Post # 106
My mom paid for my dress. I didn’t ask, but she offered. Fortunatley, my custom made dress was lower than what she planned to pay. And my dad won a free wedding dress preservation service at a raffle, so I guess he “paid” for that!
Post # 107
I completely agree, a gift is different from financial dependency which is a complicated and often sensitive subject.
Expecting money from parents/relatives is unrealistic. Everyone’s got there own financial troubles ie renovation work, medical bills, student loans etc, contributing to a wedding is just not possible for lots of people and that has to be respected. I’m very fortunate that my parents have offered to contribute and I love having them involved in my planning.
To be honest, my post was aimed at another bee for her ‘young brides playing dress up’ comment haha
I’m sorry you and your husband are going through such a terrible time, hopefully things start to get better soon *hugs*
Post # 108
No I paid for my dress myself, didn’t even think to ask and had no idea this was a “thing”
Post # 109
it’s fine if your parents want to offer to help out with the wedding as a gift, that’s really nice. but people who expect their parents to pay because of some archaic tradition? no.
Post # 111
My husband and I paid for most of our wedding, but my mom did buy my dress. She also helped with the cake and flowers. I got my dress as a sample and it cost $600. I was very grateful that she wanted to do that for me. It really meant a lot.
Post # 112
I expect we’ll be paying for most of the wedding since my parents are far from well-off financially and neither are FI’s parents, but I went looking at dresses with my mom last weekend, and, honestly, I could see her impulsively pulling out her credit card to pay, haha. I’m not saying I expect her to, but I know her. She loves buying things for her kids; my mom has always been a mom before anything else.
Post # 113
Let me make myself clear. We wouldnt be able to aford the wedding in the time frame we were now planning it. We are paying for half of it ourselves, my parents OFFERED to pay for what they’re paying. It was NEVER expected. So before jumping to conclusions and assume that I expected them to pay, please realize I never did. If it was last year, with my mom not having insurance and her cancer, I would of said no, because the medical bills are ridiculus. But everything worked out and my parents can help with what they OFFERED. Yes their gift was given freely, as in, we weren’t “expecting it or depending on it”. We were planning a longer engagement in order to pay for it ourselves, SORRY my parents offered to pay for what they’re paying? I’m a full time college nursing student, and when I’m not in school, I’m taking care of my mom because my sister is away at school and my dad works 7 days a week. Oh and I do work… Just incase you think I dont. Next time just tag me in the comment, because it was obviously towards me.
Oh and I didn’t call you petty, bitter, snarky, jealous, etc; I was refering to anyone who has a problem with someone elses mom, dad, family wanting to help with the wedding dress and or wedding.
Post # 114
appreciate the clarification. That additional context makes it clear that my comment doesn’t apply to you.
I’m sorry that your mom had to battle cancer and I’m glad things are working out for you.
it’s a shitty situation and sometimes the worst comes first. i appreciate your sympathy because sometimes I do need the reminder that things can get better.
Post # 115
I bought my dress online without telling anyone and my mom found out and was really sad. She said she would have paid for it, but I don’t like people buying me stuff and it was only $85.
Post # 116
bitsybee: It was originally aimed towards me, but I don’t mind clarifing.
My mom is still batteling cancer, but she was able to get health insurance (finally) and it covered alot of her previous bills as well as the current ones. Thank you for your sympathy, it means a lot.
I hope your situation works itself out, situations like that really suck, especailly when it comes down to exploiting someones death in order to take advantage of you and your DH. Really hope that this situation works itself out.
Post # 117
- Wedding: December 2014 - Dade City Garden Club
we were planning on going to the court house and getting married, but my mom insisted we do the dress and all, especially with her being diagnosed with ALS. she wanted to see me in a wedding dress. She paid for my dress and a good portion of the wedding, the rest of my family helped as did my husband and I. I felt bad but she insisted.
Post # 118
eff cancer. I’m going to pray for your mom’s recovery and eventual remission if that’s ok. I lost my grandma to cancer when I was eight and it changed my father.
cancer sucks. Love is awesome. <3
I am praying that I can trust my dh’s sense of boundaries and value of our very new marriage to help his family in an appropriate, sustainable way. He’s so giving and generous (which I love) but sometimes overly so. I don’t want us to miss out on kids, a home and retirement because we’re too busy enabling other adults to live beyond their means just because they expect it.
Sorry for the novella – it’s been weighing on my mind:\
Post # 119
My mom offered but I did not follow up. I got married older so she was elderly and my parents were already retired so I didn’t think it was her responsibility but really appreciated her offering, particularly bc she wasn’t a pain about that or anything else to do with my wedding, just happy for us and supportive.