Post # 47
My Fiance tried to ask both of my parents, funnily enough. They are divorced…when Fiance called my dad, he didn’t answer the phone for a few days so we were already out of town by the time my dad even tried to contact him back.
As for my mom, she had some really bad depression around that time and would simply walk away from him everytime he tried to talk to her about anything. She hated my Fiance, for whatever reason. But she sure did like to bitch about him not asking her…ah well. She died in July, so no worries now it seems. =/
Post # 48
My husband didn’t ask my father. I’d be more bothered if he did than if he didn’t. My father isn’t in my life – my choice – so there’s no reason why he would have been asked.
Post # 49
I never asked my Fiance to and he did. He tried to do it in person but my dad was out of town and he didn’t know it and we were leaving for the trip he proposed to me on a day later. My dad was in Brazil and my Fiance had to call him there and he felt so awful that he couldn’t do it in person but my dad didn’t care either way. My dad’s response was “are u sure u wanna be stuck with her” oh silly daddy
Post # 50
I told my partner that if he asked my father and/or mother for their blessing, permission, or even simply told them (before telling me) that he was planning on proposing, I would be royally pissed at him AND them. He said he thought the whole idea was disgusting and andtiquated anyway, and he thought it would be terribly awkward and he had no desire to do it. I was quite pleased that we were on the same page.
Further conversations revealed that he didn’t want to actually propose/I didn’t want a formal proposal. More on that to follow soon.
Post # 51
@orangeuexcited: He did not. Mostly because my dad had already made his approval obvious in other ways and that dad also doesn’t agree with that tradition.
Post # 52
He asked both of my parents, took them out for a nice lunch at one of their favorite restaurants (back in February of 2013). He didn’t really ask them for their blessing, he more so told them he planned to marry me.
Post # 53
I loved hearing everyone’s stories! They’re all so different 🙂 I’m a bit more traditional, so would appreciate my SO talking to my dad prior to proposing. Not asking for “permission”, but to give my dad a heads up about his plans to propose.
Post # 54
We both discussed it, he asked after he proposed because we both come from very informal families so we didn’t think about it, then he had a “wait a minute” moment then he asked my father. After my father gave his blessing, my aunt and mother cried, we then proceeded to start planning our wedding.
I would’ve never thought of it, but my grandfather (who he asked and who I refer to as my father) never got to see my mother get married (she passed away at 24, I refer to my grandmother as my mother) and there have been no marriages in our family for about 50 years. I thought it would mean something to my father and it did, he was shocked and appreciative.
Post # 55
@orangeuexcited: he did ask my parents. It was 6 weeks between that and the proposal. My poor mom could barely hold it in!
Post # 56
@orangeuexcited: I’m waiting…. but I know he’s going to be asking my mum and brother for their blessing because he’s told me that he’s planning to
Post # 57
Yes! My husband flew to my hometown for the day and asked my parents face to face. My parents were completely wow’d by his gesture. I didn’t find out until I called my parents after we got engaged that my husband spent $400 to fly out to see my parents for a few hours. My parents still talk about how thoughtful it was and it validated how respectful my husband is. My husband knew my parents were going to pay for our wedding and wanted to get them involved earlier in the process. Thank goodness my parents were hands off with the whole process. They just wrote us a check and said we can use it however, whenever we want to. It paid for our wedding AND furnished most of our new home with the money.
Post # 58
Nope- I am an adult capable of making my own decisions. I’d have been annoyed if he would have. The only person he needs a blessing from is ME.
Post # 59
Oh wow. I don’t think that wanting my family’s/loved ones blessing makes me any less of an adult capable of making my own decisions.
I love the Bee for differences in opinions/experiences/stories! But man, some comments sting!
Post # 60
I haven’t been proposed to yet, but I know my FH will not be asking my dad (or mom). I see my parents fairly often, but we aren’t a talk-about-our-feelings kind of family, one of those “acts of service = love” kind of things. I remember when I was younger, there was a Dear Abby that mentioned the parent’s blessing and I slyly asked my dad what he thought, and he said it was outdated thinking, so I know he wouldn’t be upset or anything.
The first Christmas with my SO, I invited him to our family holiday dinner and my dad had a bottle of sparkling blueberry cider. He asked who wanted to try it and there was a short silence from everyone (I don’t like blueberry).. and then my SO piped up “I’ll try some!” and my dad said “Now there’s a brave person!” That’s pretty much his version of giving the blessing. 🙂