Post # 17
My SO asked my dad on December 24th. Still hasn’t asked me 🙁 I’m waiting as patiently as possible! I don’t think it’s going to happen right away, but i think it will happen in the next 6 months 🙂 we only see my parents once or twice a year so he had to ask then if he was planning to ask!
Post # 18
@orangeuexcited: Asking (or maybe actually telling the father) is the custom in FI’s culture. They basically call it kidnapping. But it’s not. So often it happens this way…the girl and guy meet, decide they want to be together, she “disappears” and a few weeks later the guy goes to the girl’s father and tells her he intends to keep this man’s daughter. I’m not entirely sure what happens if the father objects. I assume the father would always agree because his daughter’s reputation might be ruined if he didn’t. She’s obviously been living with this guy for a few weeks and they’ve likely had sex. The more modern approach is to date some-what (not really allowed to be alone together) and then ask her father’s permission. And then if anyone finds out they’ve had sex or the girl is pregnant either one or both families will likely force them to marry. Marriage is a risky and complicated thing there. So glad I have options, rights and choices!
Anyway, we live in America and I’m divorced and 36. So it seems a bit odd that he would need my father’s permission. So, no, he did not ask.
Post # 19
No, my Dad has always said it’s our (i have a sister) decision whether to marry someone or not and not his place to give his “permission”. I told my husband this before he proposed so he knew not to ask! I like to think my Dad would have been nice if my husband had asked, but he’d have probably made jokes and said no.
Post # 20
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
No, my FH didn’t ask and thank god. It would have been super pressurising to know that other people knew the proposal was coming before me; and my Dad thinks that sort of thing is silly anyway.
Post # 21
He is talking to my dad and mom in March (next time we see them) and I am SO EXCITED. After that he just needs a ring and then I should be in imminent engagement territory!
I explained to FH that asking for their blessing (not permission) would mean a lot to them and me. I love my folks, and want their support from day 1.
Post # 22
@orangeuexcited: yes, we had discussed it prior to the proposal, it’s not traditional in my family but it was important to me! He also asked my mother 🙂
Post # 23
That would have been weird for both SO and My SDad
Post # 24
Yes, he did. Which I think was wierd since this was my second marriage- but it was important to my DH and my dad really liked that he did it.
Post # 25
Nope, he didn’t ask my dad. They had not even met before we got married. He did ask my mom, but that was in part I’m sure to enlist her help with the surprise proposal.
Post # 26
Nope, I asked Fiance not to ask. Partly because I thought I should be the first to know if he was going to propose, and partly because I wanted to be able to tell my dad myself. Seeing the smile spread across his face when we told my parents we were engaged was the best thing about announcing it and a memory I will treasure.
Post # 27
Yes, although it wasn’t something I particularly wanted him to do, or even something that I think my dad expected, but something he wanted to do on his own. I think he just saw it as a chance to have a one-on-one talk with my dad, who can be a bit distant sometimes.
I knew he was going to my dad’s to talk to him, and when he got home, he told me what they both said, and it was really touching to hear some of the really sweet things my dad said to him. I think he proposed 3 days later.
Post # 28
@orangeuexcited: Fiance did ask both my parents (separately, as they’re divorced lol). Both pretty much gave him the same answer – “It’s her decision, just make sure you’re prepared to make her happy.” LOL
Post # 29
@orangeuexcited: Not engaged yet but my SO won’t be speaking to my dad as he passed away when I was 17 (long time ago now). He could ask my mom but I kinda hope he doesn’t as I want to be the one to tell her when we get engaged 🙂
Post # 30
my dad passed away, but DH did ask for my mom’s blessing.
i did not know he did this, though i knew engagement was coming.
my mom told me after. DH said the sweetest things to my mom.
Post # 31
SO won’t be asking my father – as far as I’m concerned, I am an adult capable of making my own choices and regardless of whether or not my father wants me to marry SO, I will be marrying him. SO and I are telling my parents pre-engagement that we do plan on getting engaged in the near future though. I want my parents involved and knowing what is going on with us, but I don’t want my marriage to hinge on the permission of my father.