(Closed) Did your parents hide that SO asked permission?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did your SO ask permission and did your parents hide it from you?

    He asked and they told me before the proposal so I would stop worrying

    He didn't ask

    He asked and they lied when I mentioned it before the proposal

    He asked and it never came up before the proposal, so there was nothing to lie about!

    He only asked my dad because he knew my mom couldn't keep it a secret.

  • Post # 3
    13905 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    He asked, they didn’t tell me, and I wasn’t worried or anxiously waiting…so I don’t have an option to vote in the poll!

    Post # 4
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Wasn’t sure how to vote in the poll. He asked my dad’s permission, and I didn’t know until after he proposed. So my parents kept it a secret, but it wasn’t like I was asking them either…

    Post # 5
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    The engagement wasn’t a surprise but I was surprised to find out that my fiance went to visit my parents (over an hour away) to ask permission and was able to keep it a secret. He only went a few days before or I bet my stepmom would have let the cat out of the bag. But his has been his only really suscessful surprise he’s pilled on me!

    Post # 6
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    My father passed away just a few weeks after I met Fiance, but he visited my dad’s sister & her husband (who I am VERY close with) to ask for their blessing, and he even got a double bonus because when he went to see them, my grandmother (my dad’s mom) and my great aunt (her sister) were visiting as well, so he got to show the ring to all 4 of them and ask for their blessing.  

    I had told him way back before we were even dating that I always expected whomever I married to ask for my family’s blessing, because I couldn’t imagine marrying someone who my family didn’t approve of, so it was really special for me to know that he took me seriously and asked them first. 

    Post # 7
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    He drove to my hometown to ask their permission (love him), and then Fiance asked me a few days later.  No one told me and I wasn’t expecting it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 8
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    View original reply
    @abbie017  Same here, can’t vote.  He asked, they didn’t tell, but I never asked.

    Post # 9
    6261 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    He didn’t ask, but we both already knew my family approved of him and they knew we intended to get married 

    Post # 10
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I didn’t know how to vote either. He asked their permission and then proposed to me. I was in the dark about it all, so I was never wondering or asking my parents whether something had happened.

    However, I will say that he proposed just a few hours after asking permission because he was afraid my mom would somehow let the secret out! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 11
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Can’t vote, he asked but my proposal wasn’t a surprise, so I already knew he was asking and then we all talked about it afterwards.

    Post # 12
    4413 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    He asked my dad, who kept it a secret from both me and my mom (she couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it, bless her heart). Haha it took a couple days after the proposal before I finally called home to tell the folks, because we were traveling and exhausted and all that, and poor Dad was DYING waiting for the phone call, because he knew exactly when DH was going to ask!

    Post # 13
    1469 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    He took both my parents out to lunch, showed them the ring and asked them to marry me!!  I had no idea that he had met with my parents or had a ring, nobody indicated anything ๐Ÿ™‚  It was perfect, he knew how stongly i felt about him asking my parents, i am so glad he did!

    Post # 14
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @Gemstone  Hah…that was my DH too! He actually wanted to propose sooner, but we went on vacation right after he asked my dad. And he didn’t want my mom finding out either, b/c he knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut! 

    Post # 15
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My parents (and FI’s parents) live a few thousand miles from Fiance & me; I knew that Fiance wanted to ask for my father’s blessing, so when we went to visit I kind of knew he would ask.

    My parents had actually told me at the beginning of the vacation “We expected you to be wearing a ring when you arrived!  We thought this trip was to announce your engagement.”  And I told them, “No, I think Fiance will talk to you before he asks.”  So I guess I prepped my parents for FI’s talk! (Almost immediately my mother started telling my whole family that I was getting married.  Which I thought was silly and a little annoying.)

    We got engaged about 2 weeks after returning from that vacation. (Turns out Fiance was still waiting on my ring!)

    Post # 16
    1423 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Fiance didn’t ask my parents and they had no idea he was even planning on asking. As a girl, I thought whoever would be my husband would ask my Dad for permission…and I really hated the thought of it. I think my Dad used to want whoever my guy was to ask permission, but then reality sunk in and I think he realized I was not that type of girl and that while I like tradition, I don’t like that one. My parents were not bothered that Fiance didn’t ask first. I think it’s not their place to give permission.

    Interestingly enough, I’m the only one in my circle to have a Fiance who didn’t ask permission. My friends were actually mortified! I, and Fiance, seem to always be going against the norm.

    Fiance told his Dad, brother, SIL, and a mutual friend of ours that he was asking. The mutual friend so she could help him with take pictures of my ring, and he told his family out of nothing more than courtesy.

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