(Closed) Did your SO ask your father for the blessing?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did your SO ask for your father's blessing before proposing?


    No (if not please tell me how come, PLEASE avoid negativity and sharkiness!)

  • Post # 197
    109 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My father passed away 4 years ago, and at that point my Fiance and I had only been dating about 1.5 years. We weren’t {seriously} talking marriage at that point. When it come time to propose, Fiance asked for my mom’s blessing, and she was thrilled and said of course. I was so happy that he asked her, because although I knew she would give her blessing, it was the gesture that meant that most to me. I know he would have asked my dad, if he was here.




    Post # 198
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    No, Fiance didn’t ask anybody. I haven’t seen my dad in 15 years, and my stepdad and I don’t always get along – plus, he’s only been around since I was 17, so he’s not really like a father to me.

    Even if there was a father to ask, Fiance wouldn’t have done it. If I found out that he had asked my father for permission, I might almost consider that grounds to refuse the proposal, or at the very least delay acceptance of it. That feels very undermining to me – I do what I want, and I decide what’s best for myself. My father would have nothing to do with it.

    Asking the father for permission goes back to the time when women were considered property – which is why the father gives permission, and not the mother. Which gives me the creeps. I would feel like cattle if two men negotiated who I belonged to like that.

    Post # 199
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Also, I have heard a story before about a boyfriend asking the bride’s father for permission – and the father refusing his permission, because anybody who would ask his permission to marry his daughter clearly didn’t know his daughter. That sounds like an awesome dad to me.

    If I’m recalling correctly, the story ends with the couple getting married anyway, and the father being happy for them… because the boyfriend realized that the point was that the bride didn’t need her father’s permission anyway to marry who she wanted. The father liked the BF just fine but knew that daughter wouldn’t want it to happen that way.

    Post # 200
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Jellyfish, Punta Cana DR

    @crisy003:  My father and I do not have the best relationship and he can’t keep a secret to save his life! So, my Fiance asked my mother and my uncle (who I am extremely close with)

    Post # 201
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @PinkStripes:  I’m with you! My Fiance asked both of my parents for their blessing… not permission. I would have been okay if he didn’t say anything to them at all, but I was frankly relieved that they had all spoken. Even just a heads up, so that I knew my parents weren’t blindsided by the proposal. I don’t think they would have been shocked, but I felt better knowing that all parents – mine and his – were aware of what was coming.

    Post # 203
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    He didnt really ask for permission he just chatted with my dad (they have a great relationship so this is not unusal) and told him he bought a ring.  My dad replied with “she does not come with a reciept…you take her you keep her”. 

    Post # 204
    728 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @pasquel:  Haha my dad made a similar comment during his speech at our wedding about no give-backs.

    My DH told me he was going to talk to my dad before proposing (we had been ring shopping and I had a pretty good idea of when it was going to happen).  My dad can be a bit standoff-ish at times, but they had a really good talk.  It wasn’t so much “asking for permission” but just letting him know, and it gave them a chance to have a heart to heart which was great.


    Post # 205
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    There is nearly a foot height difference between my dad and DH (taller).  When DH asked him, my dad says he jumped on top of him and hugged him. I so wish I could have seen it. 🙂

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