wanted to be asked in the first place, it amused him 🙂

    Post # 65
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I haven’t been very close with my dad since early high school.  I told Fiance that I didn’t place much importance on whether he got my dad’s permission or not, so it was up to him.

    But…  I beat him to it and proposed first, so it didn’t really matter in the long run.

    Oh, and my dad ended up being really excited anyway (:

    Post # 66
    19 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes and I wanted him to! My dad is my hero. We have always been close, and I come from a traditional family. I know if VB didn’t ask, there would have been some discomfort and dissatisfaction with my father. Thats no way to start a new life together as hisband and wife–My dad knew we would be getting married someday, but it shows a level of respect and also tradition. Both VB and I are traditional as well as my family. It was perfect for us

    Post # 67
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We were on vacation in Disney World when he proposed. We had spent the morning/afternoon at Magic Kingdom and headed back to the hotel to shower and change for a nice dinner since it was our four year anniversary. Little did I know while I was in the shower, he called my dad to ask for his permission. Sneaky, sneaky. . . but I’m glad he did. =) I’m a little old fashioned in that sense, and my dad was the first person I called to tell that I said yes!

    Post # 68
    1621 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Nope. That was how I wanted it though. And how my parents preferred lol.  Actually, my sister who is recently engaged, her Fiance DID ask before proposing and my parents said it was super awkward for them (seeing as they don’t believe in this tradition) and they just had to pretend to be touched by it to not offend my sister’s Fiance who was making a big deal out of askng lol

    Post # 69
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Fiance knew that when he was going to propose, I would like him to ask my Father first. I was so touched and my Father was beyond ecstatic that he asked for permission. It really made my Father feel like his input was important. My Father ended up saying to him “Finally, about time, been waiting for this for awhile now” lol

    Post # 70
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We’re 30 and 31 and once he had the ring, he just couldn’t wait.  He made the decision based on how much he knows that my dad already approves.  We also own a home together and have been together over five years..  

    My dad’s reaction when we called (he was out of the state): “It’s about f&cking time!”

    Post # 71
    625 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I had told DH before that I would really appreciate it if he were to ask both my mom and my dad. It made him really nervous, but I told him it would mean a lot to me. So one day we went to my parents for a cookout… I excused my self to go to the restroom, and he pulled both of my parents onto the back porch and asked for my hand. I came back to the living room none the wiser. It wasn’t until I got in the car and on the way home that he was like “I asked your parents.” I was so excited and proud of him! We went ring shopping the next day, and it was so cute to talk to mom and know that she was “keeping a secret” from me… I’m glad I stayed quiet about it too, because when I got the ring and he “officially” proposed, I ran to show my mom at work, and she cried and cried and then retold the story of him asking and how absolutely sweet it was and how touched she was that he would ask them.

    It was the closest to a sort of suprise proposal I got… and I really wish I had been a fly on that wall, because I would have LOVED to have heard that conversation.

    Post # 72
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    He didn’t & I didn’t want him to.  I wouldn’t have minded if he *told* my mom beforehand, but asking?  Absolutely not.  And I definitely didn’t want him to ask my dad anything because we’re not close.  At all. I’ve always felt the tradition was kind of silly, especially since I’m almost 30 & have been out of my mom’s house for over 10 years.

    Post # 73
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    No my Fiance didn’t ask my dad reason is this is my second engagement.  Yes, ive been married before and almost 40 yrs old and have kids.  I think your Fiance would ask dad if you are younger and no kids.  First wedding is more traditional ways then second one! 

    Post # 74
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My father passed away before we got engaged.  I don’t think my Fiance would have asked my dad if he was living, but I wouldn’t have minded either way.  My dad really liked my Fiance though so I knew he would have said yes.  🙂

    Post # 75
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Fiance informed my Dad that he was going to ask, but there was no asking of permission. We’re in our 30s and we’ve been living together for five years, we can handle the big kid decisions. But he called my Dad to tell him nice stuff about me and how he was planning on asking. I’m glad Fiance at least informed my Dad in advance because it showed a lot of respect (and Fiance knows I have a lot of respect for my Dad).

    Dad told stepmom and they were pretty excited. She said that when they were away for my half-sister’s college graduation with my grandmom, they almost said something about a wedding. My grandmom is the type who in her excitement would have called me to tell me she heard I was going to get married. LOL. When I called her to tell her about the engagement her words were: “Maybe I WILL get a wedding before I die!”


    Post # 76
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    I voted other because my dad was deceased, but he didn’t ask my mom or stepfather either.

    The topic ‘Did your FI ask your dad first?’ is closed to new replies.

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