- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2020
I got engaged in December, and I’m the first of my friends to be getting married. My fiancé and I got lucky (and worked damn hard to be honest) and ended up in rock-solid careers pretty early on, so we’ve just happened to find ourselves ready for marriage a bit earlier than most in our group. And to be clear, we aren’t even marrying young. I’m 25 and he is 30. Our friends just happen to be flailing a little bit more financially/professionally than we have, so a lot of them aren’t jumping into marriage yet.
Everyone in my life knows that we’re a solid couple and in a great place to get married, and my family/close friends have been wonderfully happy and supportive. But I’ve noticed some people just acting weird!
One of my closest friends who has been adamant about not wanting to be married to her partner for a while longer for many reasons (career related and otherwise) suddenly is *obsessed* with getting married. In fact, when she spends time with me, she talks about her possible engagement/when he’s going to propose to her/the ring/her wedding ideas and plans almost nonstop! Which is fine, and I’m super excited for them to get engaged too (I’m even chatting with her partner about his plans behind the scenes to help him out!) but it just feels a little odd that suddenly her wedding is all she can talk about obsessively.
One of my friends does nothing but talk about my wedding/my engagement ring (constant comments about “that ROCK” on my finger) when I’m around her, which feels weird because I just want to talk about normal things with her like we always have.
Another few friends (who I am actually not close to, and truly haven’t spoken with since we were all in school together) have reached out to me at various points saying things like “Hey girl, heard about your engagement, congrats! My boyfriend and I will probably get engaged soon too, we’re just really focused on our careers right now!”
Like…okay? That’s great, I’m happy to hear it, but why do women in my life suddenly feel like they have something to prove to me just because I’m engaged? (Further, “we’re too focused on our careers to get married now!” feels a little pointed — he’s a doctor and I’m a marketing professional, we’re clearly career focused too.) I’m not making a big fuss about my engagement, I’m not drawing tons of attention to myself, I’m not acting like anything… I have just found these reactions to be odd.
Out of curiosity, did any of you guys get weird reactions from friends after your engagement? Is this normal to see in groups of girls when the first one gets engaged?