(Closed) Did your relationship start with you or your SO playing "hard to get?"

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you or your SO play "hard to get?"
    I played hard to get : (29 votes)
    28 %
    SO played hard to get : (6 votes)
    6 %
    We did not play hard to get : (62 votes)
    60 %
    We both played hard to get : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Well we certainly didn’t play games! Fiance and I started as friends with benefits but it quickly (within a month) turned into stronger feelings. If anything, I was the “hard to get” one, but that’s more because I tend to overthink things and didn’t want to get into a relationship without weighing up all the pros and cons.

    I’ve heard that playing hard to get works as well because, from a evolutionary perspective, people are going to be more attracted to those who hard hard for others to get, but still available for them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    When I was dating, I was an expert in hard to get πŸ™‚ it definitely works – never once did I call a guy first, or initiate contact, and I was never available on a Saturday for a first date. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Does it count if I officially stated I wanted to be just friends first? haha. I wasn’t sure how I felt and I wanted to just sorta see how things went and take it slow. He surprised-kissed me in like a week though… he said he couldn’t contain it/wait. lol 

    Post # 6
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Uhhhhhmmmmmmmm…… no. 

    Definitely not..

    …at all. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1292 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Hmmm good question I don’t want to say I played hard to get because I was definitely “available” for him and didn’t play games but he just liked me WAY more than I liked him. HE asked me to be his gf like a week after knowing me and I was seriously shocked (I stared at him blankly, tho I did say yes) The first 3 months of our relationship though I cared about him and went out with him often I held back BIG TIME emotionally / mentally and he came full force. Close to four months in I fell in love and then it was about equal after that πŸ™‚

    Post # 8
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    @Ellegee:  Oh… does that count? I never initiated a first call or contact… but not because I meant to play hard to get. I just had it in my mind that if they weren’t interested, neither way I… lol. Even if I thought I liked them. I wasn’t convinced they felt the same way unless they did contact me… and I figured since I was a girl, I could get away with it because guys understand in general that they do the contacting… I just NEVER wanted to show interest unless I know interest was officially there…. and then I’d want to wait for a long time, because I’d assume it was just fleeting or they just liked me because they thought I was attractive… so I didn’t want to do anything until I knew they actually liked me for me and knew me…

    I didn’t ever say I wasn’t available when I was though…

     

    Maybe I don’t know where “hard to get” really starts/ends… lol

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    @S2013:  This was very similar for us!!! So yes… I don’t know wither. lol

     

    eta, actually pretty much identical… wow. lol

    Except I never consented to girlfriend for like 3 or 4 months… haha. No official titles for me; they were too scary o_o ::cough::commitaphobe::cough::

    Post # 10
    Member
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Nope.  We just met, hung out, hung out more, became bf/gf, etc.  I don’t think playing hard to get really works for more than the fun of the chase.  I do however think being confident, independent and secure in who you are gets attention though. 

    Not that I’m dating anymore but I did for years and my feelings were:  Someone out “looking” has that needy vibe that made want to run.  Someone who’s just out to be out and fine with who they are/where they are would catch my attention.  The person playing hard to get… I wouldn’t bother with them lol… they came off to me as needy on a different level and the games are just too much work lol. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t play games any more, and I tend to take no for an answer. So if a guy seems disinterested, I lose all interest in him (or rather I did when I was single). My Fiance is the same way, he doesn’t play games.

    I know that playing “hard to get” does work, I’ve played it when I was younger, but in my experience it only works in the short term. Once the person has “gotten you” and the thrill of the chase is over, he tends to loose interest. Just my experience, and why I play no games.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    It wasn’t purposely playing hard to get for us. We both fancied each other but didn’t have the guts to approach the other (we worked together). A mutual friend finally got sick of prodding us, and in frustration one day, she turned to me and snapped “that’s it! I’m over it, I’m giving him your number and telling him to text you!” I freaked out!

    That night, he called me. He said that texting was impersonal and he wanted to hear my voice instead. I swooned (hey, i was 18!). We talked for hours until his phone died, had our first date a few nights later, and the rest is history! We celebrate our 7 year anniversary in March πŸ™‚

    Post # 13
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No game playing here either.  But I did make the first move…we were 16.  I saw him at a party and got his number from a friend.  I called him up and we talked for hours and hours and hours and after that we were on course πŸ™‚

    Post # 14
    Member
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    By the time I started dating Darling Husband, I was fed up with idiotic game-playing. Sexually, I certainly didn’t play hard to get and emotionally we were both in there from pretty early on.

    Whilst I didn’t play hard to get, I did decide that if he make some of the effort to keep the relationship going that I’d walk away (my ex had always let me do all the running and I wasn’t willing to do that again). He always made a lot effort to see me and speak to me, though; if we weren’t physically together (he lived 40 odd miles away to begin with), we were on the phone or chatting online.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Not at all! There was absolutely no game playing and I think that’s how I knew he was the one!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldn’t really call it hard-to-get, but when Darling Husband and I met (online), I had a boyfriend. I was upfront about it, and he was cool with it. We remained platonic for close to 5 months before I even met up with him for coffee…

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