Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?

posted 1 month ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Totally different. 

10 years ago i was in an abusive and violent relationship and i didn’t think i would ever get away. 

Even 3 years ago i left my family and friends with no intention of coming back. 

Here i am 12 months away from marrying my best friend, with a cute little dog and a lovely house that we own. 

My life did a total flip and i couldn’t be more thankful <3

Post # 3
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

Very different.

I thought I would be working with animals, that I would be happily married with 2 kids by 30, that I would own a house with some property, likely a horse or two out in the country somewhere.

 

Instead – I am a mining engineer; work underground and designing mines, decided I didn’t want animals to be my career as working with them was my favourite hobby. I was married at 22, divorced by 26 due to the relationship being unhealthy and abusive. Went on a year long WTF is wrong with me, i’m a hot mess, going to travel the world and party lots phase after my divorce. Found my now husband, and i’m now married and pregnant with baby #1. We bought a little condo in the city; can’t afford the house/yard/horses but I honestly couldn’t be happier with where my life has taken me

Post # 4
Member
4628 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I always thought I would be married with at least one kid at the age of 26

At the age of 26, I had a breakup with my then fiancé and it led to an anxiety induced manic episode (diagnosed by my therapist a few years later, I was out of control and exhibiting manic behavior but my med prescriber does not believe that I’m bipolar)

In that time (a year and a half which is why it’s weird to me to call it a manic episode, just manic behaviors), I lost count of my partners (my ex was number four at that point), I hooked up with complete strangers on internet dating sites, I put on forty pounds, I bought a few pets, maxed out my credit cards, bought a house on a whim, and got pregnant with my now husband who I only knew for a few months at the time. I’ve asked him why he didn’t just leave me because he knew I wanted to get pregnant, he said he wanted a baby too. I was completely out of control. I’m still paying off my credit card debt five years later, still in the house that I bought, still have the pets that I took in.

But when I got pregnant, my spiral stopped dead in its tracks, the pregnancy hormones were actually good for me.

I turned my life around and I dealt with the “damage” that was done. I’ll eventually sell the house for one in a better school district, I’m about a year away from paying off my last credit card, my daughter is my world…

I never would have thought that something like that would happen, but knowing what it was, I’m not afraid of it anymore because I know that now that I maintain stability because of my daughter, it’s unlikely to happen again without me picking up on the beginnings of it

But I believe that big black hole in my life was meant to happen because it put me where I am now, and I feel home. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be in my life and it was one hell of a bumpy road to get here. It’s a road that I’m not ashamed of anymore, I’ve been talking about it and accepting it for about a year or so

Post # 5
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

God no! I was married at pregnant at 18, di vorced by 20. Then seriously dated an asshole from 21-27 thanks to BC failure had baby number two.

At that point I considered my life a colossal fuck up and said I was DONE having kids and dating. Figured when they kids turned 18-21 I would date for my own happiness.

Then BOOM at 34 I get engaged to FH and now we are getting married and planning to TTC. I always figured by 36 I would be almost free – my son would be 18 and my daughter would be 12, she spends half the week with her dad so Id be basically on my own. Now I have another stepdaughter and FH and I will probably have a baby added by 36.

I would NOT recommend this path to anyone and I have guilt/shame for my own failures. However, I am very happy with my life now. I own a modest home, Im marrying my best friend and favorite person, and we will be “doing it right” with this one lol. Ughhh… what a crazy journey

Post # 6
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yes and no.

 

In HS I pictured my life as being in business/the corporate world, being career focused, having kids and a dog, happily married living in the suburbs. I expected all of this to happen around age 25 (HA!)

I ended up going into global development, travelled the world and lived internationally for years – I could never have envisioned what my 20’s actually were back in my teens. I’m SO grateful that my 20’s were so much more interesting then 18 yr old me foresaw!

Now, my life is basically what teen-me envisioned. I left global development to work in management consulting. Darling Husband and I live a comfortable life in the suburbs with our dog, I’m pregnant with our first, and we hope to have additional kids after.

However, where 30’s me deviates from teen me is that I don’t want to be a career-focused business woman anymore. I’d rather move to a less demanding role that gives greater freedom to be the parent I want to be and to have the work/life balance I’m missing now. 

So I’d say my life has become mostly what teen me envisioned, but happened a few years later then planned (thank goodness!) and my priorities have shifted a bit towards personal life/family and away from career.

 

Post # 7
Member
847 posts
Busy bee

Still in its process, BUT it definitely has taken a turn. 

I thought I was going to end my life at one point (Sorry for the darkness of this one lol). 

In high school, I could not see too far into my future bc I only imagined killing myself before my twenties. 

I’m in my mid twenties and can not imagine doing any of that anymore. I look forward to such a wonderful life with my SO. My SO is my biggest supporter. We have two pups with HUGE personalities. We are landlords and plan to continue to invest in Real Estate, stocks, and other forms. We have a very plausible goal of having our ‘home home’ paid off or mostly paid off in about 6-7 years. We are on the road to early retirement (by my late 30s-early 40s max)…there would have to be a series of some serious mishaps for that not to happen. 

Im very very VERY thankful for my life now. Extremely. So much so, sometimes, that it makes me want to break down and cry to think I considered ending it. 

Post # 9
Member
2464 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Big picture: Yes.

I knew as a pre-teen that I did not want to have biological kids; I knew I wanted a spouse or long-term partner; I knew I wanted to adopt pets;  I knew I wanted a full-time career.

It’s the details and the journey that I could never have imagined.

I was divorced before I turned 23. My rebound fling ended up being an amazing guy who stuck around for the long haul (12 years together, almost 7 married). I have no bio-kids but hubby has 2 daughters from a previous marriage, both adultss now. I’m stepmom (I concede this point to the universe; that’s what I get for being so adamant about NOT wanting/having kids). We have 2 red Siberan Huskies who are our babies, and one giant, evil kitty. In terms of career, I’m in a completely different field than I could have every imagined but I love what I do and my boss/co-workers/employees are amazing. 

Post # 11
Member
6573 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Yes and no. 

If you’d have asked me when I was in high school how I thought my life would pan out, it was something like: get married at 28 (yes, that exact number, no idea why), first kid at 30. Then another kid a couple years later. Be married to a regular white collar, upper middle class, college educated dude. Living in a big, new house. If anything every broke or whatever we’d call someone to fix it. Basically the way things look on generic sitcoms I guess! And the guy I was dating in my early 20s would have led to this exact life…

Instead, I started dating my now husband at 28…a blue collar, middle class, high school drop out! Got married at 33. First kid at 34 (and I’m pretty sure he’ll be our ONLY child). We did buy a house, but it isn’t “new” by any stretch. And I wouldn’t describe it as big either, but perfect for our needs. And if anything breaks, we fix it ourselves! 

So in a broad sense, yes. I’m married to a man I truly am head over heels in love with, who treats me like a true partner and is the best man I’ve ever known. I have my son who is the light of my life. And we have our beautiful house that needs a bit of work. 

Post # 12
Member
9012 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

More or less. Except I wanted to be a super cool sports statistician and instead I’m a boring ass lawyer 😂

Oh and I also wanted 3 boys like in Home Improvement, but after this first one, oh god no. I’m pretty sure my uterus is closed for business.

Post # 13
Member
6861 posts
Busy Beekeeper

sharpshooter :  more or less even if the timing wasn’t exact. I wanted and expected the husband, house, kid, and dog. Career wise I’m not quite sure what I expected but I figured whatever I fell into I’d be good at and I have been successful so…yes and no on that one? 

Post # 14
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Absolutely not. Different country, different career, different man. I would never look back.

Post # 15
Member
3510 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

In some ways yes, but in other ways, no. It’s something that I’m trying hard to come to terms with. Up until two years ago, my life had been pretty free of any major complications and things were all going according to my plan. In talking to one of my co-workers recently, I’ve learned that most of them think my life is “perfect” because I appear to have it all – the wonderful husband, the nice house, fur baby, and I’m generally well-liked. And I’m grateful for all of those things. But they have no idea of what has been going on in my personal life. The sudden loss of a parent has changed my whole view on life and while it’s been two years, my heart still hurts and a piece of me really died with her. My husband has multiple sources of income but is underemployed when it comes to the area that he got his PhD in. I’m so grateful that we can live comfortably but the grueling job search has been hard on his ego and morale, but I can’t let it show that it’s been hard on me because I have to keep building him up and not show my worry. And to top it all off, we’re facing infertility and will need ICSI/IVF to conceive a child. I’m grateful that my insurance covers it, but we have a difficult form of male factor infertility so there’s a real chance that we may not be able to have a child that is biologically both ours. So yeah, another big blow to my husband’s ego, so I have to be the strong one when I’m equally as devastated. Seeking infertility treatment has been a long, drawn out path and even though I have no issues, I still have to go through all of this ridiculous testing. If we are even able to do IVF (I pray that we can), it’s an incredibly involved and invasive process. So while my life looks “perfect” to those on the outside looking in, I’m dealing with tremendous anxiety and bouts of depression. I’m trying so hard to hold it all together, and for the sake of my husband’s pride, I can’t even be open about my feelings and what’s going on with most of the people in our lives. This isn’t at all what I thought my life would look like. I just had a birthday and I thought that I’d be pregnant or even have a baby by now, and that my husband would have a better job in the field by now, and that my grandma (she and my mom raised me so I consider her a parent) would still be here. But none of that is the case.    

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors