Did your sex drive change the longer you TTC and/or after an infertility diag?

posted 1 year ago in TTC
Post # 31
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

From my experience, by about month 6, BDing was getting pretty miserable. Scheduling sex took the romance and fun out of everything. Plus, it did feel like our bodies were failing us. At one point, I asked my DH just not to BD at all during one cycle. Not only was it draining both physically and emotionally… but I couldn’t stand the thought of failing to get pregnant another month… and by not BDing… we couldn’t “fail.”

Once we started IUIs and IVF though, things started to feel a little better again. Since we didn’t HAVE to BD anymore, it allowed us to be more spontaneous and not feel so pressured. I will say though, I still don’t feel either DH’s or my sex drives are back to “normal” though.

Sorry. You are not in a fun spot at all right now when it comes to TTC. I hope that starting IUI will start to relieve some of that BD pressure soon so that you can start enjoying it again.

Post # 32
Member
7162 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mel2 :  We’re just asking you to be more sensitive. If you were to say things about how thankful you are to get pregnant the first time and how you’re so lucky, you never know what someone who is listening is going through.  Someone who would have otherwise confided in you about their TTC struggle might act okay or fake laugh it off, but I bet if you’re talking like that in real life, someone you know has already been brought to tears wondering why they couldn’t be as lucky as you. 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility. We’re just asking you to think about those people when you humble brag about the one cycle it took you to get pregnant, because that’s what people hear all the time… How someone’s husband just had to look at them and they fell pregnant. It’s too much. It’s not realistic. My own mother pulled that “it was too easy for us” card when it took us close to a year to get pregnant. It sucks, no matter who is saying it.

Post # 33
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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SeaOfLove :  Love all the ASSumptions y’all are making here. Just want to resent other people. Im done.

Post # 34
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

Nobody is looking to resent other people here. YOU are the one who commented on an infertility post about how you got pregnant your first month trying. It was rather insensitive. Again, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you think a little bit before making insensitive/ignorant comments about fertility on an infertility post. 

And for the record, I’m pregnant too. I don’t feel unwelcome here. 

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mel2 :  

Post # 35
Member
1393 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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SeaOfLove :  This. A million times this. Mel I hope you read this, cause I can’t tell you how many times during my infertility struggles I had to hear people talk about how easy it was to get pregnant. Both online and in person. 

Post # 36
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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tulipdazey :  
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Dr_dazzle :  I literally already apologized to OP. So at this point this is about people just taking out their resentments. 

Post # 37
Member
7162 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mel2 :  You apologized to OP while insulting everyone else. 👏👏

Post # 38
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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SeaOfLove :  Y’all attacked me so you can step off with that BS. I apologized. You know an apology is an admission of wrong doing, right? Its taking responsibility for ones actions and trying to make ammends. So when I apologized it meant I heard what everyone said and I felt remorse. Love how youre just skipping over than to justify your rudeness.

Ive seen plenty of women who struggle with infertility attack and guilt trip women who dont have their specific issues. Im sorry for those who struggle. But your struggle is not MY fault. And I have plenty of my own struggles but Im not going around projecting them onto everyone else. You need to grow up.

Post # 39
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica

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mel2 :  here’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the way out. 

Post # 40
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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tommywantwingy :  Thought you were deleting your account??cool

Post # 41
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica

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mel2 :  waiting for that to happen since I’m unable to do it myself. Thanks for checking 🙂 

Post # 42
Member
7162 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mel2 :  It’s the preface to your apology that was insulting. Because you insulted us, you didn’t apologize to us. You assumed you were offensive for being pregnant, while calling us smug and tone deaf. No one put blame on you but asked you to be more sensitive. I don’t get why you continue to attack people who just want you to hear how you continue to come across, and why it hurts so many people to hear those comments. 

 

Post # 44
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica

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SeaOfLove :  I wish I had your patience. You really are being so sweet taking the time to explain everything to Mel so nicely. At this point though, I really am convinced that she enjoys hurting people. 

Also, OP, I am so sorry you’re struggling. Hugs to you. I wish I had more to add. 

Post # 45
Member
7162 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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tommywantwingy :  *sigh* Thanks, darling ❤️ I don’t know why I’m still here hoping she understands. The Nesting boards are such a supportive community, and I hate for it to be ruined for anyone. It’s helped me through so much, and I know it’s like that for so many. 

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